massive TW for grooming, exploitation of a minor, mention of sexual assault, and general talk of NSFW topics. stay safe.
i hate doing this kinda shit and i have done my absolute best to keep this issue private until now. i'm really really scared of what's gonna happen when i post this, but i want to break my silence on some of the shit that happened to me when i was 14-16.
this is all going to be about @coldioc.
just saying this ahead of time: any censored blocks that aren't otherwise specified are my deadname that i'm not comfortable sharing.
grooming
when he confessed to me, i was 14 and he was 17. i had just gotten away from someone who sexually assaulted me, and he was fully aware of this. he confessed his kinks and fetishes first, then confessed romantically. i was in a very vulnerable state, and i was very young and stupid.
i won't get into the personal gripes of our relationship, there were issues on both sides and i'm by no means innocent. but i had his fetish pushed onto me despite me making it clear it made me uncomfortable. on top of that he said multiple times there was nothing wrong with our age gap because "there's nothing sexual between us", despite making NSFW content of ourselves and regularly talking about NSFW subjects. he also said so many times that "i'm very mature for my age, i forget you're so young"
this is him talking still, just an extension of what he was saying:
us talking about how i thought it was weird that he confessed his kinks first before confessing romantically
other gross shit
him saying he doesn't care if people ship incest
him using a character he knew i used to vent my sexual trauma in a fetish work
him leaving up vent art of said character that was clearly about my sexual trauma (spoilering this bc it may be triggering, it's not graphic but the text can be uncomfortable and the subject matter is clear) and yet he uses this character for NSFW things too lol.
him saying i victimize myself (knowing i'm an abuse and sexual assault victim) and claiming i'm bad when he was... literally grooming me (not saying i wasn't a shit person back then but. i think you get my point)
deadnaming
once we broke up, there was an incident on artfight where i was accused of OC theft. i had to talk to a senior moderator and another moderator, who is an ex friend.
to my ex friend, the entire time they talked, he would deadname me despite being corrected every couple of sentences. and yet to the senior moderator he would use the right name with no problems. so he made the deliberate decision to deadname me despite knowing i'd changed my name. i don't have screenshots of this at the moment because i'm not in contact w my ex friend, but if needed i can try to get them.
this is also really funny because he did not want me to change my name despite it getting me misgendered all the time, and wanting to go by a more masc name. it's just fucking weird. i can't find screenshots of this but we had an entire conversation about how i wanted to change my name and he didn't want me to for x y z reason.
current day shit
the main reason i'm doing this now is i just found out he has my NFSW art that i drew when i was 15 years old public on his toyhouse. he knows it's there - he actively uses the characters and sorted the art into tabs - and he is fully aware i drew it when i was 15.
i wanted to keep all this private, but that crosses a line. i don't even keep my current NSFW art public, much less the shit i drew when i was 15. i feel disgusting and violated and this has crossed a line. i'm not linking it because i don't want it public, but i'm going to submit a toyhouse ticket.
i will post this, where you can see the NSFW that i drew has been up since 2017, when i would've been 15 years old. (censoring the characters because i don't want people to go looking for my NSFW) cathoodiess is my old deviantart username, i didn't have toyhouse at the time.
please do not attack him. please do not ask questions or poke and prod at the situation. i just need to get this out there and warn people because he is a predator and a gross person, and i'm not the only minor who he has talked about fetishes and NSFW things with.
maybe some of his opinions have changed now (such as the incest thing), but grooming a 14 year old abuse and sexual assault victim is unforgivable and i don't believe he deserves a platform. i know this is old, but i think people deserve to know what kind of person he really is.
