CHAPTER 1 : screech
Z, in every regard, had begun with an okay life. She was born to two middle-class but not particulaly notable parents, and although they were often busy with their jobs (both teachers at a high-status private school) they cared for her to the best of their abilities. She was fed and sheltered and still young, so she saw no reason to complain.
In her parents' absence, she watched TV constantly; the news, documentaries- instead of making friends she opted to stay inside, studying or glued to the TV. From a young age, her grades were promising; her teachers said that despite her problems socialising, she had potential. Her parents started talking about sending her to a prestigious high school.
It was a summer night when it happened. Z, having stayed late at school to do homework, was walking home alone. It was dark. She couldn't see.
The last thing she'd heard before it all went black was the screech of the car coming straight toward her.
CHAPTER 2 : brink
She woke up in hospital unable to see and with the doctors around her screaming in pain. Her parents told her later that she had to be sedated, and it was another five hours before she woke up again.
The second time, she simply stared bleakly at the hand mirror the hospital provided her. While the doctors explained what had happened (no major injuries; they'd been reverted in her death) she blinked, and her own two green eyes stared back.
Despite the nightmares she was plagued with and a newfound fear of crossing roads alone, she coped alright. Everyone went through this at some point in her lives, her parents told her. If anything, at 12 this gave her an advantage; many children didn't experience any rituals until the age of 13. She was ahead. But her powers weren't entirely useful, either: through her own tests Z found the glow was simply superificial. It gave off no energy, nothing of much use; though it did well to combat the darkness. She was essentially a glorified torch. Her own night-vision.
In a private school full of talented children who had powers of fire and metal manipulation, she felt a little inadequate - certainly not helped by the classmates who gloated about their own strengths. But her parents had told her it didn't matter, so long as she studied hard. She could make her own way with her smarts. And study she did; she was at the top of her class in almost every subject, her teachers encouraged her experiments and theories, and her parent's praise only spurred her on more. She ignored her social obligations, sat in classrooms at lunch and studied after school; she was a loner, and didn't particularly care about it.
Until Mercury.
They'd always been sort-of acquaintances, partnering up if a project called for it, and Mercury didn't act like she was any better than Z even if she had all the right to, with her powers that left her ranking at the top of all the school's physical assessments. But by some miracle (and, she later realised, a lot of perseverance on Mercury's part) they grew closer; Mercury was always eager to hear about Z's newest projects, and both of them were fascinated with the origins of these powers - what it all really meant. Z welcomed love with open arms, and by the end of high school the two were a proud couple. They went to prom together; Z found her own place in Mercury's friend group, found solidarity with Sky's quiet nature and respected Kiarra's resolve. They passed their final exams with some of the best results their school had ever seen, and together got into the country's most prestigious University; funded personally by the government to spot and support the greatest minds. It'd be a perfect life.
But things would go downhill far, far further than Z had ever hoped.
CHAPTER 3 : splinter
Z's intelligence was a gift. That's what her parents told her. That's what her teachers told her all through school. That's what Mercury told her, even, when Z managed to figure something out that she couldn't.
No matter how good the grade or high the praise, though, the one thing Z could never shake off was her thoughts. Dark and morbid, violent and shameful; she never once spoke them aloud, not since she was twelve years old and stared at her green-eyed reflection in the mirror and thought of punching it to shatters, how the blood would look staining her hands. She only told Mercury, and only when she was on the wrong side of drunkenness, and they never talked about it after, despite Mercury's clear concern.
It had been Mercury's idea for her to get therapy; it was free if she opted for it from the University, so why not at least try and see if it helped? And it was cathartic. Cathartic, but not entirely helpful. The thoughts continued, but so did Z; her grades were still good, and she got on with the school year.
She scored an internship at one of the government's research facilities halfway through her first year; she was delighted at the opportunity, and even more delighted by the money on offer when they gave her a part-time job in their laboratories.
And then one day her employers approached her about her harmful ideas. Every thought she'd spoken in therapy, every horrid scenario that haunted her constantly, held over her head. Their offer was a mercy: drop everything and move to one of their facilities on the other end of the country, or be kicked out of Uni and blacklisted for her status as a mentally unstable liability.
It was hardly even a choice. She was gone by nightfall, her flat untouched, and Mercury none the wiser.
She never said goodbye.
CHAPTER 4 : aftermath
Working as a scientist for the government, leading their most depraved experiments, Z should have felt like a terrible person. She knew she was. Two years passed and she met Mercury, newly-appointed leader of an entire rebellion, and certainly heard as much. But she never felt it.
But maybe that was a good thing. Her apathy served her well; it was reflected in the pay and the thousands of subjects she was entrusted with. So what if not even her own colleagues wanted much to do with her. So what if the woman she loved would never look at her the same. So what if one day Z saw Sky there and never once thought of letting her go, approached her with the same clinical brutality as anyone else. The next she saw Mercury after that was paired with a punch and anger so palpable it should have made her feel something. And still she didn't.
Z has picked her side. She taunts Mercury and still kisses her after and two days later forgets it all. She experiments and betrays the people who'd once been her friends. She holes herself up in an office, surrounded by static and her own blank thoughts. There are gaps in her memory and an ache in her heart she can't replace and a shame so profound she feels sick with it, and she pretends it means nothing at all.
Noone cares enough to save her, and she thinks this might be what she deserves.
Comments