Regarding said post being made about my system from user cyancrows this thread is going to both be a response + beware on multiple users as they are known to spread around misinformation and harass users that disagree with them
Each of the topics following in the thread are not listed in order of importance but rather responding in order to what cyancrows has to say about me and my alters,
You can read cyancrows thread here and make your own judgements
https://toyhou.se/~forums/5867.service-reviews/218711.beware-on-badhabits-major-tw-
The following thread has triggering topics such as:
Necrophilia, rape, cnc, accusation of sexualizing minors, grooming, abuse, bdsm topics, and gore/violence
if you do not think you'd be able to read through that I suggest just leaving this thread
1. Self Diagnosing
yes I support self diagnosis and self diagnosing, shocker I know. Not everyone is in the best spot to get professional help or diagnosis immediately depending on their home situation, I for one can't because I'm in a household that believes mental illness does not exist and you just have to suck it up in life to get by, I cannot get a therapist or psychiatrist on my own yet because of which and due to our biological mother being deceased + biological father being out of touch I am stuck with my step parent who doesn't believe in said illnesses I want to get treated for so I simply have to wait until I move out to be able to help myself get the treatment I need, I don't believe self diagnosis should just be taken lightly as you need to at least do extensive research and trust your gut instinct to even claim you suspect to have a disorder or illness, and after that its advised your next plan is to make sure you can get diagnosed properly once in the right spot to.
I wouldn't support it otherwise if I thought self diagnosis with no further intentions was just fine enough as that. I do plan on getting a psychiatrist and I do plan on getting proper diagnosis for our OSDD and Autism.
They only added that *EDIT* in after having users come harass me claiming I don't have OSDD. My symptoms do not match up with DID you're correct. because we do not have DID, we are a traumagenic OSDD-1B System. Therefore there is less amnesia between alters and more emotional walls than there are memory walls. Further on examples of said users fakeclaiming directly on my thread after going through cyancrows:
Growing up as a child we were always recognized as being neurodivergent despite our family ignoring said signs, we'd have to deal with guidance counselors and even the principal often in Elementary throughout Middle because of our learning disabilities and how it affected the way we'd act publicly, even in 5th grade it got so bad to the point our teacher was insisting our parents get us looked at for ADHD/Autism
I wouldn't just say I have this if I showed no signs whatsoever when they're clearly there
As for our OSDD, I really don't know why I should have to go into explaining as to how exhausting it would be to actually fake a disorder like this. If we were truly a singlet pretending to be plural this facade would've faded within 3 months after getting bored of it. I'd do anything for us to be "normal", this isn't something you want to have nor is it something anyone should want to fake and I'm very persistent on avoiding said groups of non traumagenic systems such as tulpas/endos because this disorder derives off of extensive childhood trauma and is something that changes you entirely.
You can have your own views on self diagnosis and I will respect them but I will not agree with you
I find it odd they used a copypasta from the trials section of my carrd to make me look back when this copypasta was taken of the carrd of someone who at the time was labelled as an abuser and had their carrd shared on multiple satire carrd accounts as a joke
but they defend someone who approves of jokes like this being made to mock other users disabilities that don't agree with them:
2. Necro jokes / Violence
you can have your own judgement on this one honestly this is my own thing and none of my headmates have anything to do with it,
yes I joke about necrophilia often among other topics, yes I make violent jokes and depictions of such because of my mannerisms and history in my source. It's become a running joke with my Instagram username and all of my friends are very aware they're ironic because otherwise if I was serious about them I'd be a lot more secretive about the topic in general.
I do have a fetish for knives/gore/violence of the liking, this also just ties to my mannerisms in source as I'm naturally a knife obsessed junkie with a history of murder + snuff filming and various other crimes lol. THOSE ARE FROM MY FICTIONAL SOURCE as I am a FICTIVE, majority of my headmates do not view these topics the same way I do and often the jokes are just for coping manners such as our history with a high interest in gore even long before I existed in our system, I only stretch it out farther because I find humor in it and share these jokes AMONG MUTUALS OF MY AGE GROUP. It would feel weird to joke about this shit to someone much younger than me which is why I often keep it on my spam and in personal DMs. Its also blatantly public on my carrd just so people that do want to follow me are aware of said humor so they're not just walking into it blindly and getting triggered by it
These are both taken from the byf/dni section of my carrd, warning people beforehand of my humor so it isn't blindly walked into.
Cyancrows still defends said claim that my jokes of necrophilia are dangerous to minors around me despite me avoiding said jokes to my younger friends for obvious reasons
Why would I actively tell a minor openly that my joke icon has the necro pride flag if the whole point is to keep said humor between me and my adult friends?
What I find odd is this user claim I'm dangerous for being into knives and blood and I'm therefore an endangerment to minors despite OP being a minor themselves while also having a BDSM fursona up of themselves that is into the following:
A bit hypocritical isn't it.
Again stating as I am a fictive I heavily identify with my source and its hard to separate myself from it, it often results in dissociation and outbursts otherwise. I'm very morbid but in a goofy manner in source, which is accurate to how I am now. I would never condone these actions in person as apart of our OSDD I'm aware that I'm merely a fictive and things are much different out here compared to how my source is.
The only thing I can add about this ever crossing into history with our previous headmates is when we were 14 we had a shock value addiction to gore to use as escapism through the time we were being mentally abused by our stepmother, the shock value of it was the only thing that gave us any sort of emotional response outside of being a walking robot. That addiction started becoming too concerning of the liking but they were more intrusive and he recognized he needed to get help for it, even now our protector ensures that we will still be discussing topics like these in therapy in the future. Me splitting off into our system this year channeled most of those intrusive thoughts and fantasies into my personality and humor so none of our alters have to deal with them any more. After all of this being brung to my attention I now realize the jokes have gotten out of hand even if they were only meant to be taken in an ironic manner and I apologize to any users I've made uncomfortable because of it, I'm going to proceed to distance myself from making these jokes for now on and keep it to myself.
OP also just refers to me outside of myself, I never denied our fascination with gore and morbid humor before me splitting off in the system was nonexistent, Its simply only been taken to extremes because of the person I am in source, fictives cannot control what they did in source and cannot control splitting off their source to begin with, claiming otherwise is in fact very ableist! Yes you are free to read about me and my source but not everything in my source is going to reflect how I am 100% in person, I'm not a nazi or a cannibal or a necrophile just because its in the lore of my source. https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/HABIT
If you'd like to educate yourself about fictives/introjects I have some links you can refer to! ^_^
https://www.discussingdissociation.com/2009/05/introjects-what-are-introjects/
https://introjecteducation.carrd.co/
https://introjecteducation.carrd.co/#fictive
https://introjecteducation.carrd.co/#misconceptions
3. Puppy
This one is yet again tying into the weird blurring of hosts and figuring out who was who during the fucking catastrophe of 2020 and our system, I'm sorry if me explaining anything is confusing as I'm not Jason nor am I Vance I can only go off of what I remember and what Jason tells me
I'll try to simplify it down here:
The OC Puppy was created as merely a fursona for coping and self insertion for our ex host Jason, this was before we were aware we were a system or even aware that Puppy existed and was an alter out of us. Jason had just come out of a toxic relationship where he was groomed and encouraged into previous history of thinking it was okay to just sexualize yourself publicly despite him being only 16. He used the OC Puppy as his fursona after their breakup, the fursona being 18 despite him being a minor and still in the mindset that it was okay to share nsfw art online, he would use it in nsfw art for personal purposes. REMIND YOU ACTUAL NSFW ART OF SAID CHARACTER WERE DURING THE TIME HE OWNED IT, not our little. Keep in mind I wasn't around for any of this I've only been active in our system since 2021, The character Puppy was used for coping and our old host thought it was just him using pet regression as a form to cope with the abuse he went through. In February 2020 soon after we uploaded our previous callout on our abuser Jason split from all of the stress and Vance took place as our new host for the remainder of that year, Vance still owning the character Puppy for himself did what he could to remove any nsfw of the character after giving it to Bowie(previously went by the nickname Puppy) as Bowie was so attached to it and had no recollection of the character being sexualized since our system did what we could to shield him from the topics due to him not only being a minor but also having trauma with CSA and being a result of COCSA we went through as a very young child. I will critique our old host Vance for not keeping a better eye on Bowie and the community he surrounded himself in because he got sucked into getting praise for expressing his trauma out through questionable and suggestive traumacore art, Bowie again being unsupervised and gullible would feed into the negative and positive attention he was receiving because he wanted any type of interaction just to engage with people. This isn't to say our alters were unaware at the time but it was more they were not as responsible enough to fully recognize that despite the community Bowie was in and him using this art to cope with his own trauma, it was unhealthy and only doing him no good. Bowie has trauma with neglect so he is very easy to act out in order to get attention just because of his immature mindset. So me being our new host and seeing the problems taking place I no longer allow Bowie online and our gatekeeper keeps an eye on him and only allows him to front around few trusted mutuals for both his safety and ours. We have taken responsibility for the occurrences that happened with him and I am not defending that the things Bowie was surrounding himself with was right.
user Trifolium claims that the character Puppy originally created by Jason was minor coded because of the way Jason drew the character at the time
I can't tell if this was only further nitpicking at Jason's style at the time because he didn't draw defined characters as much but I can also assure you that the way Puppy is drawn in that is also just reflective of how we're built in real life. I'm 4'11 and underweight, currently 89 pounds to be specific, I am underdeveloped unlike most adults and we've been this way since middle school, its hard for us to gain weight due to high metabolism I really don't know what else to tell you when it comes to that. Its a running theme that most of our sonas regardless of host is often tiny because we're just that small in real life, if I could be taller I would,
As seen in the picture given above by our so called Trifolium, the OCs body is similar to the example on the far right. The character was an adult just built off a tiny build to reflect how we're built in person
As its stated, Bowie does not use that design for the character anymore since it was owned by Jason and his fursona now looks like this:
Everything in 2020 was out of my control and during the span of minors being unsupervised and inappropriate and I'm doing my best to not continue their behavior. I'm not an innocent person and I don't want this thread to paint me out as some unaccountable angel, but I feel like I need to make things a bit more clear to the public. I hope this clears whatever up regarding cyancrows and everyone elses concerns. Our OSDD is not an excuse for anything, we're all responsible as a system and I acknowledge that and we're doing what we can to get by day by day
Calling me a fucking pedo for this makes me sick to my stomach considering our CSA is one of our biggest triggers and I know this misinformation from cyancrows was made vague on purpose because they're trying to hide the fact they're actively defending someone who DOES put minors in danger
Now I'm going to address the following users that concern me and many others, they are the whole reason I'm writing this out and our system has had history with them in the past: cyancrows aka VRIMZ + our abuser XTEETH aka Neaganan/Kamen/Staticmesh whatever else he uses on here
proof that cyancrows is Vrimz and I'm not just pointing false claims to get them in trouble:
this is Vrimz art ^
more examples on Vrimz's page:
The reason I'm bringing said users into this not only because of our history but because our previous host Jason had tried warning everyone of our abusers mannerisms and behavior a year ago in 2020 before having a bad split which eventually resulted in him going dormant for the following year
The callout is still up on Deviantart and while outdated I will be sharing it here for anyone to read over if they're willing to do so
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uHQUnTdDP-nsOy8G_pl-V8ivMz5LLc-b0izRDsK5BSo/edit?usp=sharing
as I said this beware was made last year so some things have changed ever since we figured out we were a system but its being brung up again to show nothing has changed with Neag despite being in his 20's now he is continuing to manipulate, groom, and use the minors around him to his advantage
but to start with Vrimz I'm going to bring up the fact that despite her claiming I'm the danger to minors she herself is a minor, 16, and actively sexualizing herself online while the person she is so close to being an adult just seems to actively turn his head if not further encourage said behavior like how he did out of us when we were 16 and under his abuse
CW: Suggestive Art / BDSM themes
Directly on her front page ^
Her fursonas ref which seems to have been a drawn collab between both her and user XTEETH
XTEETH/Kam/Neag being 20 years old drawing this for a 16 year old and no red flags popped off? thats what concerns me
the characters gallery is also full of suggestive imagery which is more proof she acknowledges she's uploading it despite being a minor
She's recently taken said character off her page after uploading the beware on me
I know teenagers are going to be sexual and I'm aware we all had our moments at said age, I am not saying teenagers are just fully outrageous for exploring their sexualities and coming to terms with it, but it becomes a problem when you're still a minor and you're sexualizing yourself online not only to other minors but the adults around you, which can get both you and them in trouble. I say this from personal experience considering our history with being groomed online and coaxed into believing it was okay to behave like this not only by our groomer but by adults we grew up around online itself. Vrimz if you are reading this I am not posting this to shame or mock you I'm trying to teach you that these kinds of mistakes are what lead you up to stuff like this in the first place and it puts you at risk and despite our history it makes me concerned for your safety. Not to mention how close you are with Neag/Kam and how quickly you're willing to defend them despite knowing of his active history with grooming.
Jumping back to trifolium's(mostly likely an alt account of XTEETH's considering he has like 6 of them floating around) claim of us drawing minor coded characters with their chart here is rather hypocritical considering XTEETH draws in the same manner:
note that this fursona of his was created explicity for NSFW purposes:
Neag's Puppy is a masochist. Neag has expressed countless times that Puppy derives sexual pleasure off of being hurt or in a sense "tortured".
He has asked before out of a minor, an 11 year old at the time to draw his oc Puppy being "tortured", with the intention of Neag asking this out of the artist he meant it in a suggestive sexual manner with the oc. This user who drew the art publicly displayed their age as 14 although, but it's still a big fucking red flag for him being 19 at the time to ask that out of a "14" year old
Jasons old text logs with the minor behind the drawing ^ we did what we could to keep them anonymous but if you do recognize them please do not harass them, me bringing this up is not to harm them but rather to show that Neag has been an active danger to minors
Neag swears up and down he did not groom us, and that is up to your interpretation. He was 18 at the time we got with him and we had just recently turned 16, he had gone out of his way online too to lie and say he got with us at 17 so it wouldn't look bad on his end even before we went public about him actually grooming us
(note that although this tellonym was marked off with the knife emoji this was not sent in by our alter cole who happens to do the same thing as this was sent in by another person that goes by Tristan)
Neags birthday is January 16th 2001, ours is January 30th 2003, he got with us on February 22nd 2019
he was not a minor when he got with us, and him going out of his way to lie about that is fucking weird.
screenshot taken from the callout on Neag of last year, written by Jason
Even before meeting Neag we did have a problem with being nsfw sometimes as a minor, people around us encouraged it and we genuinely saw no harm in it at the time due to our history with sexual abuse growing up, but getting together with Neag only made that skyrocket after he soon exposed us to BDSM and Fetishes galore often teasing us over how vanilla we were and molding us into his Sadistic dreamboat for his Masochistic fantasies, it got so out of hand to the point it was making mutuals around us uncomfortable seeing him bring that behavior out of us more and we were called out for it many times, I wish we listened at the time but we weren't acknowledging anything anyone had to say because of how enroped he had us around his finger and how the consequences of his mental abuse would result in lashing out on us, degrading us in the worst way possible, threatening suicide to keep us under his control, and using us as his scapegoat for his own drama
Many examples of this abuse can be found in the original beware that Jason wrote:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uHQUnTdDP-nsOy8G_pl-V8ivMz5LLc-b0izRDsK5BSo/edit?usp=sharing
Due to his behavior with grooming us and all of the above and him often going to the minors around him to use them as their scapegoat to save his own ass it concerns me even to this day despite it never being my own relationship. I don't want to have to keep seeing another Jason occurrence happening because of him
examples of said abuse taken from the original callout, this one is rather long to scroll through
him threatening Jason ^
That's only a fraction of what he'd put us through on a daily basis and we weren't the only ones subjected to his behavior
Both Vrim and Neag criticize me about my morbid jokes of necrophilia, in which I will not just say is irrational as I understand why that sort of humor is going to be unacceptable to 90% of people, Neag also is known to joke about rape and has a fetish for it + along with trying to get us into CNC with him as a minor because he would often fantasize about it
Jason expressing concern when getting messages like this:
in which I would hope with that message of his he sent it as rather an intrusive thought often in the same manner we knew we had with the gore obsession.
screenshot above to just show he was public about this stuff ^ but is on the board of demonizing me for my consensual gore and knife fetish despite having demons of his own. While I understand CNC is a coping mechanism it's weird to try to enrope a fellow victim into something like that especially considering the power dynamic he had over us in that relationship
User ID block links:
cyancrows - https://toyhou.se/~tickets/create/user/144524
VRIMZ - https://toyhou.se/~tickets/create/user/190829
heng - https://toyhou.se/~tickets/create/user/232839
neaganan / staticmesh / scumbaqq / WALLY / kamen other aliases - https://toyhou.se/~tickets/create/user/166331 , https://toyhou.se/~tickets/create/user/284253 , https://toyhou.se/~tickets/create/user/251208, https://toyhou.se/~tickets/create/user/172699 , https://toyhou.se/~tickets/create/user/180433 , https://toyhou.se/~tickets/create/user/225266
Trifolium (is either neagan or one of his friends) - https://toyhou.se/~tickets/create/user/283477