[FRAG] House of Liars

"Do you think that I'm a good person, Morning Star?"

His boyfriend stirred, tucked into the crook of his arm, underneath him. They were squished into one of the armchairs in his house, nested in the warmth of the old fabric and the sagging cushion. The television was on, a drone of background noise, while Morning Star quietly whittled away at some sort of knitting project he'd began before Magnotris had gotten home. 

Even though he could faintly hear the chatter of the people on the TV, the room was quiet. There was a stillness around them - almost a saddened sort.

Morning Star didn't look up from his needles, though they clacked. "Yes."

"...You think so?" Magnotris asked, a moment later. He kept his stare focused on the TV, at the bright colors and bright lights. They were good for pretending everything was okay.

"Yeah. Do you think I'm a good person?"

Magnotris half-smiled. "Oh, come on, Morning Star. That's not even a question. Of course you are."

"Sorry... I guess it was sort of dumb," he said, quietly, sullen.

Magnotris' eyes flicked to glance at Morning Star out of the corners of his peripheral vision. The other still hadn't looked up. "What's on your mind?" 

"...Everything."

"...Yeah, that's fair. A lot of shit happened. What parts are you mostly thinking about?" 

The needles clacked away. "Hour. My brother, you... you know him."

Magnotris felt a frown tug at his features. He knew mostly of Hour, secondhand stories from what little Morning Star shared and guesstimates based on what he saw of their home Timeline. His opinion had never been pretty, but he knew he had a tendency to jump to assumptions, so he hadn't tried to pass judgement yet. "What about him?" 

"I visited recently. I wanted to befriend him again. I don't know why. I don't... I don't know why his opinion matters to me so much, but it just does. I want him to like me." Morning Star choked. "So I went back home for a bit to talk to him, maybe try to befriend. And then we found out some people in his Timeline were hurt during Rendgen's takeover, so I healed them after offering to, and Hour said I could. But then he got angry with me." 

He rubbed the other's upper arm comfortingly, "That sounds like a him problem, yeah? He's a jackass."

"I know. Trust me, I know. But I still feel guilty. Like I did something wrong?"

"You didn't. You helped people. There's nothing wrong with that."

"What if they didn't want my help? What if Hour was just being polite by accepting my help? What if they really didn't want it?"

Magnotris' frown deepened. "Then... they should've told you that upfront. You're not a mind reader, that's damn rude. If they didn't want your help, they should've turned your offer down." 

"What if I was being too forceful? What if I pushed them into accepting my help? I mean, with the power I have now and stuff... I don't know if I'm subconsciously warping things or not, and like... I don't know. What if I messed up?" Morning Star said, voice cracking slightly.

Magnotris fetched the box of tissues, offering it. Morning Star quietly accepted one, setting down the knitting for only a second. "I don't know a whole lot about the Blessing stuff, but maybe we could go talk to Jubilee or Sundae about it afterwards? They'd know for certain if your powers were doing... stuff. Even then, I stand by what I said. I don't think you're passively warping thoughts, and they still could've said no."

"I don't know," Morning Star said, his voice a whimper. 

Magnotris reached forwards to levitate the remote and turn down the volume to a complete hush. He leaned back, wrapping both arms around his partner, who had stiffened in his arms. The hug was warm, but Morning Star didn't move to hug back.

Fuck. Morning Star was really torn up about all of this. He really needed to find the words to make him feel better. Ugh, he'd never been good with words. But he had to say something - Morning Star always knew what to say to make him feel better; it was about time he returned the favor. But nothing he'd said so far seemed to get through to the other....

"And now I've even taken over your conversation," Morning Star glumly cut in. "You're probably upset about stuff too. I'm sorry, Magnotris. I sh-shouldn't have said anything-"

"-No, listen, you're fine," he said, tilting up Morning Star's chin. "I want to help you, Morning Star. Okay? Do you want me to help you?"

"...Yes," he replied, unable to meet Magnotris' gaze.

Magnotris still smiled. "Okay. Talk to me then? What's bothering you? What are you thinkin' about?"

Morning Star breathed in, slowly. "All of it?"

"Yep. Dump on me, go right ahead."

"Okay... if you want me to."

"I do."

Morning Star closed his eyes and scrunched up his muzzle before exhaling, and with his breath came a torrent: "Everything just feels like I fucked up, like I can't actually do what everyone expects me to, because everyone expects me to like, be able to befriend anyone at all or make them feel better but I still fucked up so much, you know? Like, when Rendgen kidnapped me, I couldn't talk him down or convince him to let me go - everyone had to show up and save me instead. And w-with Bereave, I couldn't stop anyone from f-fighting and killing him, a-and now with Hour Star it's just salt in the w-wound that I can't actually befriend anyone and that I-I'm just some stupid fraud. 

"L-Like I can help maybe if it's minor stuff, like Sundae or whatever, but I'm c-completely useless when it comes to actually making a change o-or befriending people who m-matter or de-escalating a situation... it's like a-all I can do is just eternally fuck up and never do things right and every time I think about Hour I just think a-about how badly I messed up and how much he probably hates me, a-and nothing I do seems to make him like me, even th-though I was super determined to try to befriend him again because I care about him, a-and Jubilee talking about Bereave and stuff just makes me n-nauseous, thinking about what we did, what we couldn't stop, a-and and I don't know w-what I'm supposed to do or how I'm supposed to d-do my job and I don't know why Pyatiugolnik p-picked me or why I a-accepting being an Overseer when I'm so woefully i-incompetent!"

Magnotris blinked, slowly. He kept his arms firmly around Morning Star, even as the other burst into impromptu tears, sobbing softly into his hands. Suddenly, he was struck with a deep-rooted sense of deja vu. He had to navigate this carefully, but maybe he knew how to help.

Quietly, he rested his chin on Morning Star's head. "You get it out of your system?"

"Y-yeah..."

"Okay, good. Cause now you have to listen to what I'm gonna say, alright?" 

"Okay...."

Magnotris tilted Morning Star's head up again, keeping his eyes focused on the other's. They stared into each other's gazes, Morning Star's full of tears, Magnotris' resolute and gentle. 

"I was going through, like, the same thought processes. Feeling really incompetent. Next to you, actually. Like you went off and got ascended and an Overseer invitation and you were doing all this crazy shit that was right over my head, and all I was was just some... I dunno, just parasite leeching off of you. I wondered a few times why you even bothered staying with me. You were out there, doing incredible things. You've done incredible things. And I was feeling shitty forever, because I was jealous and angry and I hated myself. But I met a guy - his name's Crvendach, he's really nice - and he kinda helped me turn that all around.

"Cause, like, we're all fucking up a lot. All the time. We're constantly doing little fuckups. And that's okay, because that's just part of being alive. That's just a part of the beauty of being alive. Creation was a mistake, you know? Genesis did a shitpoor job and nothing can change that. We're mistakes, you know? But like... we're good mistakes. We're good dumbasses, doing good things. We're trying to make things better. And we can't beat ourselves up for those mistakes. We can't just tear at ourselves because, like, you're still good inside, no matter what. You're still trying to make things better. And it's hard, because sometimes all you can think about are your shortcomings, but they're only a little tiny bit of you. There's so much more of you, you know?

"Because you changed my life, Morning Star. Even if you didn't, y'know, end the conflict between the Haven and Coalition - which you totally did - you still touched my life. You made me feel better. And what about all your friends? Roseline, Sundae? Sterling, Wage? Think about all the people who are happier because you were there, because you talked to them, because you understood and reached out. You're like, a beacon of hope, Morning Star. You were my reason for living for a long time there. I cared about trying to be a better person because I wanted to be better for you." 

"M-Magnotris-"

He put a finger on Morning Star's lips, "Noo, shush, I'm not done yet. And I'm not saying your feelings are invalid or anything, because I fuckin' get it. When you're feeling that way about yourself, it's a really awful feeling. You can't, like, climb out of it alone or anything, and it really, really sucks. I couldn't climb out on my own. But you and Crvendach helped me get out, and now I'm doing my own work, and feeling a lot better. I still have doubts - I'm never going to shake them - but I... I know I'll grow into something better. And I know you'll be right next to me, growing too, doing better, too. You've done so much good in such a short period of time, Morning Star. You've changed the world for the better, I know it. I'm honored to be a part of your life, to be a part of your journey, to help you however I can. So let me help you, let me support you like you supported me. If you're feeling bad or uncertain, I want to be there to catch you and help you stand back up. I've got your back, and I know Sterling does, too, and so does everyone else who cares about you. You're so much better than your mind wants to let you believe."

Morning Star sniffled, loudly.

Magnotris smiled, wiping at his own tears, "Ahaha, fuck, I guess I'm crying too? Shit, that all just sort of spilled out-"

"M-Magnotris," Morning Star squeaked, throwing his arms around Magnotris, "I-I love you, I love you, thank you, I-"

"I'm just really happy to help, you know?" he asked, but pulled Morning Star in, burying his muzzle in the other's soft hair. "I want you to feel good, I want you to feel happy. And, like, I've gone through some of this stuff. Every day I have to wake up and ask myself what kinda guy I'm going to let myself be, and I always just want to be a better person. For your sake. Because you mean so much to me."

"I w-wanna be better for y-you, too," came the tears.

"Sometimes I even wonder, like, man what does Morning Star see in me? I'm-"

Morning Star lightly slapped Magnotris' shoulder, "I s-see a lot in you! I r-really admire your c-confidence! You're always s-so smart, you make everything sound smart coming out of your mouth! A-and you're actually really... really g-gentle and sweet inside, even though you pretend you're not, you're a-always really nice to me and th-thoughtful and I feel s-safe around you! I want to do a good j-job so we don't have to worry about the r-rest of the world anymore and we can just sit at h-home and talk and hang out a-and stuff."

"I-" Magnotris paused to wipe at his eyes again. "Wow, sheesh, coming out s-swinging, aren't you?"

Morning Star nodded, face buried in Magnotris' chest still. 

"Do you really think that?" he asked, a second later.

Morning Star peeped up.

"Think that we could, like... permanently make the world a better place. Like, so that we don't have to worry about it anymore. Don't have to fight or fuck with Timelines or anything. You really think we could?"

There was a nod against his shoulder, and then a tight squeeze in the hug. "There was to be. We're g-gonna make it better, forever."

Magnotris smiled against the other's hair, poking Morning Star in the ribs, earning a small yelp. "See? That. That's why I love you. You never stopped believing in the good of everyone and everything."

"You don't think we c-could do that?"

"I didn't, not for a long time. But I think you've... changed my mind. Made me think that maybe, really, we could make it better, forever. I mean, look at the way you convinced Sterling to be your friend. Now you've got a really loyal ally that hated every last one of us before. Like, you're gonna be that change, y'know? You're a fucking awesome force of idealism in the world and I wanna cling on for the ride."

"I-I wanna cling to you too."

Magnotris pulled Morning Star closer. "Then let's cling."

The television's lights flashed, the only brightness in the room. Magnotris let his eyelids droop, curling closer around Morning Star, his wings craning to try to reach around even though they were too small. Morning Star's arms were firmly around his waist, pulling him closer, the other's face mashed firmly in his chest. He could feel the rise and fall of the other's breathing, feel the warmth of his fur and body against his own. 

It was comforting. It was moments like these that drove him to be better, to try better. Moments like these stayed with him, forever. Moments like these warmed him, and reminded him that there was still hope out there, out in the cold, massive world. They could change it, together. They were pawns in the chess games of the strongest - of Jubilee, of Mags, of things beyond their power - but there was nothing that couldn't bend to kindness and emotion. There was nothing truly unfeeling. 

And, perhaps once that had scared him, that the world was governed by fickle emotion, that the world churned with a miasma of hatred and anger and resentment and frustration. But Morning Star had lit up that darkness, had shown him that perhaps, just maybe, there was something more. Maybe there wasn't just fury that ruled the world. Maybe kindness did, maybe love did. Maybe kindness existed in all, and they just needed someone to help them light their own candle of it. Certainly, Morning Star had lit Magnotris'.

It could be made into a better place. It could be forged - not through anger and resentment, but through happiness and communication, through reaching out to others, to touching them and helping them understand, by offering peace and a hand rather than the wrong end of a blade. That was something worth fighting for, worth protecting in any manner he could. 

Morning Star's dream was worth fighting for.

"I'm sorry about the whole Bereave thing," Magnotris spoke, quietly. "I don't think there was anything we could've done. Jubilee and Rendgen... you saw them. You couldn't have convinced them to stop, y'know?"

"Yeah... I think I r-realized that, too," Morning Star said, voice quiet, but not subdued. "I just didn't... w-wanna think about it. I wish I would've gotten a ch-chance still, though."

"Yeah. Me too. I think you could've talked to Bereave. I don't mean that in a bad way or anything, like you failed for not doing it, but-"

"-No, I know what you m-mean. You think so?"

"Yeah! Yeah."

Morning Star sniffled, wiping his nose.

"And Hour's just an ass. You don't know what's even going on with him, y'know? You're barely home. So what if he's a resentful prick?"

"I still wanna befriend him. I wanna make our relationship b-better."

Magnotris shifted to rub Morning Star's back. "I find that really, really admirable about you. This guy's a super huge jerk to you and you still want to make friends with him. I used to worry that you'd get taken advantage of. But... I dunno. You've really, like, grown into yourself. You can handle yourself, and I didn't know how to cope with that for a while. I didn't know how to react, with you being strong and capable and stuff."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Like, where did I fit in there? I couldn't protect you anymore, you didn't need my protection. And it took me a while to realize that I could just support you. I could be there to listen when you were sad, and lift you up whenever you were feeling bad. Like now."

Morning Star closed his eyes. "I... I wanna support you, t-too. You mean a lot to me. I r-really admire everything about you. Whenever I'm in trouble, I always think to myself 'what would Magnotris do?' and th-then I try to follow through with it. You helped me get, like, all strong and capable. If I didn't have you, I wouldn't have been brave enough."

"...Thank you, Morning S-star. That means a lot."

The hug tightened.

Magnotris sniffled slightly. "It really does. I'm glad I met you."

"I'm glad I met you, too. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Magnotris closed his eyes, the other's breathing a soothing reminder of everything he cared about in the world. This wasn't how he expected their date night to go, but it was perfect, honestly. The tension from earlier had melted, and they both let down their walls, inviting each other in to gently trim their vulnerabilities, to share them, to discuss, to comfort. 

And maybe they didn't get to see each other as often as they should, but what time they got together, they made the most of it. That was something they'd always been capable of, something they'd always loved. Even if they could only steal away a few hours, it would be some of the most profound and caring hours they'd each ever experience. The depths they could explore with even a moment, with even a stolen glance... it almost made him dizzy to think about. He loved Morning Star. So much.

"Oh!" came a peep.

Magnotris cracked open his eyes, glancing down. Morning Star held up what he'd been knitting. Magnotris blinked at the sweater dangled in front of his face, with the phrase 'MY OUTBURST WAS UNCALLED FOR BUT MY POINT REMAINS' stitched on its chest.

"What is this?" he asked, reaching forwards to rub the hem with his fingers. The craftsmanship was fairly skilled, and the texture was soft.

Morning Star's face flushed slightly. "I, uh, I learned how to knit recently because I was thinking about it and... a-and you said that earlier to Jubilee, and it just really stuck with me, y'know? And I thought it'd be a funny thing to put on a sweater that I was gonna make for you..."

"Oh my stars," Magnotris said, picked up the sweater, "this is great, Morning Star." 

He perked up, "You think so?"

"Stars, yes!" it took some effort to get it over his head and wings, but it was comfortably oversized and spilled over the rest of his body easily. Magnotris pulled at the bottom, smiling down at the stitches. "I'm going to wear this forever. This is absolutely hilarious, thank you." 

"I'm really glad you like it," he said, blushing still as he hid his cheeks. "I can make more sweaters...."

"PLEASE do!"

The sound of Morning Star's cellie vibrating against the wooden table startled them both. They stared at it for a second before Morning Star scrambled forwards, grabbing it and opening the text. 

Magnotris leaned back on the armchair. "Who is it?"

"Huh... it's Arco Iris. He says Hour's at the Coalition headquarters to see me?" Morning Star frowned. "Ah... I really should go."

Magnotris caught the other's tie, pulling him into a quick kiss. "Don't let that asshole hurt you, okay? At all, in any way. Or I'll steal his ribcage."

"I don't think he has one," Morning Star half-snorted, but smiled and kissed Magnotris' nose. "Love you... sorry I had to cut this short."

"We'll go on another date, don't worry. See you, okay? Love you too."

Morning Star nodded, before snapping his fingers and teleporting. Magnotris stared, softly, at the place he'd been for a few seconds before letting his shoulders slump and the tension leak out of his body.

That had gone well. Thank the stars. And... and he felt better, too. Everything had stilled in his chest - all the worries, all the doubts. It was okay. It was going to be okay.

There was a knock at his door.

Magnotris cracked open an eye to stare into the entrance. The knocking sounded again, firm, polite. He groaned, standing and trotting over to the door. Who the fuck was here at this hour? Jubilee would've texted him, right? Ah, well. He'd deal with it. Quietly, he reached out to take the handle.

Magnotris paused, hesitation clinging to his hand. The doorknob, metal, was not as warm as his boyfriend's touch, his boyfriend's body had been. And it certainly wasn't Morning Star on the other side of the door. 

He let out a sigh, braced his shoulders, and opened it. A Frag stood before him, dressed simply in a sort of robe with a belt around their waist, both arms behind their back. They were completely unfamiliar, and their gaze was somewhat clouded. Magnotris frowned slightly, tensing in the doorway.

"You are Magnotris?" they asked, voice light, airy, yet polite and controlled.

He raised an eyebrow, his hand still clinging to the cold knob, as if it could still him. "Yes?"

"You have been summoned."

Magnotris breathed in, then squared his shoulders, taking a half-step forwards. "To where? By whom?"

The Fragment reached out, taking Magnotris' wrist. Their grip was firm and tight, steady. Uncomfortable. He tried to wrench himself free, but their fingers dug in ever-tighter. "To Divinity."

And before he blinked, they teleported.