Caroline's Loss

Caroline paused, taking a deep breath as she scanned the stormy horizon. Why had she come here again? her more conscious mind wondered. It had been as though her legs had simply guided her there, until she settled down in the still warm sand. The storm had not emerged gradually, but instead rather suddenly, leaving the beach she then sat upon dark and foreboding, where it had once been bright and calm. At least, it had been that way in Caroline's memories. The beach that faced her then, however, seemed to reflect her own mood. Bending down to examine the individual grains of sand, Caroline recalled the advice she had been given. It had been so repetitive that she was even able to then repeat bits and pieces of it: 

"You are strong. There are as many friends out there as there are stars in the sky, or grains of sand on the beach. You'll find someone else."

Caroline wondered if they had ever even felt what she was feeling then. She rebuked herself, recalling that they must have, or they would not have dared to give her advice on a subject they knew little about... Wouldn't that have been the case? Caroline wondered. However, of course, her thoughts yielded no answer from the grains of sand beneath her feet, nor from the rolling and tumultuous storm clouds. 

Had there been a breeze to break the silence, or even some rain, Caroline might have been relieved somewhat; it might not have helped her feel much better, but at least it would have broken the tension in the air. Caroline thought she could even feel the static crackling around her, but perhaps that was just her imagination. Suddenly, Caroline imagined she was trapped in the waves, drowning and gasping for breath. She was on the beach! She could feel her feet firmly planted in the sand where she was sitting, but at the same time, they were pumping helplessly against the raging waves. She tried to take a deep breath, but she could only feel water fill her lungs, as she sunk deeper into her distress.

Caroline gasped as her breaths finally seemed to yield some amount of results, and she stood up abruptly. She was panting and trembling, but she was safe. Her coat, which was still as dark as ever, still had not been touched by the cold water of the sea.

Sitting back down slowly, Caroline was finally able to take a deep breath and try to relax. Her sides were still heaving, and she was trembling practically right up to her horn, but she felt the slightest bit relieved... Why? she wondered.

She felt the breeze that had begun to blow then, and Caroline closed her eyes as she finally allowed the slight wind to caress her, to reassure her. In spite of the storm clouds looming above the place where she had once experienced so many joyful memories, the breeze let Caroline know, somehow, that everything was going to be all right.

It was stupid, she thought.

But it helped, even just a bit.

With these thoughts, the clouds broke, and the rain began to fall, drizzling down over Caroline as though crying with her. When had she started crying? Caroline could not answer even her own question, no matter how much she may have wished to.

Caroline gazed up at the sky, and the slightest of smiles was allowed to touch her face as her eyes lit upon a beam of light, cascading through the clouds.

Maybe everything would be okay.