a wordless treatise on mortality

a faint pow from far off has zharik snapping his head upward, glancing around for whatever had caused it. a moment later, a flash of blueish light from far off, and the same sound, which he was then able to identify as a tracer shank. fallen patrol. too far off to be a threat, but too close to where he doesn't want to remain still for too long. the exo hastily shoves the communicator into his pocket, rising to his feet and keeping acrius held in both hands as he gets on the move. it's just as well. he really has no reply for the guardian, whatever her name is. he never asked. should he have?

truthfully, he's still unsure how he feels about her. yeah, it's nice to have someone to throw around and being able to unleash his dominant, borderline-sadistic nature on and having them live to tell the tale.. more so especially when they're a guardian. is it just the sex he likes? or his control and the freedom to do as he pleases with her? could be either. could be both. but he doesn't like having to admit that he had to refrain from smiling the last time she came by.

he spends the next hour walking without really noticing where he’s gone, until he’s traversed all the way to the winding cove, standing ankle-deep in water, staring off into the distance. optics resting tiredly on the fog-topped, rippling mass around him. 

and for a brief second, zharik feels very small.

his fingers curl around the communicator. 

"can you meet me?"

he’s still standing in the water when she arrives, not having moved. it’s nearly 4 in the morning, and the exo is swathed in the gasping fog that breathes across the water. he turns only when he hears her approach; the soft sound of gently-splashing water being the only element that disturbs the silence bearing down on his metal-clad shoulders. 

he can’t say a word. nothing at all. the legionary’s cast mouth clacks lightly a few times as it minutely moves; speaking his mind yet missing the sound. a ribbon of echoes that shrill in his audial receptors yet unheard by the world. he walks, boots dragging in the water, coming to stand in front of the guardian. 

her. 

she puts her hands on her hips and cocks her head once she stops moving towards him, because he's silent. in fact, he's not even looking at her, so now she's a little concerned. she watches his maw open and close slightly, but nothing comes out, only muted whirring of presumably very powerful servos. deep red optics are clouded by the veil of fog, but he looks straight ahead, too scared to look down, to look at her. not yet. mouth opening and closing once again, and if he had a heart to speak of, it would be fighting to burst free from its cage as zharik’s arms suddenly wrap around the hunter’s shoulders, pausing, and then pulling her in close to his chest. one hand moves to the back of her smooth helm, and he continues staring straight ahead, holding onto the guardian in his arms as if she were the only thing left to tether him to the world.

he doesn't say anything for awhile, and he's glad that she doesn't either. zharik's chest rumbles as he steadies his systems, hoping the sound isn't off-putting to her. it's.. been a long time since he hugged someone. years. he thinks back to it, wracking his brain. eventually remembering one of the last hugs he ever had was a few weeks before red legion showed up. he'd hugged one of his favourite servers at the bar he always went to. what was her name.. cassidy? cassandra? he doesn't remember. he idly wonders if she'd remember him.

"sorry, i just.. wasn't thinking well on my own." he finally says, thumb idly brushes against her helm, close to the back of her neck. zharik releases her from his hold, finally realising that he's still standing ankle-deep in murky water, and he begins walking towards the shoreline without saying anything else. he unholsters acrius from his back, setting it carefully on one of the large rocks, and sits down on the one next to it. elbows on his knees, he leans forward, planting his face into his open palms. fingers curling around his sculpted horns, he ex-vents loudly, steam warming his face as he sits there. "i'm sorry if i woke you."

she follows him slowly over to the rocks nearer the shoreline, still walking as he sits himself down. approaching him from behind, she places one of her hands carefully in the middle of his back and runs it upward to his massive pauldron. mounting the rock, sort of using him as a brace, she plops herself next to him, hand still on his shoulder, not caring that he can't feel it under the armor. "hey, don't worry about it. i don't sleep much anyway."

"me either. cabal make loud sounds in their sleep. i sleep in the barracks, so i can't really avoid it." he doesn't mind her being close to him, only worries that the metal plating on his arms and shoulders might be uncomfortable to her after awhile. "plus, half of them aren't sleeping anyway. they just sit around and talk, instead of, y'know, being decent and doing that elsewhere. mess hall or anywhere else. fuck." he vents steam again as he speaks, the orange backlighting of his throat muted lightly by the cloud, and illuminating it in an almost eerie sort of way. 

zharik is quiet for a few moments, staring off at the water for a little bit. "hey, is.. sugar dune still in the city? on aline street, i think. i used to go there almost every morning before work to get donuts and coffee from them. i miss donuts and coffee, but especially theirs."

she has to think for a moment. "i think there's more than one now, since there's been a bit of time to recover from... well, you know. but yeah, the one on uh... what was it, aline, yeah, is still there. i've never been in there myself, though."

"mmh. you should, since.. well, since you can. they were known for doing a lot of filled donuts, and they had this one every friday that was filled with a chocolate peanut butter pastry cream and then drizzled in chocolate and dusted with crushed peanut butter candies, and.. ah fuck. it was so good. i went every friday before work, and then after work. had to have two. they got so much of my paycheck.." he grows quiet again, staring down at his hands folded between his knees. "if the cabal knew that i was even thinking like this, they'd have my head for it. i had to give up everything i had from my city life. my exo mods, my colours, my possessions. my name. and i never.. really did think much of the city. not until recently. hard remembering everything i left behind. harder knowing that i gave it up for a cause that ultimately failed, even though i still believe in it."