triviallytrue:

necro-om-nom-nomicon:

icouldwritebooks:

moveslikekeithrichards:

i think the hardest part about this job is not being able to say What The Fuck

During my sophomore year biology class, we all had to dissect worms. One of the kids in class ate one. A few minutes into the class, the teacher was like, “oh, by the way, make sure not to touch your mouth. These worms are covered in super poisonous formaldehyde.”

The kid who had eaten the work went pale. The kids at his desk huddled around him for a whispered discussion about whether or not he should admit to what he’d done, or keep his mouth shut and hope he survived it. He eventually decided that he did not want to risk death, put up his hand, and very timidly informed the teacher of his little snack.

The poor teacher. She just got this look on her face, like she was considering switching careers immediately. Anyway, she ended up calling 911. I don’t know how things went down at the hospital, but the kid survived.

Right. We’re going to have words about that last tag there.

ballofstress9:

fanonical:

it would be really fucked up if your new minecraft world could spawn in as an abandoned world from another user

you’re just walking around the forest and you find this lovingly designed, clearly made by a human being, but completely deserted log cabin

horrorlesbians:

yippie!!! i have broken the cycle!!!! < is about to be trapped in a different loop

hbmmaster:

hbmmaster:

hbmmaster:

hbmmaster:

one of those false etymology posts but with the actual etymology of the word

I was today years old when I realized helicopter is helico- (as in helix) -pter (as in pterodactyl) 😂

sooo was anyone going to tell me that the -ter in daughter is the same suffix as the -ther in mother father and brother but under an exception to grimm’s law or like

OMG WAIT I FIGURED IT OUT

IT’S “LASER” BECAUSE IT’S LIGHT AMPLIFICATION BY STIMULATED EMISSION OF RADIATION

WHAT???

teaboot:

noaura:

The haunting ancient Celtic carnyx being played for an audience. This is the sound Roman soldiers would have heard their Celtic enemies make.

Man if I heard that shit while descending upon a strange land with my brethren I’d straight up dig a hole to die in right the and there, fuck the emperor fuck the gods that’s a warning straight from the bones of an older evil and whatever is coming is worse than death

soaricarus:

soaricarus:

pronouncing procrastinator like it’s a dr doofenshmirtz invention

you see perry the platypus, when i, hm… no, it can wait for later.

nonbineraryitinerary:

Does anybody else have suffer from “I stopped keeping up with this media ages ago but I have an extreme affection for its characters and concept. The writing just started to suck ass”

avalonlights:

bundibird:

I think I’ve worked out (part of the reason) why there’s been such a huge uptick in folks who don’t reblog things on here.

This post has like 14k notes right now, and the tags and comments and reblogs are FULL of people who didn’t know about fast-reblog, and – you guys have been slow-reblogging this whole time!?!??!?!?

In the interests of a) making your lives easier, and b) encouraging you to reblog posts, which is what keeps this site alive, here’s how you fast-reblog:

• On mobile: press and hold the reblog button. Your blog icon will appear. If you have sideblogs, all of the different icons will appear. Drag to whichever blog you want to reblog to, and release. Job done.
• On desktop: hold down the E key and click reblog. Job done.

You’re welcome. Now get reblogging.

as someone who lives by tags i’m begging everyone to at least try @new-xkit-extension /x-kit rewritten!!! hover over the reblog button and tag without leaving the dash, my beloved… among 8 million other indispensable features. i don’t get how ppl use tumblr w/o it. <3