Sighs gently
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Spoiler Code: <div class="fr-spoiler">A spoiled vent.</div>
Help
I just hate nobody knowing who I am. It frustrates me to no end that only really me and my boyfriend end up seeing my art. I know nobody cares about OCs that arent CS, but it really kinda hurts to know that no matter what I do nobody will ever take notice of my art.
It makes me really want to give up sometimes.
It's ok to DM me about both things
I have a deadline for school work set in a couple of days and Idk if I'll be able to finish everything in time, quarantine made me lose lots of hours and now we have to recover all the useless time we spent at home without knowing what we had to do because my school was closed and they as well didn't know which course of action to take ://
Hhhhn I had to pause commissions as well because of this deadline and I don't want to make my customers who already paid wait longer than expected...
Also here's a more personal problem.
Also, I can't concentrate on anything because I keep feeling useless and miserable. I keep looking in the mirror and I hate what I always see. I don't like my looks, I'm so insecure and I can't even bring myself to exercise because of social anxiety (I absolutely hate and fear to be seen by anyone while I'm exercising). I hate it so much, I really hate it. It makes me cry, actually. I don't want to be perfect, I just want to have better looks and a better lifestyle. But I can't, because my anxiety keeps stopping me. And the stuff that people told me for 15+ years stops me as well, it's so saddening to remember when people called me ugly, fat, stupid, and so on. I know that most of these things aren't true (although I wasn't really the prettiest teenager back in the days) but they still get me. I still cry because of that. I really wish I had enough confidence and strength to finally act and exercise daily. Anxiety please, let me be healthier for once...
We’re a week into pride month and already I have seen so much vile shit about all aspects of my identity and I’m just,,, tired,,, At this point pride isn’t something I look forward to at all because I’m afraid to be open about who I am. And it sucks because when I first found the LGBT community and realised I wasn’t cis/het/allo it made me so much happier with myself. But recently the community feels more like LG, fuck everything else. And my trans bi ace ass is sitting here like. so I guess I just die then? Because cishets sure as hell don’t want me but I’m not gay enough for the mono/cis gays.