The past couple of years have been intermittently deplorable for me. While things were going well the beginning to mid 2018, at the end of the year, I was hit with curve ball after curve ball. I lost my job due to budget cuts at the school that I was working at and since then it was as if I was trapped in a pit with greased walls. I decided to go back to school in the midst of all of this to align myself with a direction. In 2019, I got jobs and lost jobs due to factors out of my control. The first one, I was attacked by a dog. The next, shafted me with scheduling by not giving me more than 2 hrs a week and then loaded me with responsibilities I wasn't trained for. The next had shady business practices that had me performing on an injured ankle and doing more than what my job description required of me in order to maintain a standard that was only applied to the hardest working while the slackers rode our coattails and got promotions.
A celebrity was partially responsible for me losing the job after that one, but that's hush hush. The CEOs decided to shut it down the day before Christmas with only a 48 hr heads up.
In 2019 I battled homelessness, depression, anxiety, car issues, health issues, and almost losing my dog.
On Thursday of last week, I got an email saying that the new job I was working--a job that strung me along for this position since November, a job that hit me up at the beginning of this month to come in to finally work--was letting me go because they could not afford me anymore.
I am so sick of corporate, capitalist America. I'm sick of the state of healthcare. I'm sick of how high living expenses are. And I am absolutely sick of the mantra that hard work is the proper path to happiness.
I have decided to take my happiness and stability into my own hands. I have always been independent, but now that will extend into my career as I take my artistry into the next level as my main source of income and life path. This road has been and will continue to be challenging between self doubt, anxiety, and being an unconventional form of work. But it has also been the most rewarding, consistent, fulfilling, invigorating part of my life. I would be stupid no to realize that there is something here for me. My path is a winding one, but not necessarily something I cannot tackle considering all that I've been through.
The communities I am in have supported me so much thus far and I am eternally grateful for that. I won't subject myself anymore to the doldrums of being productive so that someone else makes a dollar to my dimes. I don't want to be the best employee for a pat on the back anymore.
They can't afford me.
I'd like to return to Toyhou.se and other platforms depending on my follower base, but I'm not sure to what capacity just yet. I don't know that I have the drive to do adoptables frequently anymore. They had actually become a source of resentment due to some of the people I was involved with as well as some of the negativity within the community. Designing is still fun to me, but I have spent this time reclaiming it for myself and my ideas. I'd like to share my characters and my stories for the most part. I am expanding and I should not be afraid to share what I've made with the world.
Thank you to those who've stuck around and watched me grow and continue to.
My other stomping grounds are:
How is everyone?