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Jiyhaxhhl Xenzyx was born in China to two Japanese samurai. His birth certificate was so poorly written that they could barely make out his name on it, hence the bizzare collection of letters he has for a name. His parents comitted ritual suicide after several failed attempts, leaving him orphaned, which is super unfortunate honestly. Not having parents sucked, because who was gonna buy him a fidget spinner?
He was raised in South Korea by one of his parents secret agent friends - and they attempted to bring him up as a normal Korean boy (despite the fact he wasn't Korean and couldn't speak Korean, so he didn't have any school friends because he had no idea what they were saying to be honest). However, when he was 13 Jiyhaxhll learned of his parents samurai past and so decided that all those weird TV shows he'd been watching were obviously sign, and therefore it was his destiny to also become a Japanese Samurai and it wasn't cultural apropriation at all probably, because his herritage was such a strange mix of different Asian cultures he'd lost track.
He went on an emotional quest to learn the art of the sword and in this journey he became spiritual and embraced God, which led him to be able to see the purest soul... High Priestess Miku. God's purest messenger, who contacts him through their bizarre soul link.
Jiyhaxhll's body became host to the dead shrine maiden Reimu Haxenajdfllllll, who kind of hates him, due to his vow of celibacy. On their holy travels together they encountered the elusive Blukkake, who had changed her name due to complications and dropped her really dumb surname. Blukkake tried her best to entice Jiyhaxhll, but his vow of cellibacy was strong and his chastity belt was completely locked shut. After some time, she explained her origin story to him and got criticised by Ofyndra Treegad, who left shortly after. Jiyhaxhll parted ways, and he continued on his quest.
He'd been able to see the spirit of High Priestess Miku since he started his clense, but for the first time, he met her face to face. This was, a year after his meet with Blukkake. He came across the empty shell of a body left behind of Miku after her showdown with Blukkake years before. Her disembodied spirit spoke to him, as she had many times before, and told him that the only way to return her soul to her body was to convert all the prostitutes in the local brothel to nuns. He questioned why this was the only way and H.P Miku responded with the vague answer of "God is a mystical being. Nobody knows the how, or the why. We just follow his commands. We are but chess pieces in his master plan." Which didn't actually make any sense, but that's okay, because Jiyhaxhll Xenzyx was a bit too pretentious about his faith and spirituality to realise and just went along with.
He spoke to the 12 prostitutes in the local brothel one by one, introducing them to God, but to no avail. They all said the same thing "What has God done for me?" This perplexed the poor samurai, because what hadn't God done for them? He had created the very ground they walked on and the air they breathes, but the prostitutes would not have that. And that's when Jiyhaxhll realised that people don't become prostitutes because selling your body for money is cool or trendy, they do it because they need money. So he organized, because he had God's Purest Messenger and a dead spirit on his side, a job for them, writing out Bible Passages by hand to create really vintage looking Bible's for the hipster Christians. Eventually the prostitutes, for whatever reason, all realised they actually wanted to be nuns and took the holy vow of celibacy and Miku's soul was allowed to rejoin with her body. Though, her and Jjiyhaxhll are still in touch due to their soul link, which is a pretty sweet deal to be honest.
It had been a long time since Miku had contacted him, when he received notion from her that she required his assistance to take down a teenage Ninja girl. He didn't realise how dire the situation was, however. The fight was intense. His swordsmanship was almost perfectly matched with Sakura's fighting abilities, but Akuma was no honorable kunoichi. She played dirty and unfair, causing Jiyhaxhhl to lose. And upon his loss, out of cruelty and spite Akuma sealed away his soul into his sword, making a cruel joke about how he was always 'one with the sword'. When Akuma left, however, she failed to account for the spirit inhabiting Jiyhaxhhl's body, the shrine maiden: Reimu Haxenajdfllllll. Upon discovering the loss of her host's own conscious and mind (because according to René Descartes the mind and body are separate, so that's totally possible), Reimu used his phone (despite being a samurai and looking very old fashioned, he was still quite trendy and modern) to call for the assistance of Ranjeeta, a bollywood girl who was living in the United Kingdom at this current moment. She requested her help to defeat the girl who took away Jiyhaxhhl's soul, the 16 year old war machine Akuma Katsune.
Jiyhaxhll is still sealed within his sword to this day. Waiting for someone to set him free.
icon and bio by soymilk
