Where do I go?
When the inky blue of night blanketed the sky and the stars twinkled into existence, it was never hard to find peace. Crickets chirped, their collective sound creating a soft song that mimicked a heartbeat. The expanse of grass on the top of a rise shimmered under the moonlight as a soft breeze passed over the tips of the blades, creating a wave-like effect.
Chariel adored the serene silence of a world asleep, especially during the months of spring. Out here, he was far from other people and had space to think without being interrupted. It was beautiful, and it was perfect. But tonight...it was too perfect. The sparkling stars were a part of him, but even being under his own domain could not comfort him now. What was normally a safe space for the viscet only frustrated him the longer he was here. Looking at his surroundings, he started to feel an illogical spark of fury that lingered, smoldering deep inside his chest.
How could everything still be like this when she was gone?
It shouldn’t be this way; it wasn’t fair. What right did the world have to continue functioning after its devastating loss? Chariel had spent hours— no, days fighting with himself, but his struggle to grasp reality proved to be no easier as time went by. What would he do now without her? What would the world do? There had never been a death in the Council before; this was the first time such an event had taken place. He and the other gods could have never foreseen it, nor understood what would lead to that path.
The goddess of life had been Chariel’s closest friend, far more than the three others that occupied the Silver City. He didn’t understand why she did it, why she gave her life to save a mortal’s. It was split-second, it was sudden, and it was irrational. Kimeaka gave him no notice, no warning at all before she had vanished from existence, never to be seen again. How could she do that to him? How could she leave so suddenly? He hadn’t even the chance to ask her why she did it before she was ripped from this life.
Chariel started thinking about the mortal again. The prince. He was a young viscet, son of the Emperor and heir to the Sakozko kingdom. A relative had launched an attack at the heart of the capital city with the goal to claim the throne for himself. Chariel was sympathetic towards the family, there was no doubt in his mind that it was indeed a horrible thing, but it was nothing he could do anything about. Events like that took place all the time around the world because of other people’s agency and how they chose to use it. The gods’ job was not to interfere with this, yet...Kimeaka did. The prince’s parents had both been killed before the goddess was able to get to him. She had bestowed her entire power onto the young prince, giving up her own self in order to gift it to him.
It wasn't a hopeless situation; Chariel had seen Kimeaka face much more powerful and deadly foes than the Emperor's brother. No matter how much he thought about it or what angle he looked at it from, he could not understand why the goddess needed to give up her life to stop it. She shouldn't have been involved, never mind her using her powers to interfere with something that shouldn't be altered! But yet she did all of this anyway, without rhyme or reason, without explanation, and without warning.
Chariel felt betrayed. She had left and told him nothing beforehand. It was so unlike her— they shared everything with each other, so an action like this on her part was something that he just couldn’t understand. What made it even worse is how quickly the world had moved on. Cities still functioned, people went about their day as usual, and almost nothing had changed. Maybe it was selfish of him to expect a bigger reaction, but Kimeaka played such a vital role in the world’s growth that it was almost sickening to Chariel after what had happened.
It had been a year. In his terms, a year was a blink of an eye, but for the mortals, it was long enough to forget, or at least to stop caring. Remnants of the goddess could be found here and there, and the kingdom she watched over still mourned her loss, but besides the very few that had been blessed with her presence as a child, there was little left of her.
As much as he knew it was wrong, Chariel couldn’t help but feel a growing resentment towards the young prince. He had taken over Kimeaka’s role as the god of life after the Council had approved, though there wasn’t really any other option they had as Renkuda possessed the power and now the status of an immortal. Chariel hated it. He hated seeing someone else in her place; it had all happened so fast, but it was becoming apparent that Renkuda replacing the goddess had hurt him deeper than he realized.
He couldn’t write off the others’ feelings though. Constance, despite her aggressive nature and overly assertive attitude, had always had a fear of death herself. Up until Kimeaka’s passing, death had always seemed like a far-off abstract concept that none of them really thought about. The water goddess was definitely more unstable because of it, but she was fantastic at hiding her true feelings. Her reaction was probably the fastest to fade.
Something sparkled in the corner of Chariel’s eye, and he turned his head just in time to see a streak of light hurtle across the night sky.
A shooting star— Those were her favorite…
Was there still hope? A small part of him hung desperately onto the possibility that somewhere, somehow, there was a way he could see her again.