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3 years, 6 months ago
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nebulynn
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Z .
NAME???
AGE31
ORIENTATIONlesbian
AFFILIATIONgovernment
NICKNAME/SZ
GENDERfemale (she/her)
OCCUPATIONscientist
FAMILY COLOUR
INTRO . . .

Government-appointed lead scientist, Z's existence itself is one of their best-kept secrets- nevermind the 'projects' she works on. Seemingly merciless and gleeful in her cruelty, it's no wonder why Z's colleagues nor her bosses seem particularly interested in small talk- that is, if the notorious loner ever comes out of her office long enough to interact with them properly in the first place.

To her employers, Z is a mystery not worth investigating. A helpful tool in their experiments. To her subjects, she's life-ruining, a figure seen in nightmare and reality. Depending on who you ask, she's someone else entirely.

Keeper of the deepest secrets; goes too far and feels too little. Two-faced, traitorous, out of options. Above all else, a liability.

two-faced, traitorous, out of options. above all else, a liability.
LIKES . . .
  • watching tv
  • reading/absorbing information in general
  • fizzy drinks
  • body modification
DISLIKES . . .
  • roads in general, but especially busy ones
  • the dark
PERSONALITY . . .

Z thinks herself invincible. Just out of grasp of emotion, far from any slither of civil humanity she has left in her. Smugly taunting her subjects and coworkers is second nature, so much so that in a regular conversation (not that she has many) she feels entirely out of her depth... as if it's an entirely different person. And maybe it is, but.

She isn't nearly as apathetic as she pretends. Smart as she is her impulses override her rationality far too often. Some part of her, no matter how hard she tries to smother it, always claws its way back in the worst moments.

INTELLECT

HUMOR

EMPATHY

CHARISMA

CONFIDENCE

HONESTY

POWERS

GLOWING EYES... her eyes glow a bright green at all times. She usually wears goggles to hide it, but if she becomes overly emotional the glow can strengthen to the point of eye damage to both herself and the people around her.

MANIFESTATION... eyes turned from blue to glowing green with white rings within them.

CIRCUMSTANCES... at age 12; was run over by a car in the dark, unable to see it coming. Woke up in the hospital as she is now.

STRENGTH

ENDURANCE

DAMAGE

DEFENSE

VERSATILITY

UTILITY

CHAPTER 1 : screech

Z, in every regard, had begun with an okay life. She was born to two middle-class but not particulaly notable parents, and although they were often busy with their jobs (both teachers at a high-status private school) they cared for her to the best of their abilities. She was fed and sheltered and still young, so she saw no reason to complain.

In her parents' absence, she watched TV constantly; the news, documentaries- instead of making friends she opted to stay inside, studying or glued to the TV. From a young age, her grades were promising; her teachers said that despite her problems socialising, she had potential. Her parents started talking about sending her to a prestigious high school.

It was a summer night when it happened. Z, having stayed late at school to do homework, was walking home alone. It was dark. She couldn't see.

The last thing she'd heard before it all went black was the screech of the car coming straight toward her.

CHAPTER 2 : brink

She woke up in hospital unable to see and with the doctors around her screaming in pain. Her parents told her later that she had to be sedated, and it was another five hours before she woke up again.

The second time, she simply stared bleakly at the hand mirror the hospital provided her. While the doctors explained what had happened (no major injuries; they'd been reverted in her death) she blinked, and her own two green eyes stared back.

Despite the nightmares she was plagued with and a newfound fear of crossing roads alone, she coped alright. Everyone went through this at some point in her lives, her parents told her. If anything, at 12 this gave her an advantage; many children didn't experience any rituals until the age of 13. She was ahead. But her powers weren't entirely useful, either: through her own tests Z found the glow was simply superificial. It gave off no energy, nothing of much use; though it did well to combat the darkness. She was essentially a glorified torch. Her own night-vision.

In a private school full of talented children who had powers of fire and metal manipulation, she felt a little inadequate - certainly not helped by the classmates who gloated about their own strengths. But her parents had told her it didn't matter, so long as she studied hard. She could make her own way with her smarts. And study she did; she was at the top of her class in almost every subject, her teachers encouraged her experiments and theories, and her parent's praise only spurred her on more. She ignored her social obligations, sat in classrooms at lunch and studied after school; she was a loner, and didn't particularly care about it.

Until Mercury.

They'd always been sort-of acquaintances, partnering up if a project called for it, and Mercury didn't act like she was any better than Z even if she had all the right to, with her powers that left her ranking at the top of all the school's physical assessments. But by some miracle (and, she later realised, a lot of perseverance on Mercury's part) they grew closer; Mercury was always eager to hear about Z's newest projects, and both of them were fascinated with the origins of these powers - what it all really meant. Z welcomed love with open arms, and by the end of high school the two were a proud couple. They went to prom together; Z found her own place in Mercury's friend group, found solidarity with Sky's quiet nature and respected Kiarra's resolve. They passed their final exams with some of the best results their school had ever seen, and together got into the country's most prestigious University; funded personally by the government to spot and support the greatest minds. It'd be a perfect life.

But things would go downhill far, far further than Z had ever hoped.

CHAPTER 3 : splinter

Z's intelligence was a gift. That's what her parents told her. That's what her teachers told her all through school. That's what Mercury told her, even, when Z managed to figure something out that she couldn't.

No matter how good the grade or high the praise, though, the one thing Z could never shake off was her thoughts. Dark and morbid, violent and shameful; she never once spoke them aloud, not since she was twelve years old and stared at her green-eyed reflection in the mirror and thought of punching it to shatters, how the blood would look staining her hands. She only told Mercury, and only when she was on the wrong side of drunkenness, and they never talked about it after, despite Mercury's clear concern.

It had been Mercury's idea for her to get therapy; it was free if she opted for it from the University, so why not at least try and see if it helped? And it was cathartic. Cathartic, but not entirely helpful. The thoughts continued, but so did Z; her grades were still good, and she got on with the school year.

She scored an internship at one of the government's research facilities halfway through her first year; she was delighted at the opportunity, and even more delighted by the money on offer when they gave her a part-time job in their laboratories.

And then one day her employers approached her about her harmful ideas. Every thought she'd spoken in therapy, every horrid scenario that haunted her constantly, held over her head. Their offer was a mercy: drop everything and move to one of their facilities on the other end of the country, or be kicked out of Uni and blacklisted for her status as a mentally unstable liability.

It was hardly even a choice. She was gone by nightfall, her flat untouched, and Mercury none the wiser.

She never said goodbye.

CHAPTER 4 : aftermath

Working as a scientist for the government, leading their most depraved experiments, Z should have felt like a terrible person. She knew she was. Two years passed and she met Mercury, newly-appointed leader of an entire rebellion, and certainly heard as much. But she never felt it.

But maybe that was a good thing. Her apathy served her well; it was reflected in the pay and the thousands of subjects she was entrusted with. So what if not even her own colleagues wanted much to do with her. So what if the woman she loved would never look at her the same. So what if one day Z saw Sky there and never once thought of letting her go, approached her with the same clinical brutality as anyone else. The next she saw Mercury after that was paired with a punch and anger so palpable it should have made her feel something. And still she didn't.

Z has picked her side. She taunts Mercury and still kisses her after and two days later forgets it all. She experiments and betrays the people who'd once been her friends. She holes herself up in an office, surrounded by static and her own blank thoughts. There are gaps in her memory and an ache in her heart she can't replace and a shame so profound she feels sick with it, and she pretends it means nothing at all.

Noone cares enough to save her, and she thinks this might be what she deserves.

PLAYLIST . . .

ATHETOSIS // crywolf

oh, my love
i'll always come back to you
and oh, sweetheart
how long will you fight?

have to // blue kid

i'm not a genius, i don't pretend to be
i'm kind of mouthy, and i intend to be
and i'm a hot mess, there's no defending me
it's sweet assault and battery
so go ahead and bend to me

suck it up // REV

どうしてこれをつくったの
どうしてここまでほうっておいたの
どうしてこのこをうんだの
どうしてそこにうまれてしまったの
...
願望の奴隷に終いを
宙吊りの屍に合掌
悠久の魂に冥を
最低の犠牲者に愛を

no children // the mountain goats

i hope it stays dark forever
i hope the worst isn't over
and i hope you blink before i do
i hope i never get sober
...
i am drowning
there is no sign of land
you are coming down with me
hand in unlovable hand

heaven // civilian

because there's no gauge for the love we make
nothing's sacred when nothing's safe
i fear i've seen the final tide
of our prime wash into separate seas
...
nothing happens the way that it's supposed to
love doesn't care if you want to, it's going to move you
so lean in, because i want to breathe what you're breathing
i want to see my reflection, lovely and haunting--

parking lot // HUNNY

so sink into the floor with me, baby
stir crazy in a two-star town
if you're swimming in the sun, won't you take me?
won't you hold me close?
...
i should've kissed that girl in the parking lot
i never told her what i wanted to say
i could've cracked my head in a parking lot
you never know

sleepwalking // the chain gang of 1974

visions of better times
kingdoms and lilac wine
why did god fail to improve us?

broken // gorillaz

there's nothing you can do for them
they are the force between
when the sunlight is arising
there's nothing you can say to her
i am without a heart
and the space has been broken
TRIVIA . . .
  • her original hair colour is blonde! she dyed it black in high school, then alternated for a while before settling on her current look.
  • she has the news on almost 24/7; since she's quick to absorb information she's constantly aware of what's going on in the outside world (even if she doesn't participate)
  • she has gaps in her memory sometimes. she forgets a lot of her encounters with mercury. she pretends it doesn't bother her.
  • her father died a year after her own fake death; she couldn't go to the funeral.
DESIGN NOTES . . .
  • the sharp green/black claws, teeth and ears are body modifications she did herself. if you exaggerate these when you draw her i will love you forever
  • her eyes usually just glow faintly! they'll glow stronger (enough for minor eye damage) if she's experiencing strong emotions
  • she almost always has her goggles on! in public (although she doesn't go out much) she wears sunglasses. she takes them off around people she's close with (mercury)
  • feel free to draw her in/come up with alternate outfits!
OTHER OUTFITS . . .
code by hanyu