📝 Favourite Written Work From The User Above!

PicklePantry

As much as I'd love to pick one of your joke fanfictions, because you are absolutely too good at imitating that particular fanfiction.net style; or any of your funny stories, because they're all brilliant and hilarious; or one of your sweet ones, like "Proposal"; or "A Heart to Heart Talk" because I love the character development; or "Disco Fever" because that disco ball monster absolutely kills me and I love it... (you're super versatile, by the way, and that's what I love about your writing!) I keep coming back to "A Fate Worse Than Death."

I'm not normally a person who's into gore and horror, and even if it sort of pains me to read it again for this post (no knock on the story's merits-- I have a hard time even watching medical or detective shows), that story has stuck with me since I read it; it's truly horrifying in a psychological way. You describe Jacob's situation so viscerally and frantically; I can feel his panic and dread, the horror of his unending existence, and how his desperate hunger makes him throw aside his misgivings. Cameron is truly terrifying in this; that smooth, calm, in control cruelty and psychopathy. You know he's not being kind to Jacob but you read along trying to decide exactly how the other shoe will drop.

The atmosphere and tension is perfect, and I love how you didn't need many words to tell such a complete and polished story-- in short, this is just so well done; a great work of horror.

Hey there, this response is super late-- I didn't quite know what to say, but I just wanted to tell you how much your comment meant to me :') Thank you so much, sincerely.

Travesty and Triumph was a riot. I genuinely loved the stark differences between Caesar and Dominous, and everything else was just hilarious. Bravo, you've created a masterpiece! The ending was artful and I'll never forget it.

The best line, in my opinion, without context: "The feline’s face breaks down the middle, and as it falls face first, intricate cracks run through simple, English text."

It was difficult to decide, but my favorite is "A Snapshot of Life on Kinesis". First of all, and nonspecifically to this piece, I love your writing style: you have a great ear for voices, expertly switching from the flowery language of your divine characters to the more practical, casual, or crude language of the others, and I love the tight precision of your words and descriptions. 

This particular piece I chose because it has such a compelling contrast of both: here's Karthal, the relatable family man, terrified by his superior, bored in the office, and caring about nothing grander than the structural integrity of the framed photo of the family he hasn't seen in years, and here's Cam... being Cam, obscure, intimidating, and incredibly alarming. Does he sympathize with Karthal, is he genuinely interested in his anecdote about his wife, is he toying with him, does he actually understand? Karthal is relatable and the reader can put their self in his shoes as they read the piece, this guy just trying to escape this encounter without saying the wrong thing, when he depends so much on this job to feed his beloved family.

And then, of course, there's the end: this terrifying climax followed by Jennis barging in, treating Cam like an actual child and manhandling him away like a misbehaving puppy that needs to go back in its kennel. It's funny, first of all, but for the piece it's a great contrast to end it, Jennis's plain and no-nonsense language and and tough but not unkind actions coming to break up the party, and it's satisfying to wrap up Karthal's wonderings about whether Cam counts as a child by revealing... that he's literally right, but that the Luminary does sincerely care a great deal. Overall, this was a pleasure to read, and I really enjoyed the way you structured it.

Ohhh, I looked through some stories and I have to say, I love your writing! I'll definitely take a look at more stories later, but right now my pick is MJ's House of Clones! Now, I'm always a fan of keeping words short. It's possible to move the direction of a story and keep a good flow without spending a paragraph or two on description and/or metaphors. And you nailed that, you absolutely nailed that. I love these short paragraphs and sentences, each one is an excellent transition to the next, or they set up the next line for a powerful punch.

“Yeah, how's that going to happen?” Hollie demanded.

“I don't know,” Canh replied.

“Thanks, doctor,” Hollie said.

“You're welcome,” Canh said, walking out the door.

This was not ideal.

Look at that. That last line is absolutely KILLER. I spent a good few minutes grinning and chuckling at that. And it brings me to the next point, the characters. Each one has their own blatant personality that's instantly recognized upon reading the first few lines of dialogue they have. Each person is powerful in their archetype and when they talk to each other there's such a perfect interaction. These characters are so different from each other that not only are they complimentary in dialogue, but it shows a lot of skill you have as a writer, being able to switch personalities and styles so quickly.

“Mom?”
“Yes?” 

“… Did I have a dad?”

Sara sighed.

“You did,” she said. “But I forgot his name.”

So forgetfulness ran in the family.

God.
The story started so silly at first! Silly, tense, driven. Then you suckerpunched me with a soft, tender moment! Meeting the mother after six years but still not remembering? Seeing that picture with the line written on it? Then that question, and that line "forgetfulness ran in the family". Goddd, that hit deep. I absolutely loved that. I loved how the silly scenario connected in that moment and in just one, simple line. Just six words and it was powerful.

This was an excellent story! It had so many emotions, so many scenery changes, so many characters. There was so much but they all blended together beautifully and was wrapped up in excellent writing. I can't praise this enough, I absolutely loved every bit of this!

Aaaahhh! Thank you so much, that means so much to me!

timeandtimor Claim!

edit: I'm sorry, something came up and I have to finish this in the morning. I won't forget!

I'm so sorry that took so long! I was unexpectedly busy after claiming you, and I didn't want to rush looking through your writing. I really enjoyed reading your pieces-- I think my favorites were "Falling," "Cigarette Daydreams," "Come Hell or High Water," "Peonies," "Character Study,"  and "Knocked Senseless," especially the last three. It's hard to pick a single favorite-- they're each compelling for different reasons.

"Character Study" is such a short, sweet little thing and I really admire the economy. It's just a tiny moment and it doesn't need to be anything more, but this simple encounter tells me so much about Adrian as a character and how important his sister was to him, and I love that-- there's elegance in that. It's sweet how this little girl's innocent observation brought all those memories back to him, and how he instantly saw the girl in a protective, big-brotherly way: it's a selfless sort of reminiscence. He doesn't know the girl at all, but he immediately is concerned for her like she were his sister, and that says a lot about what kind of person he is and how much he loved his sister.

"Peonies" I loved for the conceit-- the whole thing is framed around the forgotten vase in Shizue's room and how he feels like it parallels himself, useless and unloved, and I like that; it's a unique and compelling device. You write his mental state very well, all his thoughts as he stares at the vase, unable to avoid seeing it but also unable to make himself do something about it. I felt for him, and I was rooting for him both to get some flowers and to get some TLC himself. His surprise and disbelief in Wisteria's visit and concern is sad-- but it was sweet to see that Shizue was wrong and that someone does care for him. The piece has a nice flow that allows the reader to follow along with Shizue's isolation up to the realization that he isn't isolated after all, and I just enjoyed it.

"Knocked Senseless" is the longest of the pieces I liked best, though, so I suppose if I'm picking one favorite, I'll go with that one. It's such a classic teenage/young adult adventure, daring someone to go in the local haunted house, but it's written with a lot of unique flavor, suspense, and character study that make it compelling. Even with the mutant setting, everything felt very relatable and real: I didn't believe Dahlia really meant to hurt Marcus, and even if I don't share all the fears Marcus has, his mental state was written so well that anyone could feel his dread and terror right alongside him. There were little bits of humor mixed into the horror setting, and I really like that-- it's realistic; everyone's mind wanders even when they're afraid. I loved these little things, like Marcus being concerned "someone could have died in there" while it's the apocalypse seems very funny, or his concern about the cobwebs messing up his nice hair, or his fixation on the idea of mutated mice and whether or not he could take them on. You wrote a really good progression from his initial apprehension but agreeableness to do this dare, to his claustrophobic fear of being shut in the house, to rallying his bravery to actually explore the house and prove himself to Dahlia (I loved his "I am not scared" mantra-- I was proud of him for actually checking out all those creepy rooms upstairs! I don't know if I would have gone in the room with scratches at the door and noises coming from inside, but I have to give him kudos for the courage to do that), to the real fear he experiences when he finds out that there really is a monster in this house, and how that panic, realistically, makes him hurt himself and makes the situation worse. You wrote the monster so well, too-- it came across as horrible and revolting, not an evil beast but something mindless and unyielding, and that's often even scarier. Bless Dahlia for saving him in the end-- that last paragraph stayed with me the most, her regret for doing something that she thought would have been good for her friend, but hurt him in more than just a physical way. That's why I liked this piece perhaps the best: you used this common story setup to tell a story that's not really about a haunted house at all.