massive TW for grooming, exploitation of a minor, mention of sexual assault, and general talk of NSFW topics. stay safe.
i hate doing this kinda shit and i have done my absolute best to keep this issue private until now. i'm really really scared of what's gonna happen when i post this, but i want to break my silence on some of the shit that happened to me when i was 14-16.
this is all going to be about @coldioc.
just saying this ahead of time: any censored blocks that aren't otherwise specified are my deadname that i'm not comfortable sharing.
grooming
when he confessed to me, i was 14 and he was 17. i had just gotten away from someone who sexually assaulted me, and he was fully aware of this. he confessed his kinks and fetishes first, then confessed romantically. i was in a very vulnerable state, and i was very young and stupid.
i won't get into the personal gripes of our relationship, there were issues on both sides and i'm by no means innocent. but i had his fetish pushed onto me despite me making it clear it made me uncomfortable. on top of that he said multiple times there was nothing wrong with our age gap because "there's nothing sexual between us", despite making NSFW content of ourselves and regularly talking about NSFW subjects. he also said so many times that "i'm very mature for my age, i forget you're so young"
this is him talking still, just an extension of what he was saying:
us talking about how i thought it was weird that he confessed his kinks first before confessing romantically
other gross shit
him saying he doesn't care if people ship incest
him using a character he knew i used to vent my sexual trauma in a fetish work
him leaving up vent art of said character that was clearly about my sexual trauma (spoilering this bc it may be triggering, it's not graphic but the text can be uncomfortable and the subject matter is clear) and yet he uses this character for NSFW things too lol.
him saying i victimize myself (knowing i'm an abuse and sexual assault victim) and claiming i'm bad when he was... literally grooming me (not saying i wasn't a shit person back then but. i think you get my point)
deadnaming
once we broke up, there was an incident on artfight where i was accused of OC theft. i had to talk to a senior moderator and another moderator, who is an ex friend.
to my ex friend, the entire time they talked, he would deadname me despite being corrected every couple of sentences. and yet to the senior moderator he would use the right name with no problems. so he made the deliberate decision to deadname me despite knowing i'd changed my name. i don't have screenshots of this at the moment because i'm not in contact w my ex friend, but if needed i can try to get them.
this is also really funny because he did not want me to change my name despite it getting me misgendered all the time, and wanting to go by a more masc name. it's just fucking weird. i can't find screenshots of this but we had an entire conversation about how i wanted to change my name and he didn't want me to for x y z reason.
current day shit
the main reason i'm doing this now is i just found out he has my NFSW art that i drew when i was 15 years old public on his toyhouse. he knows it's there - he actively uses the characters and sorted the art into tabs - and he is fully aware i drew it when i was 15.
i wanted to keep all this private, but that crosses a line. i don't even keep my current NSFW art public, much less the shit i drew when i was 15. i feel disgusting and violated and this has crossed a line. i'm not linking it because i don't want it public, but i'm going to submit a toyhouse ticket.
i will post this, where you can see the NSFW that i drew has been up since 2017, when i would've been 15 years old. (censoring the characters because i don't want people to go looking for my NSFW) cathoodiess is my old deviantart username, i didn't have toyhouse at the time.
please do not attack him. please do not ask questions or poke and prod at the situation. i just need to get this out there and warn people because he is a predator and a gross person, and i'm not the only minor who he has talked about fetishes and NSFW things with.
maybe some of his opinions have changed now (such as the incest thing), but grooming a 14 year old abuse and sexual assault victim is unforgivable and i don't believe he deserves a platform. i know this is old, but i think people deserve to know what kind of person he really is.
i apologize, i thought it was allowed since i’ve seen PSAs about cub/loli/shota stuff in this forum. unfortunately toyhouse is the only place i have even a remotely substantial following (the twitter thread only has like 5 retweets bc i have like 200 followers) so i’ve been trying to make it more prominent on here.
should i delete the post? i genuinely don’t know
I am so sorry this happened to you! I've reported and blocked them.
I would also try to report the nsfw images themselves if you can, I know its hard to look at them but It would be easier to get off of the site that way.
Hello, im a friend of the accused, and was also a friend of yours, and I'd just like to say, not to downplay any harm you went through but a lot of stuff seems to be kinda skewed? Before anything, i want to say i was not asked to make this post. I'm making it of my own decision. I'd like to point out that as far as i know, there was never any communication that you wanted the NSFW/vent images removed in the first place? So how would Col have known to remove em? He's normally just uploads art as he receives it, and i think this wws just ome of those cases where it was uploaded without thought. I firmly believe there should've been some attempt at communication about this, rather than immediately using it against him in a callout. I'd also like to mention that the character under his ownership has been revamped from its original form, so naturally previous iterations wouldn't? Apply? So i wouldn't say he's intentionally making NSFW content of the character just to hurt you. It's literally his character. The fic in the screenshot in from 2019, when the character was his and revamped, and they were out of contact with you. I will say it was odd to post the nsfw in the first place, but as both of you claim, you were young and dumb, so it was probably an instance of not really thinking it through. Again, this is something i feel should've been a discussion between the 2 of you rather than just a weapon to be used. I do feel this post doesn't share the whole story, it seems very one sided considering you also are encouraging people to not bother seeking out any other opinion or account of what happened. To me that's just a bit odd. Especially considering they did attempt to end the relationship multiple times. It also is odd that you didn't mention you both met as minors, as far as i know. That gives off the impression Col had mal intentions with the age gap, which is 100% not true. A poor decision, yes, but not a malicious one. People change though. I understand things in the past hurt and leave impacts, but it also isn't fair to drag someone for things they regret and have actively tried to stop/better themselves for.
i’m not using this as a weapon, i’m warning other people because he has a horrible track record of interactions with minors and pushing his fetishes onto other people. i’m not the only one who feels this way. there are multiple victims in this situation, and there are numerous other people who witnessed him pushing his fetishes onto people around him.
the fact that we met as minors changes nothing. we barely knew each other until 2016, and i was 14 and he was 16. that’s still an inappropriate age gap, especially over the internet.
when he confessed to me he was nearly an adult, and he confessed his fetishes first and pushed it onto me despite me saying it made me uncomfortable. if that’s not bad intentions i don’t know what is.
as for the art, it shouldn’t have been uploaded in the first place. i clearly didn’t want to associate with him anymore, had him blocked everywhere, and made it very clear i wanted nothing to do w him. it’s weird that he’d keep my personal vent art up publically. and the NSFW was uploaded when i was a minor and has still stayed up since then, which is literally against toyhouse rules.
he knew it was there, he recently sorted the art, and i don’t understand how anyone would think i’d want the NSFW i drew when i was 15 public. that’s not just an “i didn’t think about it too hard” kinda thing, that’s really serious and a violation of my privacy.
i don’t know how to explain to you that i didn’t want to contact him directly when he literally groomed me. just looking for the evidence for this PSA sent me into a PTSD episode, i can’t imagine how bad it’d be if i had direct contact w him when im terrified of him (actually i can because he block evaded and dmed me from an alt account and it sent me into a panic attack but that’s beside the point).
i apologize if i come off stern, but i’m very upset that i’m being accused of skewing a situation when i know multiple victims of him and i’ve provided evidence of him being inappropriate to minors and people with an inappropriate age gap.
Y0Y0Z I'm not saying I support the upload of the NSFW, I'm just saying it was most likely uploaded without a second thought. The characters at the time (2017) were hidden, and only authorized users were allowed to view them, which consisted of Col, their partner, Ronnie, and I (this has changed however, the characters are now public, but the art has been hidden). Col does not have mal intent, he literally just tended to upload art we made of the characters to keep track of it for us. We shared the characters in a shared world and all drew random things of em, which he would upload. I only brought up that he wouldn't have known they'd be uncomfortable because he doesn't look at the art anymore and wasn't in communication with Ronnie. As far as I'm aware (and i could be wrong) he moved a majority of it to a different tab after they had their falling out and didn't look back. I do not condone him keeping the images, I myself find it odd, but I don't think he should be put on trial for it.
--- RONNIE Forgive me if I sound hostile in any sense, it's not my intention, but I find it a bit difficult to agree with him pushing his fetishes on people. That being said, I could be wrong, PLEASE correct me if I am, but from all my interactions with him and with others around him he was usually quick to reel back once someone said they were uncomfortable. I'm also pretty sure the 1st screenshot is a joke taken out of context but again, please correct me if i am wrong, I'd like to be informed of what's true.I will agree that it's odd he confessed fetish first, that's.. really weird. I've asked him about it and he said it was a one off thing from a joke. (Which again, I do find odd, i don't agree with the fetish first romantic after.)
As for the art, please see my response to Y0Y0Z . The art has been hidden now, and I do agree that it shouldn't have been posted/kept, but I'd also like to say he doesn't really look at the art when he sorts it. He just mass selects and move it. I 100% understand feeling extremely uncomfortable by having it uploaded, but I feel this is an exaggerated outburst in a sense. I still firmly believe that this should've been a private matter of asking him to take the art down. I'm not saying you had to message him directly, a third party/mutual could've been the buffer between nyall. I just feel there could've been a way to discuss it rather than an entire callout post.
---- I'd also like to point out that Col did make his own response, which i was /just/ made aware of, and I'd like to link it and ask people look over it as well as it also provides some information that isn't in this thread. I feel it's vital that both sides be reviewed. Make your own opinions. Here is the post for those curious.
(i apologize for the use of caps, i don’t mean it aggressively that’s how i emphasize words)
mass editing the images is still no excuse for leaving up NSFW that i drew when i was 15. he knew what it was and he knew it was there. it’s not a ‘without a second thought’ thing, it shouldn’t have been made public EVER.
i’m not saying this in an aggressive way, but you are COMPLETELY wrong about the not pushing fetishes thing. i know multiple people who he made uncomfortable with it, and despite them saying it made them uncomfortable (myself included in this) he’d continue to ‘joke’ about it. not to mention the fact that it was involved in just about every conversation, according to myself and another victim. that joke from the screenshot could be taken out of context, but the wider context is: they knew that fetish made that person uncomfortable. and they’d purposely bring it up around them despite knowing this, to the point of evading word filters in servers when they were set in place.
this also doesn’t even address that he was doing fetish art trades with a 16 year old when he was 18/19 if my dates are correct.
you cannot convince me there is not mal intent here, and even if there somehow isn’t, it’s still wildly inappropriate and predatory regardless of intent. he was the older one in the situation, he was supposed to know better. this isn’t just an ‘oopsie’ or ‘something done without second thought’, this is a serious issue that has affected multiple people, i’m just the only one who is willing to speak up about it.
he blocked me so i can’t view his response directly, but from what others have shown me he defends our age gap by saying ‘it was a common joke’ (which if anything makes it worse because then he was AWARE of it) and that the NSFW talk was mutual (putting out personal info like me talking about being hypersexual which was due to trauma, which is just disrespectful). just because it was mutual does not make it ok. he was older than me, he was responsible for the way he was interacting with me. i was a child who had just been sexually traumatized, of course i wasn’t going to know any better.
i honestly really don’t want to speak about this publicly anymore, especially considering all the unecessary personal information he put out there. you’re free to dm me if you want.
RONNIE that's fair, i was just speaking from mine and a few others experiences with him on the fetish thing, so thank you for showing me the other half of it. I was completely unaware of the fetish trades, this is the first I've heard of them.
In the age gap, he defends it by saying you guys weren't that far off, him having just turned 17 in december(? I'll have to double check but i think that's what it said) and you 15 a few months later. I can see how it could've been, and was an issue though.
I've nothing more to say, but thank you for bringing up things and clarifying a little. I 100% did not mean to appear hostile in any of my messages btw, just want to clarify, i was just kinda a little defensive since it was a friend being called out, and lot of things seemed a bit iffy on both sides at first. I appreciate you taking the time to respond to me and hope you have a good day.
i understand, i didn’t mean to come off hostile at all intentionally, this is just very important to me and has affected me hard for a long time. thank you for listening though, i do understand why you’d want to hear both sides.
have a good day!! /gen