Is there a limit to the number of characters we can post? I have two that I would like some feedback on design-wise!
Hi hi, I thought since I have experience in peer critique spaces that I could have some mini crits with the people here on Toyhouse who may have not had an opportunity to before.
Basically, just leave a character you'd like to talk about the design of below. I will be reading any profiles attached since story and design go hand in hand. And just generally tell me what you're going for with them and hopefully, I can give out some helpful advice. I'm also cool with general art questions if you have em.
Also, note I'm gonna be doing this literally how me and my classmates do it for class which is generally like "hey I like this, this I would've maybe done like this, have you seen this artist/movie/painting/ect?" So this is just a very laid back kind of critique space for anyone to be in
Clarifying that this is a DESIGN crit and not a story/writing crit, I might make a separate thread for that sometime later but for now, that is the focus of this thread
This is Venus! Her story is set in 2014 LA and is mostly based around the moral difficulties and emotional distress that come with fame and wealth. Venus is a aerial performer for a big prestigious circus! She’s super popular not only from that but in highschool she had a popular vlog so she’s got a lot of eyes on her (both of her parents have significant social status aswell) She’s a bit superficial but that’s because she had everything handed to her on a platter, she doesn’t think herself as higher or better then everyone she just has unrealistic expectations for the world and that’s the whole point of her story is her understanding there are consequences to her actions that she needs to own up I’m trying to put more swan lake imagery in her storyline cause I took heavy inspiration from black swan for her arc!
Oof I don't know how to even start hah, I never had a opportunity for something like this before so this is cool of you.
Soooo I have this character Žimer
With him I wanted to go for a guy who wanted more power and strength while also being more feared by the others so he put a spell on himself which made him more powerful, intimidating and stronger indeed, but at the same time made him into a more feral than human undead nightmare eating weirdo with a weird diet.
Yea he wasn't a nice guy before, but after the spell he is now VERY not nice due to the spell and power he got,, and he doesn't care.
Soo if you want, you can check out his design and profile and tell me what ya think about it-
I feel like his backstory is lacking something, but I don't want his backstory to be tooo big.
Edit: Woops, I misread, I thought you will also be talking about character's info, not only design, my bad yo
Thank you!
So first up is Asar: he’s an akh of a pharaoh from Ancient Egypt who is currently wandering around in modern day. He has a preference for the finer things in life due to his upbringing, so he wears a lot of suits (and other fancy-looking garments) as a result. The guy is actually in the middle of a redesign (e.g., gave him a new suit), but especially with his hair! I’m thinking about switching his afro(?) for dreadlocks that are vaguely shaped like a nemes headdress, so something like this. The ‘hair ornament’ on the back of his head will be exchangeable, too! I’m mainly going for someone who looks rich yet affable, and I wanted to have modernized, small references to Ancient Egypt that isn’t the usual white outfit with gold, blue, green and red with eyeliner.
There’s also Tannin, who is my own interpretation of the concept of fear. Because of that, they’re gangly and a bit sickly looking with their pale, green-ish skin, discolored sclera, and long limbs. However, they’re also a reinterpretation of the entity of the same name-sake: a being that has been described as a sea monster/serpent, amongst other things. In addition, the name itself has been proposed to be derived from the geminate root tnn, which means “to smoke” or “the ascension of smoke.” These are basically the reasons why they look a bit ‘fishy’ and have a recurring fish and smoke motif (e.g., the ’hair’, eyebrows shaped like fish, the tobacco pipe, the sleeve pattern)! I guess in the end I’m mainly aiming for a design that subtly incorporates the above information, yet also allows them to swing between looking pathetic and looking frightening. For clothing, I was going for something that was flow-y or could otherwise be used for dramatics as they moved, if that makes sense?
Basically, for both characters, their primary outfits were supposed to reflect their personalities ;7;
i've been thinking of giving him a slight redesign as of late to kinda commemorate having him around for a year, so here's my little guy saiph!!
for his design, i wanted to make it likeee simple enough to be translated well into a simple ps1 model; the kind you'd see in the game he's based on :) his more loose clothes kinda take advantage of the low-poly kind of look + the fact that he's just pretty small even for his kind, and his outfit in general's based on the kind of clothing his kind wears often; hence the maroon bits and the cropped top :) generally with these kinds of limitations in mind, i wanted to create a cute, protagonistic character with a kind of unexpected air about him in the end; not everything's really apparent in his design, and that's intentional on my part!
he's a bit of an adventurous kind, having gone off from his village to seek out what he thought would be a better life. however, held at the whims of a cursed entity, he often has to restrain himself from doing things or act on his "instincts". basically, if that blue stone in his necklace / brooch goes to a more red color, he gets a lot more hesitant and flighty. he's not bigger than life, but he isn't a complete shut-in, either, holding his own kind of innocence amongst all the admittedly pretty tragic stuff going on with him
ig in the end, i really want to show more of his personality + a tiiiny little hint of his roots in his design with hardware limitations in mind :) i'd appreciate any pointers if this info suffices!
I feel like you have the energy you were going for her coming out nicely through her look. Though, her main outfits are reading more of mid-2000s rather than 2014; which is honestly fine, since of course, everyone has their own thing (and I have a love for the look myself lol). But yhea def invoking that Legally Blonde-Mean Girls-Jennifer's body rich/popular gal aesthetic. I personally wouldn't change her but if you wanted more of the 2010's look, magazines are the best to look at. Looking up something like "Vogue Magazine 2014" will get you better results than Pinterest or Google images since dates on things tend to be a bit off.
Now the circus aspect I take special interest in since that is my thing. I think her outfit for that is beautiful, I'd just be careful with skirts for aerial artists cuz usually lots of leg movement needs to be possible. Generally, think of detaching elements if you want bigger/heavier skirts or you can still go long but use sheer fabrics. If you ever make more outfits you should check out some of the Cirque du Soleil ariel acts. I think Amaluna, Alegria, and its remake show, In a New Light, would be good to look at.
For the Swan lake elements, there's definitely a lot you can work with visually. Lots of ballet bodices can easily be converted into tank tops since most of them have that V-cut that was also trendy in the 2000s. Possibly changing the tattoo on her arms to feathers (though I know that is seen as the blandest choice for a tattoo to a lot of people; I already think the tentacles already look sick as hell and can work for that visual feeling of "gabbing" so many peoples attention). Jewelry is also another element to play with. So there's a few ideas for that.
All In all great work my dude! :0)
I'ma be honest and say and this guy put me in sort of a puzzle. I am mostly going off the first ref of him mostly for this. Right off the bat, I don't think his look conveys that he's gained a great deal of strength, more of the inverse given how boney he is. Along with that, the head feels especially top-heavy, like I can see it working but then the horns come in and I wonder how he's able to hold his head up. Which also harkens back to the vibe that he looks visually frail. I'd maybe suggest re-routing the power gain to direct magical abilities being enhanced and focusing on primarily using magic for fighting. HOWEVER, I can see he's quite the physical aggressor tho so I can see if the power gain completely negates all the physical disadvantages. It's fantasy you can literally do whatever you think is the coolest and I highly encourage it since I do personally think he looks cool, I enjoy it when characters have interesting limbs or other features that give them a distinct silhouette like that.
He's a bit hard to read visually without getting up close. From afar, on the main image, it's almost like he has two heads bc the shape of the tail and the head-neck are the exact same on a simple shape scale (both Vs on a noodle). So the tail is pulling away from the face, though this doesn't seem to be an issue in other images. It took me a second to realize that he's not mechanical and that he was in fact wearing clothes because they're that tight to his body. Generally an easy fix just by adding more volume to the clothes that already are on him, like how his hood sits away from his head.
So in general he looks cool as is, but if you were to change anything I'd say more volume in the clothes, that will also help tie the texture of the head being more rounded (hood and beard) back down into the body. Maybe angle the tail V horizontal so it has some difference from the head (It can still flick up to the same position anyways). And that wraps that up.
For Asar I think his look is pretty solid as is. I don't think I have much to say about him. Don't be afraid to use those colors since just generally thematically white, blue, and gold are kinda the signature colors most people associate with Egypt so its an easy way for onlookers to quickly connect that to him before all the hard to see details like the palm patters and scarab hairpin. I think the locks would look nice, even braids could work for the same style, all up to you. I think the new suit looks great too. This article has some modern linen suit brands which might be fun to look into since that's a good fabric for the climate.
And I don't have much to say about Tannin either, they fit their theme nicely, very much love the fins for hair. If anything, since you say their human form comes off as timid and closed off I would cover their chest to visually have them more closed off to the world. Basically, just close their top up a bit more and there ya go.
But yhea I can tell you took a lot of time to research and invest in them so they're both rather solid dudes
Aaa thank you for the feedback! Yeah, both OC’s ended up as mini research projects because I often fall down the academic rabbit hole, haha. I’m glad you think they’re both solid, though!
I think I still need to do some more research on the difference between braids and dreads then, but I’ll definitely check out the website you linked for Asar! As for Tannin, yeah…I might close up that chest area a bit more. I think I left it so open because it looked more flamboyant(?) when they weren’t trying to act like a pathetic worm. Or maybe I’ll close it up to something like Howl Pendragon’s blouse top for their 100% human form as opposed to the humanoid one 🤔