In case I stop being active on here, I feel like people need to know what’s going on with me, because it’s not laziness. A lot of really bad things have been happening with my body physically, so if you are squeamish to tooth trauma / parasites / eating disorders you should stop reading as the following information will make you upset

Basically, my physical health has never been great. When I lived with my biological mother she would give me many medical issues for the sake of cosmetics; and many moons ago she fused two of my back teeth together. 

When I went to a dentist about my issues, they were honestly fucking confused but the teeth that were artificially fused together were breaking apart, and hence the filling that held them together was digging into my gums. Yeah, ouch. I went through surgery, then got fillings, and was given another hefty diagnosis of gingivitis. Eating anything is a painful ride for me. TLDR; I can’t eat. 

The above image is when my stupid ass who was completely numb and on whatever drugs they gave me for surgery was in the process of getting fillings. Please don’t ask why the fuck I took a selfie; I wish I knew. 

But this was a week ago. Fast forward to today. 

I own and or care for about ten cats overall. Some need my attention more often than others. My household did however recently adopt two more cats; one of which had Giardia. 

Note that I have been suffering from anorexia since I was 12 years old, and that physically being unable to eat was already a huge issue. Even after the surgery it is hard to consume anything, especially liquids. 

Now, I have contracted Giardia. Which makes everything ten times worse because my worst fucking fears are parasites. I have cried a lot today.

I will not die and I will receive treatment when it can be afforded; but this does not mean I will be completely stable physically. I will, and have, lose more weight because of this. I worry that I have become too thin to function; I cannot make it up a few flights of stairs without feeling like I will pass out, I cannot lift above 20 pounds, and disgustingly, all of my bones poke out from my body. 

I’m honestly scared. 

I’m sorry if I act moody, or have acted moody lately. I am trying to keep to myself best I can in terms of actual communication with others, so nobody is actively harmed because of my poor mood. 

I don’t actively feel sorry or remorse for most things at this time; when I do I will put out an apology towards those I may have wronged. 

Thanks for reading. Gods bless.