Giving my main hero flaws

Posted 5 years, 24 days ago (Edited 5 years, 24 days ago) by MistCat

The one major flaw he has is so dislikable I need to tone it down, but when I do, I feel like it's not enough. At the same time, I can't think of any flaws that fit his already set personality.

Vaughn is a disgraced ex-cop, who's on a mission to find out why he was fired when he refused to drop an important case.

Vaughn is an incredibly loyal, stubborn and well-meaning man. He's friendly and trusting despite the many events in his life that tell him he should be suspicious of everyone. He has a sense of duty, his family as far back as he can remember have all been cops, firefighters, military, and one distant cousin was a lawyer. He tries to be understanding, he is very affectionate and completely honest. He befriends a young man who is running away from a crime ring that his aunt runs. Actually, the case he refuses to drop is one about the aunt, and good old auntie pulled a few strings to get law enforcement to drop it, as she had a lot of money and a lot of friends.

His few flaws include, and here is the big one, being incredibly controlling. He thinks he knows what's best for his friends and refuses to let them get into any danger. He can act like a helicopter parent to all his close friends and family. One of the reasons he's so desperate to get back to his old rank is because he wants to have control again, to have control of his life. He won't physically force or harass anyone into listening to them, but will quickly shut down the conversation or dismiss them if they suggest they know what's best for themselves. He eventually overcomes this flaw when he allows his friend to go with him on their final mission at the end of the book, which was very important to his friend, as they felt like they needed to redeem himself and be a hero, since he had done terrible things in the crime ring.

However, almost everyone dislikes a controlling character. I've asked everyone I know, and honestly controlling is... pretty unsympathetic and intolerable as a flaw, which is why I toned it down. But I really can't think of any other vice that fits him.

His minor flaws include being a tad slow, never being the one to come up with the big ideas. He can come on a little strong to introverts who like their space, and he always wants to be around his friends, giving them hugs and patting their back, always being as close as possible. (I mean, I guess it's a flaw or a positive trait depending on who he's interacting with, but since I myself value space, I'm listing it as a flaw.) his stubborn, but that ties into his controlling behavior.

I think maybe this wouldn't be too bad/noticeable but compared to his friend, who is pretty much the co-star, he's a saint. His friend, Kalani, has a TON of flaws and problems, so I think it would make it even more noticeable that Vaughn has very, very few in comparison.

Any advice, criticism or just someone to talk to about writing would be amazing. I've only ever written short 500 - 3,000 word stories, so wanting to make a book out of this... is a big leap. I feel confident about almost all of my characters and the story, I'm just worried I'm going to mess it all up somehow. -Please pardon any spelling errors, it was 5 am when I started writing this and I'm very tired. :')

Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope you have a lovely day.

MasterShortpants

Something that I think helps with character development is to not think of character traits in terms of “flaws and virtues”, but as just that - Traits. It’s entirely possible for things you listed as positive qualities to become negative when the situation arises, after all. And the same could go for seemingly negative traits as well!

You mentioned your character is friendly, trusting, and loyal, despite his past experiences suggesting he perhaps shouldn’t be. While this can be a good thing, it could be a double edged sword as well - Who’s to say that the people he trusts have good intentions? What if he’s so loyal that he lets himself be blinded to others’ flaws and wrongdoings until there are severe consequences, because he trusted them so fully and was too stubborn to accept that that trust was misplaced? You also mentioned his honesty - Perhaps it could be a situation like Duck Newton from the Amnesty storyline of The Adventure Zone, where he struggles to tell lies and hide the truth in situations where being upfront about things could get him into trouble? Or perhaps he’s not simply honest, but also blunt, to the point of upsetting others and landing himself in hot water.

Another thing worth noting is that a character’s traits, especially flaws, should have relevance to the story - A character might be imperfect, but if those traits don’t come into play and cause resistance and tension, pushing back against a character and their goals, forcing them to develop and work past them or shift their way of doing things, it doesn’t mean much, if anything. Any traits you decide on for your character should come into play in your writing and plot, else they might as well not have been there at all.

Take these with a grain of salt, of course, as I don’t write much these days - Too busy - but hopefully that helps give you some ideas for how you could flesh out your characters! They’re pretty general things, but I feel like they’re useful things to keep in mind :0

MistCat

MasterShortpants

Thank you very much!

I don't usually think flaws and virtues, but I didn't know how else to word my post and felt it was easier to categorize.

That makes a lot of sense! He doesn't have many opportunities to trust people he shouldn't in the story that ends up not paying off, but that does give me a few ideas for some extra scenes that could also further the plot. He's honest but always phrases it gently, I'd love to have him be blunt, but that'd scare his friend off and that would be the end of the story/ Unfortunately. Kalani is an incredibly fickle character and he's only willing to put up with so much. Even if I made Vaughn being too blunt into an interesting conflict between the two, it'd be nearly impossible to get Kalani to open up more in the story, which is a very important part of the plot.

Near the end of the book, since Kalani has been such an influence on Vaughn, (not exactly a good one) Vaughn starts lying more, mostly to cover up some of the worst things Kalani had done while alive.

Thank you, I've tried to keep that in mind! You worded it well, and I'll probably be bookmarking this post to help me remember. Vaughn being controlling and a little slow-witted is the only incredibly relevant things that work against him in the story. Hm, one of his traits is patience... perhaps he could be a little too hesitant to move too quickly in investigations and needs to be under pressure to actually move forward? It's a good thought. Talking things out always seems to help me with character development, so I really appreciate your comment.

Thank you again, it did give me a few good ideas! Yes, they're very useful. :D

Solarizing

I think your writing & character development is good and your initial instincts are right. I am in the same boat with my protagonist, Agate. I just workshopped the first chapter of my book and ran into the "reader isn't invested/sympathetic to the character yet" problem: (Redacted for sensitive/mature theme: Agate is suicidal and compulsively self-destructive.) In in my case, making my character more "likable" would remove not only his primary inner conflict (how to value and save his life), but also how it parallels the overarching storyline (which is about a species trying to avoid an ethical crisis that will bring them to extinction.) Sometimes, and this may be in your case too, the negative trait and the inner conflict are so entwined that the inner conflict won't make sense if that character had more virtue. If my Agate were more likable, suddenly I'm writing a completely different story about a completely different character.

For me, Agate's story HAS to open on his negative, (sadly, apparently reader-repellant) trait (his suicide attempt) since it is ensuring his main inner conflict. This lays groundwork for the tone of the story, how his distress will impact his relationships, and then his entire species: one flaw in Agate starts snowballing into the story-wide plot. Plus: The story arc is all about how Agate's kind has to save others and make personal sacrifices, so Agate's inability to save himself while he's saving others feels like a satisfying irony to me. I want to write a story where a suicidal character is responsible for lives while denying the responsibility of his own.

Personally, I think Agate is justified in having his negative personality (I won't go into why), but I can understand why readers (who when picking up the story have no idea what they're getting into) could be immediately repelled by such an arrogant, destructive character on page 1. But it is good to remember that different readers are more empathetic to certain tropes, so maybe cast your reader net wider. Your character being controlling may not be an issue for some readers. For example, as a reader, I love/tolerate narcissist characters. I'm not a narcissist and have relational issues with the narcissists in my real life (it's really more a personality disorder than a personality, just as being controlling or being self-destructive is.) BUT, in fiction, I feel empathy towards these characters because I DO think all people deserve empathy, and fiction is a safe distance to study a problematic character from. I would read your story, personally, with or without a controlling protag. But I also want to agree with your betas/friends that you want the character, if not to be positive altogether, then to have his redeemable traits presented before the "unforgivable" traits.

As an author, the most important thing is getting the reader to turn pages. For me, having readers like the protag is essential, however I also feel like I can't change Agate's dark side without "ruining" my story. But really, when I got to thinking about it, I realized Agate is actually a lot of good things: altruistic, self-sacrificing, intelligent, resilient, conscientious, etc. Sometimes, as authors, we forget to step back and ask ourselves... why do I like my character? or, what part of me do I see in my character? I am not the arrogant, destructive mess that Agate is, however, I relate to his fear of death and how he surprises himself by being an overcomer. I wasn't giving him enough credit, therein was the issue! I'm sure Vaughn has a redeemable quality that simply is not being presented as a redeemable quality. (Meaning, you're not making clear enough that there is a way in the story he can overcome/redeem his controlling). Hence your readers aren't drawing the lines between why he is flawed and why we should root for him anyways. I think you're right to ask for critique and workshop this further, but I disagree with any of your betas who try to argue that a controlling character is unwritable, period.

*Edit: Oh wait, you haven't written the book yet? Then don't worry about it, first drafts can be changed later :) Just write on instinct and get a draft/outline finished before you worry about tweaking the character

MasterShortpants Fantastic advice! I totally agree

Weiland is awesome at this, much better than I am. I just finished this book of hers, you may enjoy it!: https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Character-Arcs-Masterful-Development-ebook/dp/B01M6VC68U