One of the first things people tend to find out about Tested is that their buttholes aren't canon. But why? What could have caused such a meme? And what else are they missing? Let's find out!
Tested are human in appearance, complete with typical anime human ranges of eye, skin, and hair color. The exception to this are the Oress Holders, who have colors that match that of their Oress, but that's a different post entirely! Provided they're fully clothed, the only tip that they're something unusual is that every Tested has X marks on the backs of their hands. These X marks look as though they've been carved onto their hands and do not respond to healing or other restorative forms of magic.
The basic difference of Tested is that they lack any features or functions Opine finds unnecessary and/or unpleasant. They lack any significant internal structure; beneath their skin is liquid soul. No organs, no bones, no muscle: the inside of their body is pure soul energy. The only structure they have is a crystallized chunk of soul that serves as a heart for the purposes of killing; it has no actual function. This leaves them exceedingly light, seldom weighing more than 20 pounds. There is no apparent mechanism that keeps them alive and functioning; they operate purely on soul energy and constantly regenerate any lost soul energy, making them a challenge to study. They have no biological basis in reality.
Opine's Request upon becoming one of Them was to "make the perfect game." This means she's been granted the ability to bend reality to her whims so long as she's doing so in a quest to create "the perfect game." As such, the Tested being an aberration to all known science is no surprise; the Tested exist and are capable of being alive in their anatomically minimalist state simply because Opine wanted them to exist.
Due to this, Tested require no maintenance to survive. They do not need to eat, drink, sleep, or exercise. They can exercise, but it won't make them any more muscular or fit. They can sleep and dream, but they only ever get tired due to physical exhaustion, mental exhaustion, or sleeping on a regular basis to create a habit. They may suffer if they don't sleep too long, but this is mostly due to the placebo effect; they expect that they need to sleep due to it still being normal in the Test Reality, so they can easily convince themselves that they'll get tired if they don't.
Tested lack any organs to digest consumed material. As such, after anything enters their body, their soul will eventually begin vibrating to break down the matter and incorporate it into itself as energy. This can be useful for replenishing soul energy: if a Tested eats or drinks small amounts when low on soul energy, their soul will convert it into additional soul energy. However, if they consume more than their soul can engulf - such as if they're on the verge of death and an inexperienced caretaker desperately slams healing potions down their throat - their soul will be drowned out and the Tested will die. But, more on death later!
The vibration of "digestion" is usually minor unless a Tested eats more than a light meal. The more a Tested ingests (or should they ingest more "intense" materials, such as alcohol in comparison to water,) the more intense the vibration will be. Stronger vibrations affect the ability of a Tested to function, leading to a state often compared to drunkenness. As their entire body begins to vibrate Tested typically become relaxed, losing any sense of self-preservation and becoming sluggish. They likewise tend to become "loopy" as their minds go numb, leading to often hilarious results. And also making it easier for fellow Tested to kill them during Competitions. It's happened before! It's not all fun and games and murder, though. Should a Tested digest too much, there are two primary consequences: soul overflow and excessive vibration.
Soul overflow occurs when too much is ingested in terms of quantity. More soul energy is created than can be held in by their body, leading to the Tested in question "bleeding" from all orifices, triggering vomiting should their body be unable to leak enough soul energy fast enough.
Excessive vibration occurs when too much is ingested in terms of quality/potency. Their soul goes into overdrive trying to vibrate at a frequency high enough to incorporate the ingested material. This causes hallucinations which are, in truth, cognizance of higher beings only made visible by the Tested suddenly existing on a higher soul frequency. The soul will eventually vibrate so hard that it begins to dissolve the flesh, but will remain cohesive enough for the Tested to exist without it, resulting in a body made entirely of soul energy. Of course by that point its impossible for the Tested to take any possible advantage of that; should the soul reach that frequency, the Tested will lose all sense of self and instead resonate with the baseline vibration of Entirety, resulting in a oneness with Entirety that lasts until the vibration slows down again or the Tested is killed. The latter is extremely difficult, however, thanks to souls of that level being unbearable for most beings to exist around. Think of it much like a fire: eventually a fire grows to the point where it's no longer plausible for it to be put out even with massive firefighting efforts, requiring it to be contained at best and avoided until it burns itself out.
Tested can be killed by excessive consumption; quality can dilute a Tested's soul, and it's even that a Tested's soul will vibrate so hard that their "heart" cracks under the pressure, resulting in death.
The digestion process does not occur when a Tested ingests inorganic material, like metal or plastic. This means it's possible for Tested to store things within their body for later use, such as weaponry or keys. They need not swallow the materials in question, either; so long as a healer is nearby a Tested could easily be sliced open and then healed over to conceal large objects. Yes, people have taken advantage of this.
Missing Pieces & Default State
Tested aren't just missing things on the inside! They're missing quite a few corresponding bits on the outside as well. Tested essentially have Barbie doll anatomy: no genitalia, no nipples, no navels, and, no, their buttholes are not canon. They additionally do not grow body hair, nor do they develop acne, scars, or any other form of blemish. Their hair and nails do not grow beyond their "default" point: their official design as declared by Opine.
The concept of a "default" form means that a Tested's body will always be in an attempt to return to its default stage. They only age up to the point Opine has planned for them; though there is some variance in age, everyone ages up to at least adulthood but never appears physically older than their 30s. They cannot gain or lose weight, nor can they gain or lose muscle. They also cannot tan their skin. If they cut their hair, it will regrow to its intended length within a day or two. Their hair will never grow out to be longer than it is. If they use magic, surgical, or other medical means to alter their body, their body will still revert back to its default state within a few days.
This is, in fact, how their healing factor works. Tested heal quickly, not because their body is fixing the damage but because their soul is essentially recreating its body. Think of it as something akin to a system restore: you're not fixing the problem, you're going back to right before it happened and then chronologically progressing from there without harming any of your documents or files (like memories and personality.) Because of this, Tested can naturally recover from things other beings cannot without outside aid, such as transmogrification, petrification, and dismemberment. It's impossible to inflict anything permanent on a Tested; the closest you can get is repeatedly reapplying a spell or re-inflicting an injury. It's also possible to block the recovery of, for example, a limb by physically covering the wound so that it has no room to re-grow, but as soon as the obstruction is removed healing is resumed.
Means that don't physically alter a Tested body can serve as "permanent" solutions, though obviously these have their limits and flaws. They can "change" their eye color by wearing contacts, they can "change" their hair by wearing a wig, etc.
The "default" state also applies in more unusual ways. Each Tested has their own unique scent that they resist change to and quickly snap back to, even after extended combat, contact with unsavory substances, etc. They resist any buildup of grime in general, in fact; a Tested could never take a shower in their life and still be fresh as a spring daisy every day. Should someone push them in a mud puddle they might have the desire to, but if they waited a couple of hours it'll have all magically sloughed off. Lesser known is that this effect also applies to the clothing they're wearing at the time; tears will slowly repair themselves and the clothing will slowly clean itself just like the rest of their body. This is because the Tested's design as a whole is considered their default; clothing is essentially considered part of the body by the soul because Opine doesn't really want to watch people doing laundry or sewing their clothes back together when they could be murdering each other. This won't happen should they remove the clothing, though, even if they put it back on afterward. Fortunately, Opine's made sure that their closets are stocked full of their "default" outfit. Hooray...?
Tested anatomy is what it is because the Tested are essentially Opine's OCs; there are certain activities she finds tedious and/or unpleasant, so she's optimized Tested to not require most of what normal people do while still seeming and acting human on the surface. However, lacking internal anatomy should make various things impossible, such as crying, blushing, etc. Despite this, Tested are capable of many cosmetic biological functions. They can blush and grow pale despite the lack of veins, though they'll blush in the color of their underlying soul. You might see a bead of sweat roll down their face, but it'll evaporate instantly and they'll be completely dry and pristine. They can cry, but it'll be a beautiful pristine cry like in the movies. You won't feel a pulse when you grab their wrist, but you can hear a heartbeat in their chest despite lacking a heart that does any such thing.
Examining a Tested is an ordeal, as they often lack features until "the plot demands it," however minor or abstract that phrase may apply. For instance, if you looked down a Tested's throat their neck would clearly not be filled with soul juice. Jab 'em there, though, and it all pours out. If you stab them they should leak profusely like a juice box, but in fact they'll only bleed at the pace a normal human would. This applies to more than stabbing, of course. A more mild example is that Tested don't produce saliva by default, but they'll suddenly have just as much as they need to lick an stamp or eat without it being an uncomfortably sandpapery experience.
The healing factor is notably esoteric, based mostly on what Opine subconsciously prefers and sometimes as a result of direct interference. For example, a missing limb will likely heal faster than an eye because Opine thinks eyepatches are cool. If a Competition is ongoing and she's therefore directly observing the Tested, she might make one character heal more slowly to nerf them or make another character heal very quickly because she wants them back in action.
Much of how Tested work is based off of what's cool, convenient, or feels right; for example, Tested heal faster when sleeping, even moreso if no one is observing them to witness the healing process. They also heal faster during combat than they do when they're out of the heat of battle, and they'll heal even more quickly if they're determined to push through it. Tested can even cheat through normally-fatal injuries if their soul senses the situation is sufficiently dramatic as determined by the rules Opine has instilled in them.
On the note of fatality, however...
Tested are far more difficult to kill than a human being. There are 5 ways to do so:
1) Blood loss or, rather, soul loss. If too much of a Tested's soul leaves their body before it can regenerate, the Tested will die.
2) Destruction of the head, or enough damage done to it that Opine would consider it death-worthy.
3) Injury to the "heart" or removal of it.
4) Sufficient destruction of the body even if it doesn't release much soul, such as immolation or crushing.
5) Miscellaneous methods of death Opine declares possible.
Tested do not fall ill; they can suffer from soul-based diseases, but those don't exist within the Test Reality. Death is typically instant beyond blood loss, but often in cases of the heart Tested can hold on long enough to do something dramatic or mutter one last line. When a Tested dies their body dissolves into glittering dust the same color as their soul, dissipating into the air and fading from existence. Any dislocated body parts will dissolve at the same time, though detached clothing will not. Similarly, any clothing and accessories will dissolve. All Tested souls go to Limbo, but that's straying a bit from the subject of anatomy! Just know that they get plopped back into the Test Reality or wherever else the plot demands pretty effortlessly, so death is hardly permanent.
The 5th method of killing is abstract, but falls under the typical rule of "does Opine think that would kill them? Then it does!" For example, Tested lack lungs, so inhaling and exhaling is simply a thing they do as part of Opine's stylistic guidelines. They can breathe in vacuums and chemically hostile environments, and likewise won't run out of air in sealed spaces. However, they'll still die if someone strangles them long enough because Opine finds that personal and brutal enough to be a suitable death in the Competition. Another exception is drowning, though admittedly not because of breathing. Inhaling water can very easily lead to soul displacement; think of what would happen to a glass of milk if you dunked it underwater. Yeah. Needless to say, soul loss is easy to achieve underwater.
Another weird spot is poisoning. Opine has no idea what exactly is poisoning, and the thing about poisons is that they often have specific effects that involve the failure of specific organs and functions. Tested lack most of them, so she isn't terribly sure what to make poison do to them despite having created an Oress that grants the user power over poison. If something is specifically declared to be poison or is a poison people typically recognize the name of (like cyanide or arsenic) then it will end up causing nausea, dizziness, full-body pain, and excess soul vibration targeted on the heart.
However, a murderer might fill their tea with poison... and watch it have no effect, because the soul isn't "programmed" to recognize that as a fatal substance. It might still cause excess soul vibration as strong alcohols tend to do, but likely not to the point of death as intended. This has a more sinister loophole, however, and one that just about everyone aside from Opine herself is unaware of due to poisoning rarely being attempted in the Test Reality: if someone tells a Tested they just ingested poison and the Tested believes them, their soul will immediately freak out and respond as though they were actually poisoned. Likewise, the soul will stop freaking out and digest the substance normally if they're convinced they've been given an antidote, even if they were just given different flavors of juice in each case. It's fun! If anyone ever even figures out that trick, anyway. Opine's kind of tried to avoid that.
Something to note is that "invisible" hazards don't effect them, once again due to the lack of lungs and a respiratory system in general. Essentially, this means that gases and radiation have absolutely zero effect on them. An explosion that released them? Sure. But said hazards themselves? Nothing. Tested don't even have a way of detecting them. Any smoke bombs they'll assume were just used to serve as a smokescreen. They could camp on a nuclear test site and be none the worse for wear. Opine didn't explicitly include any ways to die by those means, so she never "programmed" the Tested's souls to have a reaction to them.
First and foremost, note that the frequent mention of Opine doesn't mean she's actively observing the Tested at all times and controlling what happens to them. In fact, she really only watches them at all during Competitions. The rules of "because Opine said so" apply on a basic soul level, based on Opine's knowledge and desires at the time she was creating the Tested and any subsequent tweaks she's made since.
The rest of this section is just for misc. stuff that people ask and I edit in or that I realize I didn't address and don't know where to fit it in.
- If other realities knew about Tested, they'd be a pretty hot commodity. Purely soul-based beings like them are fairly rare, especially given the high quality of their soul, the massive size of their souls, and their infinitely regenerative capabilities. Dicro makes fuckin BANK at Hell College lemme tell you
- Tested can petition Opine for changes or to be exempt from Tested anatomy, it's just really doubtful that she'll grant requests, especially the latter. They don't really even think to try in the first place, but most people don't really think about begging their stubborn jerkwad god for permission to grow out their hair a little. Poice and Seraye - the only two Tested to be Promoted - have been granted exemption thanks to said Promotions giving them more freedom from Opine. So, do either of them canonically choose to have buttholes?? That's personal, dude. Geez.
Q. why won't opine let the tested fuck! ~ all of u fuckers im sure. not rly. but fanthyxion exists and so does dicro so the question must be raised (nsfw)
because opine thinks sex is sinful and icky so she doesnt want her ocs (who have free will and are fully realized human beings independent of her desires or conscious) to bone. esp not in her reality. tho in fairness would you wanna fuck in the test reality anyway when opine and all of Them are probably tuned in at any given time. (don't answer that question or bonnie will slam your door open, kinkshaming you instantly)
In fairness though Tested can fuck!! Like c'mon guys they got a lot of good bits still, use your brain a little!! They can vibrate for God's sake and all you have to do is make them drink some apple juice!!!! In fairer fairness, though, it's not really a thing they tend to do much. In fact, the vast majority of Tested have no idea what sex is at all considering the Oress Holders are missing all of their pre-Tested memories. That isn't to say they never experience arousal or sexual urges, they just don't really know how to parse them nor what to do with them since they haven't been given the vocabulary to communicate that desire. They're basically a bunch of hot anime adults who never got sex ed so they feel like sheltered, repressed teenagers at best if it's something they think about it at all. Like someone give them a textbook or something or in 50 years they're gonna think sex is eating a bunch of cupcakes and- actually u know what that basically is sex nvm
Real talk though Dicro is probably the only Tested who's ever actually fucked. Maybe Unzeh and Kleigh and that's cheating because Kleigh's Oress grants him knowledge of what a fuck is. I think Arode and Aelle drink some milk and hold hands sometimes while shyly not looking each other in the eye and that rly gets 'em hot, that's what they think sex is. Don't go to the Test Reality if you wanna have a hot time. Like they would see a genital and be like "OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT ARE YOU OKAY?!" can you even imagine
well that's my story
actually guindet knows what a fuck is too and probably offers to hook people up with these genital things he saw in the seedy part of the mall but do you REALLY want to make a deal with fuckin guindet. i think not. maybe people do though. terrifying thought.
more stuff coming whenever i get asked/think of stuff i want to add or forgot to put in etc. yes this means you can comment below or wherever to ask a sick question!!