cradles the poor thumb of my dominant hand why is it hurting pls stop hurting i need to write & draw ;___ ; ) ...
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I can't be trusted to cook when I'm ill.
Thought I'd taken out all the oven trays, somehow managed to miss the biggest one still on the top shelf (also the shelf I needed), shoved my pizza in and wondered why the heck a load of smoke came out the oven and there was such a strong smell of burning.
Still trying to vent the kitchen a bit but at least my pizza is still edible. :'D
I promise I am not normally a disaster in the kitchen.
I also can't wait to be over this hell flu.
I wish my art was better.
I wish I had money.
I wish people would buy my art.
I wish I could afford to move out of my parents' home. They are driving me crazy. I'm 22, an ADULT, and they treat me like a kid. They took away my gaming pc and basically everything I own because I messed up. I have no money (they took that too) and I don't work enough hours to move out. I go to school as well and I just want to be able to support myself and then for people to let me do what I want to do.
I just want to change, mostly.
To elaborate from earlier...
I'm not sure what's going on. I have three friends in the area and they never respond to me anymore when I text or message them. They will message my fiance though. It used to be that they messaged both of us. Things are normal when we hand out but it still bugs me.
It's important stuff too. One of them is supposed to be moving in with us and he never replies when I ask him if he's finished turning things in and it's been a month long process at this point. My fiancé has to get in touch with him to get him to respond. All I can think is I fucked up somehow even though I'm haven't been hounding him. I didn't even get word of another friend's daughter's birthday party until they told my fiance and now it's too late for me to change my schedule. I just don't get it.
I feel like I can't do my job properly. I'm in line for a promotion but my nerves are screwing everything up. I can't please my manager. We're supposed to focus on helping out our guests, but when I do a simple thing to fix a problem, even when I know it's not breaking our rules, it wasn't right. Apparently, when we're out of a sale item and not getting anymore in, we're supposed to make the customer order it online and pay for shipping instead of getting one transferred to another store. There were two guests about to fight over an item. I'm not making one of them pay extra to get it as they watch the other customer get it for the sale price. But no, I was wrong.
I just want to give up. I had a dream that I knew I was going to die by my own hand.
My fiance isn't understanding that the money I have saved up is for moving. He gets mad if I tell him we can't put down X amount of money on large purchases because it will cut into the savings. He doesn't get it. I pay the most in bills and have little left over that isn't saved up. He wants to move so badly but thinks I make so much more than him. In reality, I'm making less because hours for everyone at my job have been docked.
I'm scared of what I'm going to do. I'm feeling like I'm being backed into a corner and getting ready to snap.