Roast the oc above you

Your face is so weird that I can't tell which features which! Or wait, is that a mask? Dang it might be...

_{Sorry, I didn't have anything to work with, and both Carrion and I are bad at this ha ha}

"Oh... uhm... you're uhm... green. What... are you sick from the people you ate? ... I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I can't do this. Please don't follow me."

"Er... thank you..?" Mal's hair puffs up a little.  "... I don't think you're really one to talk about fashion. You... look like no prize either... ugh. I'm sorry. I don't know how to be mean." 

 "You're ugly! You're not funny! You're a wimp! You have a bad sense of fashion!

Kahaha!! That felt great to let out! I'm sorry though. You have great hair!"

"Bah, you're right! That's why I changed outfits! Or are you referring to my skirt?"

that dress doesn't really go with that hat...but that's none of my business.

Hey, you look like Simba and Tinkerbell had a baby! And that's not really a good thing

Uh ok, but is taking fashion advise from you gonna help?

"You got NO business being a representation of Lust at 15 years old. Nope, nope, nope-- go back to school, keep learning, drink your juice. Yeesh!"

"Oh man, where do I even start with you? While we're on the subject of Lust though, pretty ironic that you have an easier time getting booze than getting someone into bed with you."

"...oh boy, though. When you get down do it, you're probably so salty about life you could find a way to make a weapon out of it. You could kill people with that bitterness."

((mmmmmm quick edit, tread carefully for this asshole's got a nsfw bio. i'd really love for someone to roast him though))

((strikethrough reply to ninja'd post bc i'm dyin)) "Nice try, I can't get STDs. Besides, it wouldn't be any fun if i left all the non-vanilla ones there, hmmm?"

EDIT 2: "Yes, "coffee" is totally a hobby. Doesn't even suprise me, considering how stupidly tired you look. Have you ever heard of this magical coffe replacement though? It's called "Sleep". I hope it's not too mainstream for you."

EDIT: Whoops, ninja'd :o Gimme some time to type a new answer then~

"Hm. I'd shame you for your kinks being too vanilla now, but you're being so vague about it that I don't even know what we're talking about. This does not mean that I'm wrong though."

OTHER SHIT

Very flirtatious, and very affectionate as well! He's lewd AND dangerous, has most definitely fucked before, and if someone wanted to bang him he wouldn't turn them down.

Wow, you're too good at this! Too bad you can't find good enough cover for where all your money came from. You're gonna get that goat-dog ass of yours checked out by the authorities eventually 

it's a cOMMON MISTAKE

Kinky aren't we? Bro you're like 12 chill.

 "We get it, you're emo. If I wanted to kill my eyes I'd rather stare into the sun instead of look at you."

"Oh please, hypnosis or candy or whatever can't amount to how great I am in the first place. But I don't blame you for your little outburts. Everyone gets jealous sometimes."

"Oh boy, do you use bath bombs? They're about as chalky as that candy of yours that no one actually likes to eat. No wonder you're needing to use hypnosis!"

"Clearly you're not used to true, raw music. Poor kid."