pERSONALITY
Despite his good heart, more often than not Seif is not very approachable. He is choleric and asocial, and his manner of speaking tends to be very blunt, brutally honest, or even condescending. He is not above provoking or belittling those who oppose or irritate him. What little sense of humor he does seem to have tends toward the vulgar, dry, and dark. All of this makes him unsettling or unpleasant to a number of people, and the only thing keeping him from succumbing to his severe introverted tendencies are his alarming number of obligations, self-imposed or otherwise. Underneath the surface however, he greatly appreciates the few personal connections he does manage to create, as well as the comfortable relationships he manages to form with his students, if not his coworkers. He doggedly loyal to those who earn his trust, but this also means he takes betrayal of said trust very personally.
While first impressions don’t usually suggest it, Seif is actually an extremely emotional, intense (if not high-strung) individual. He feels his emotions in extremes, from seething anger to fleeting but acute elation. He is deeply empathetic in that he will cry for those who are unable to cry for themselves, and while he's unable to feel physical pain, will feel others' pain in their hearts as his own. Because he experiences his feelings rather severely, internally he attempts to detach them from himself and view them in a clinical way to deal with them. In a sense, he is afraid to embrace them to their full extent and show his full self to other people, and this often manifests itself in melancholy. When faced with his vehement, most powerful emotions he tends to crumble apart, unable to deal with expressing the entire scope of his own sense of self.
In reality, Seif could be considered his most calm when he’s in the heat of battle or a fight. After so many years of constantly putting his life on the line and honing his sharp wits, he’s able to focus and use his adrenaline to think smart, and keep a cool head when he could die at any moment. While he is aware that his battle skill is in a different league from that of almost any other mundane human alive, he is not arrogant about it, as he knows from experience that no one is invulnerable. With his ability comes with a self imposed responsibility to make sure his allies are protected.
As expected of a scholar, Seif is also an incredibly keen and intelligent person, spending his free time reading or researching all his queries still left unanswered. He is always searching, asking questions, and delving into things in depth to a stubborn degree, whether his current fascination is a person, place, or thing. He’s persistent in his pursuits, and refuses to give them up even if it takes him ages to figure out.
However, he is well aware that his obsessions with what niche things he excels at are rooted in a deep insecurity. While Seif has been engrossed in his specialties for his entire life, his other practical and social skills necessary for the hallmarks of a healthy life lag behind or are almost nonexistent. He is unable to perform a lot of creative or communal skills or actions, and it has given way to a very obvious case of social anxiety. While he finds comfort in the structured speaking of his classroom, public speaking, performing, or even simply being placed in a position where he could possibly fail and be subject to ridicule is quite scary for him. Because of this he clings to the few but well honed skills he does have like a safety blanket, well aware that if they were taken away from him, or he wasn’t able to execute them in peak condition, he would have nothing left.
As a person who has spent his entire life being pushed and pulled between being too much and not being enough, he is largely unfamiliar with himself and his identity outside of what he's good at or what he can do for others, leading to him believing he isn't noteworthy in any way. Unfortunately, due to his age, he believes he’s long past the socially acceptable deadline to start figuring himself out, so he doesn’t bother trying to improve his terrible social skills or find worth in himself. This has led him to being extremely independent, and has made it hard for him to open up emotionally to others or ask for help.
He isn’t without his more lighthearted facets however. Seif has a rather mischievous, childish sense of fun. Oftentimes he’s found himself subtly poking fun at his companions and leaving thinly veiled jibes for them to figure out hours later. He isn't above making sarcastic remarks to people either, and has been known to play almost methodically planned pranks on his closer friends. He has a fondness for the simpler, more wholesome things in life, and seems to have a weakness for cute things, good food, and 90’s rock music. It brings him some much needed levity, and reminds him that there are still things in the world worth sticking around to experience. He also enjoys high adrenaline situations, such as competitive sports or potentially dangerous activities, and due to his open mind he would likely try anything once. He is an extremely sincere, open person, even when he’s not meaning to be. He’s compelled to wear his heart on his sleeve at all times, and thus is an absolutely horrendous liar in all sense of the word. He's completely aware of this fact, considering he despises lying and being lied to as a whole, but he isn’t so naive to believe that everyone will always tell him the truth.
Seif has seen some of the bleakest, ugliest parts of humanity. He knows his strengths, he knows his weaknesses, but he isn’t quite sure how to compensate for them. He’s a leader who doesn’t see himself as worthy of such a title. He’s a swiss army knife of mental and physical prowess. His mind is jaded, but most importantly he has a lonely, caring heart, full of a chaotically inordinate amount of repressed love.
APPEARANCE...
If you can look past his perpetual scowl, Seif has rather soft facial features, save for striking green eyes framed with long eyelashes. When he removes his glasses it’s easier to see the deep bags of insomnia and a small mole under his left eye.
Seif tends to wear many layers and dark muted colors, such as earthy desaturated greens, browns, and notably black. He doesn’t like to draw too much attention to himself and cares little for fashion, but seems to have a natural knack for it. He typically cares about being presentable, and thus always tends to dress professionally and usually keeps his whole body covered.
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