Polygraph

A little goofy situation like this could only occur at night. It made sense, but damn, Johnny hoped Node was happy with wasting his time like this.
This thought kept running through his mind as he skittered along the streetside, hoping nobody he knew was out right now, watching him run into the arms of the goddamn police station. If he got pegged as a rat just because he was doing something stupid…

“Hey, slow down.” Johnny would’ve recognized that raspy voice anywhere. His eyes had been trained on the cracks and gunk along the pavement until then-- he peeked up to see the door of the station ajar. 

Node’s head-- at first only visible by the red cherry-bud of his lit cigarette-- threatened to reach the top of the door jamb, but he didn’t seem to mind as he nodded backward, inviting Johnny in.

“You nervous, Baby?”

“Hah! Nervous,” Johnny tried to laugh out. “Move, I’m comin’ through.” He didn’t even bother looking back out at the street before bounding in.

His shoulders relaxed on their own as soon as Node shut the door behind him. He then gave his cousin a quick once-over, hand coming out to hold that smooth chin in place, then turning it this way and that. Either Node wasn’t cooperating or Johnny was getting older and weaker: his arm shook a bit in trying to avoid the lit cigarette between Node’s lips, dangling precariously near his hand as he maneuvered Node’s jaw about.

“Nodey, looking good, but not sharp, huh?” The kid looked like fucking frankenstein, but was as harmless as a teddybear. He flicked at Node’s jaw, and John had to cackle. “Dumbass, asking stupid questions like that.”

“Watch it,” Node huffed out, frown firmly in place. It didn’t ever seem to suit his soft face. “You’re here now, so be more, uh, I dunno... Becoming. Okay?”

He brought his gangly hands down on Johnny’s shoulders to face him to an old guy who must’ve been hiding in the shadows of the dark precinct’s hall-- his frown matched Node’s to a T... But maybe it was the thick toothbrush ‘stache that made him look far more serious. 

“Who…?” Nobody had worn their uniforms, which was a mild relief compared to the normal business Johnny had up in this forsaken place. Would’ve brought back some nasty memories otherwise. The old man took his time approaching the cousins, and as he stopped in front of John, Johnny himself had the unfortunate realization that he was the only ‘tiny’ guy in the room. He couldn’t help the sour expression that came to his face, but at least he matched with the old fart and Node, now.

“This is sergeant Cross.” Node gave Johnny’s shoulder a firm pat, urging him forward, and Johnny hesitated even then to bring out his hand in greeting.

The old man seemed to have the same idea, but Node continued anyway, like some poor old grandma trying to bring together her torn family. “He’s-- he’s my mentor. I, uh, talked about him, you remember?”

“Oh. Yeah, okay, I know,” Johnny reassured Node before weaseling out of his grip. He brought his hand up along his blazer and buffed it out, even hamming it up and blowing on his fingers, before giving the ol’ sarge a welcoming show of faith.
“You set this up for our kid, huh? He’s been looking forward to it; thanks a ton.”

Mister Cross gave Johnny’s hand a once-over before giving in and returning the handshake. His palms weren’t balmy, unlike John’s, but he didn’t comment on it. And though Johnny tried to wipe that frowny expression off his own face, Cross didn’t even attempt the same in turn.

“Node had me under the impression that we were doing this for you, John.”

Johnny barked out a laugh as they parted in their handshake-- he wiped his palm without thinking. “Well, maybe! I dunno. Thought it’d be funny, is all... And he liked the idea, too-- ain’t that right, Nodey?”

“Sure,” Node replied. He threw his cigarette in the dumping tray he conveniently waited near, then was the first of the group to cross the entry hall. 

Johnny was never sure how to compose himself in this place, and it was not comforting to see his cousin, of all people, seem accustomed to wandering about.

“This way. And, Baby--” Node called out, voice clear and loud enough as the sergeant and Johnny followed far behind, “Don’t forget, I ain’t gonna ask the questions. I’m manning the machine. So be on your best behavior for Cross.”

“Aye aye, captain--” Johnny gave a mock salute, then elbowed Cross. “Get a load of this buffoon, huh?”

The old man tensed under his touch ultra-quick, and Johnny stifled a giggle at it. It was pretty fun getting under a cop’s skin, knowing he was more or less free to do so. 

“He gets in the program and he thinks he knows it all. Hey, Mister Sergeant Cross, he always showing off for you?”

The sergeant gave Johnny a side-eye, but said nothing.
They still managed to walk in sync the rest of the way, passing numerous closed doors in the hallway. Hallowed grounds, they may as well have been. Johnny couldn’t make heads or tails in the near-dark of where they were at, or where they were headed, and to him, these precincts all looked the same, lit-up bright or not.

“So, what, staying silent to get in character already?” Johnny noticed Cross attempting to pick up his pace as Node turned into an open doorway. Johnny tried to catch up, but was the last. 

“Just-- just remember you gotta ask the questions, so you can’t be quiet forever, sir.”

“Cut the shit and sit down,” Node demanded of his cousin. He was already at the back of the room, where a dinky old table held dozens of wires and a big old hunk of metal with doo-dads sticking out of it. It was worse than being in a room with an Altair, Johnny thought, but wondered which device would run better.

He looked over to Cross, who had the bright idea to turn on one little light in the room, bringing the place to a passable, yet still dim level.
The old guy had loosened his tie and his suit jacket just to sit down. Johnny had to keep from giggling again. Just how could someone like this psyche him out? Paired with Node? Even more of a shitshow.

“I wanna laugh,” Johnny admitted to Node, before doing what he was told. 

He made a mockery of the sergeant, fanning out his button-less blazer before flourishing his legs as he sat in the old squeaky chair provided.

“Laugh now, cry later; I’ve been letting this thing warm up, so we’re ready as soon as you put that shit on.”

“Oh, so they are teaching you some things in cop school. You’ve never been this prepared ‘till now. Good job!”

Node simply huffed loud enough for Johnny to hear it, content to have taken his seat near the lie detector device.
When Johnny had turned back to sit forward in his seat, Cross had taken the liberty to give a sour glance down at Johnny’s thin fingers, full of jewelry. Take it off. It didn’t need to be said, really, it was something Johnny had heard before, polygraph test or not.
He complied while the old guy sat up some creepy mad-scientist-like bands across his chest and torso. It held a little lose, on account of Johnny being thinner than most of the bozos who got caught up in this kind of turmoil. Then, the thing Cross attached to him next, along his upper arm, felt tight.

“Ay, this thing run better than an Altair?” He decided to ask his cousin. His heart was threatening to speed up unless he let out some energy.

“A what?” Node scoffed after asking. He craned his neck to peer downward as the machine spurred further to life, the needle bouncing along the paper wildly. “No-- I don’t know. Shut up and just wait. I’m already getting your pulse.”

“This is gettin’ my pulse? What’re you doing to me?”

“He doesn’t need to know that,” Cross reminded Node.

“Oh. Excuse me.” Node cleared his throat. “Johnny, just wait, okay? Wait until, fuckin’-- just answer whenever the sergeant has a question for you. Stop saying random shit, just for a minute, while we’re doing this.”

Johnny attempted to peer behind his head, eyes itching along the corner of the far sides, then decided to nod, hoping Node saw.
He looked back to Cross, who had pulled at a loose sheet of paper. John couldn’t see the words through the paper; the light in the room was too dim to peek. He had to assume that it was a bunch of questions that Node had written to ask Johnny for this whole experiment. Now, Johnny loved his cousin to death, but it wasn’t until he was strapped to the mini electric-chair that he realized the guy always had the chance to get him to squeal now that he was a cop, or something, but he tried to temper that impulsive worry. They looked out for each other, in their own way, so surely that rapport could continue.

There was an awkward pause as the sergeant seemed to glance over the paper a few times, brows furrowing, mustache twitching.
'Processing, processing,' Johnny amused himself at the thought while he waited.

“You go by Johnny,” Cross stated simply, after some time.

Johnny stared at him for a minute, close-lipped and unsure. The man sighed and then tried again.

“Is your name John Galli?”

“Yeah. Yes,” Johnny finally replied. “Johnny’s my nickname, and--”

“Is your middle name ‘Leonardo’?”

Johnny pursed his lips. “Yeah? So?”

“Yes or no, Baby. He’s looking for a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’.” Node said with a great degree of amusement in his tone. Johnny frowned.

Still, the old man continued, looking quite put-upon. “Do you have seven siblings?”

John had to count in his head for a split second. “No? No, I…”

Node didn’t need to glance at the scrolling, scribbling sheet of paper to know that one, but it was a part of the work, so he did. A moment later he nodded his head to his mentor. True.

“How many, then-- four siblings?”

“Yep, that’s more like it.” Johnny remembered and tacked on the proper answer. “Yes.”

Cross continued, no sense of interest in these questions. “Are you currently employed?”

“Nnn,” Johnny started. “Yes?”

Node had leaned against the free space on the cramped table, elbow resting while his chin was supported by the palm of his hand. His eyes were glued to the detector. “Yes or no, Baby. Pick.”

“Yes.”

Node gave the sergeant a thumbs up, though he had no clue what Johnny was up to enough to get a paycheck.

“Do you have a special someone in your life?”

Johnny snorted.

“Mister Galli, I’ll ask again: do you have a girlfriend?”

“Yeah.” Dozens of ‘em. He thought twice about saying that.
Or would it be better to say lovers? His confidence seemed to falter at these haywire thoughts.

Node shook his head along his palm, giving Cross a thumbs down. He held back a grin. False.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Oh, come on,” Johnny laughed. It was too close to home. “No.”

Cross glanced over at Node before continuing.
“Do you dabble, use, or consume drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, or ecstasy?”

“No,” Johnny lied smoothly. Surely the lie detector wouldn’t find out if he was attempting to convince himself.

Node shook his head again and couldn’t stop his chuckles anymore. False.

“Do you require the use of prescription glasses?”

Prescription glasses, Johnny mocked Cross wordlessly. He then huffed and answered. “Yes.”

Cross continued without looking over at Node. “Are you embarrassed at the thought of needing prescription glasses?”

“No.”

Node was still chuckling, albeit a little breathless. False. At some point he was going to need these two to stop and give him air. It was hard to imagine this was training him for anything besides tempering his laughter at people failing miserably at lying, of all things.

“Ay, Nodey, your questions stink,” Johnny said. “Sarge, is he laughin’ at me?”

Cross ignored Johnny’s remark and continued, moving up along the sheet of paper. “Have you ever paid for physical company from another person?”

“What kinda-- ugh. No!”

Node gave the thumbs down, shit-eating grin still intact. False.

“Have you ever spent more than five-hundred dollars on an article of clothing?”

“Yes.”

“Ten-thousand dollars?”

“Mm-- yeah. I think so. Yes. Wait--”

While John mulled over the various clothes he genuinely spent money on, Node reminded him. "A single answer, Baby."

"Okay, okay-- god damn. No. Okay? No."

Node nodded again, then gave the true signal.

“Do you consider yourself physically attractive?”

“Yes. Yes I do.”

“Ripping through these,” Node commented with a soft laugh. He gave Cross the thumbs up, eyes still glued to the machine’s output. “Almost there, Johnny.”

“Already?” Johnny tried to grin, though his audience was not so stimulating. “I’m just gettin’ started.”

“Have you ever watched the hit television show Dallas?”

Johnny enthused without shame, like Node had seemingly intended. “Yes. The knockers on that Pamela Barnes broad-- marone!”

Node laughed out loud at that. Then, he gave a thumbs up. True. In all respects, the cop-in-training figured.

Cross cleared his throat before continuing. “Do you believe in the paranormal, such as ghosts, poltergeists, or malevolent spirits?”

Johnny paused for a second before answering. “Yeah. Why not.”

“Is Tano-- Node-- your favorite cousin?”

“No,” Johnny admitted with a laugh.

“Fuck you too.” Node still had a grin across his face as he gave Cross a thumbs up. True.

“Do you have a favorite cousin, then?”

“Not really...”

There was a pause as Node tried to parse the scrobbling machine. He gave out a thumbs up. Cross continued right after the confirmation.

“Have you--” The sergeant realized what he was about to drolly repeat. If his expression could’ve grown any more unamused, his jaw would’ve rotted off. “Have you ever worn women’s clothing?”

“No?”

Node’s thick eyebrows raised as the detector gave him an answer. His mentor let out a harsh sigh as he seemed to be nearing the end of the interrogation.

“Have you ever been indicted due to a felony, such as theft, assault, or money laundering?”

“Tch. No.”

Node was tempted to shake his head, but thought better of it while his mentor had to keep an eye on him. He gave out a thumbs up. True. Not that Cross would be able to do anything about it-- he made sure to get the old salt to promise.

“Were you afraid to take this test and be ousted on your lies?”

Johnny shook his head, and the intensity of his denial made the cords along his chest wriggle. “Nah. No. No, I wasn’t.”

“You’re a shit liar-- you look like your soul’s been sucked outta you,” Node jibed on the finish. “That was a total lie.”
He perked up from his bent-in spot along the corner of the table, his short-ish black hair threatening to tease along his eyes. He swept his hair out of the way as he righted himself, coming to stand, giving one last glance at the scrolling paper. Even though they were through grilling Johnny, the wire pen connected to the machine was swinging wildly. Node had to roll his eyes in part fondness and part annoyance.

“Well, you made it to the end, you little prick. How’s it feel losing against the detector-- what’d I tell you?”

“Shit, that was awful,” Johnny crowed. He let out a soft sigh before shaking out his nerves-- the sergeant dropped the questionnaire paper to begin reaching for all the equipment Johnny had threatened to toss off, delicately working all the velcroed pieces off and away from the smaller man.

Node had arrived before Johnny was clear, rolling his head along his neck, waiting to hear a crack before righting himself. He then held out his hand for Johnny to take and stand up. “Thanks for the practice, Baby.”

“An’ you need it,” Johnny replied without bite. He took Node’s hand and stood up as soon as the sergeant was out of his personal bubble, and gave another grand twist and shake. He felt it in his bones, free once again.

“Sheesh! So, how many guys get convicted on this piece of junk, huh?”

“Not many,” Node admitted. He turned to his mentor and nodded. Cross shrugged, and Node took it as a sign to leave. He gave a harsh slap to Johnny’s back. “C’mon.”

“See ya, sarge.”

“Goodbye, Mister Galli. Node.” The sergeant had been wrapping up the cords along the various equipment they ran with as Johnny was directed out of the dingy old creepoid room by his cousin.

Johnny allowed himself to be led out of the room and guided through the dark hallway again. It wasn’t until a few seconds in-- and away from the interrogation chamber-- that Johnny spoke up.

“That guy got his panties wedged up his fat old ass or what?” Johnny peered up at Node with a surly grin. “This where you’re learnin’ that shit attitude of yours?”

“He just doesn’t like you,” Node answered patiently. “Nobody likes you, Baby-- you’re an annoying pazzo.”

“Oh fuck off,” Johnny replied. His smile waned as he broke into a quieter, honest tone. “But seriously… I thought for sure you were gonna get me to squeal on-- I dunno-- something bad, or... Or somethin’.”

Node’s steps faltered, but never stopped in leading. Johnny didn’t need a lie detector to tell when he struck a nerve with his hairpin-trigger-delicate cousin. “Why’s that?”

Johnny rolled his eyes. “Jee, Nodey, I don’t know… Maybe it’s gotta do with you bein’ a narc all of a sudden.”

That presence-less hand along Johnny’s shoulder tightened, and the shrimp couldn’t help but flinch. “You know I was gonna do this when I had the time to. And the money.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever. I’m just saying.”

“Well keep saying-- it doesn’t mean anything. ‘Sudden’ my ass. I wouldn’t rat on you anyway-- stop making me out to be some bad guy.”

“I think you coulda found a way around your pa- you know, sticking with him- is all, without doing stuff like this. There’s better things to do, even if they're less fun.”

Of course he had to wait until they were near the entrance of the station to say it. Node predictably let go of Johnny’s shoulder after giving a nice, hard shove, aiming Johnny at the door.
Johnny had been prepared for some sort of outburst and rolled against the steel door instead of just splatting into it-- when he had turned against it, his cousin’s face was stormy.

“You said you wouldn’t talk about them,” Node warned. He stomped closer, then thought twice before bringing his fist down. Instead, he pointed, enunciating each word with a staccato tap to Johnny’s chest. “I. Don’t. Need. This.”

He backed up from Johnny, who saw no need to wither in Node’s tall presence. When they were face-to-face- as well as they could be- the posturing was to be expected.
Node continued, voice more shaky than angered. He began to reach for his cigarettes in his jacket pocket, eyes still fixated on Johnny’s own, his back to the door, shrouded by darkness.

“All that I just did for you, and you’re gonna talk about my damn family. Isn’t it enough, Johnny? I’m doing what I want, how I want.” He stuck an unlit cigarette in his mouth and took that moment to pause, hoping to give Johnny some ounce of consideration. “How is that bad? How’re you gonna fuckin’ shame me for trying to be better than-- than you?”

“You ain’t better than me,” Johnny scoffed, straightening out his blazer. “And I didn’t say nothing ‘bout you being bad; stop your damn crying.”

“Might as well have.”

“You act like you’re some tough guy, Node. I don’t buy it! You ain’t gonna fool anyone else, either, if you don’t keep your damn mouth shut. Show some humility, for Christ’s sake.”
Despite all that transpired, Johnny still reached over to Node and nudged him gently. Node barely swayed as he ignored his presence, lighting up a cigarette in the dark. 

Their staring showdown finally came to an end as Node glanced up at the large windows near the ceiling. Johnny continued with his wordless blessing. “You’re just tall. That’s all you got, and it don’t trick anyone. You know that? Bet some real nasty guys’re gonna think you’re on stilts and beat you down to size anyways, give you a taste of what the rest of us deal with.”

“You really know how to piss me off, Baby. Nobody else tries it.”

“Yeah, I bet… Call me a damn liar, you’re the damn liar. And-- and a creep.” Johnny scratched at his aching nose with a few swipes of a finger, then sniffed. “But shit, I gotta go. It was fun ‘n all, but, you know… I’m employed.”

Node didn’t move or say anything, but snorted derisively. He shooed Johnny off with a wave of a hand.

“I don’t mind bein’ your only family, you know. But you gotta learn to take what you got. Okay, Stilts? You gonna stop being a baby and man the fuck up, big guy?”

“Just stop talking already,” Node chastised his cousin. “And go.”

“Okay, Nodey, okay.” John brought his hand to the door, then paused to look back at the tall, silhouetted figure of his younger cousin. “Hey, hey. You didn’t forget about--”

“The chinese place next week, yeah, I remember.” Node nodded toward Johnny as he blew out smoke in his direction. “Since you think your cousin’s gonna leave you hanging. Fuck right off, you little shrimp-dick.”

“Ungrateful louse, with your shitty broken machines,” Johnny mumbled under his breath as he ducked his head down to leave the precinct.
He gave Node one last wave without looking back. Then, as soon as the streetlights illuminated his puffy mop of hair, he brought his blazer up to his cheeks and power-walked, stalking along the empty sidewalks.

“I heard that-- you fuckin’--” Node rushed for the door, peering out and keeping it propped open. He shouted for the shadows in the night to hear-- John sped up without hazarding any glances once more. “See you later, Johnny!”