im tired of online discourse. look at this family of quails

A knave and his sword

just a little sex

CC: 

Kermit: Oh, oh, uh... well, fine. Listen, after these messages we’ll be back with a lot of great funny sketches and, and some neat songs... hm, and, and maybe some sex-

Yellow Muppet: What?

Kermit, reassuringly: Hm? Well, just a little sex-

had a dream that I had a pair of headphones whose "low battery" sound was a weak and hacking dry cough

they keep todd howard locked in there

for our protection

one thing that will never fail to make me stop believing in something is the group of people who believe in it too. not sure what this would be called

its like. someone could say 'i wish there were more lunch options than peas in the school cafeteria i dont really like peas' (imaginary example) and i go yeah me neither. and then someone goes 'yeah peas suck' someone else goes 'they shouldnt even offer peas at all' 'honestly i cant imagine liking peas' 'people who like peas are weird!' 'if you like peas im going to assume you my moral enemy' and its like woah hey guys maybe im going to take a step to the pea likers side because this is getting weird

thegoodhypeofficial on ig

since mrs, ms, and mr are all descended from the latin word magister, i propose the gender neutral version should be mg, short for "mage"

some people think this is a shitpost so i want to clarify that i am dead fucking serious. make mage the official gender neutral honorific NOW. i want it on my passport. i want it on my bank account. i want doctors and judges to use it for me. i don't care if it sounds a little silly. people thought "missus" sounded crass at first. call me mg.

benefits of mg:

• easy to pronounce, even for children (though kids 4 & younger may pronounce it more like "mayd" or "maygh")
• ONE SYLLABLE!!! ("individual" is too goddamn LONG.) you have to be able to say it quickly and casually
• ends in a soft vowel sound, so it'll flow right into the next word ("ind" halts the whole sentence)
• fits neatly into the existing structure as a relative of master/mistress that can be abbreviated down to an m and one other letter
• distinct enough that it can't be mistaken for either gendered term (if you call me mix I'll kill you. it sounds like miss with extra steps)
• wizard.

drawbacks:

• there aren't any
• yes, i know about milligrams and magnesium. i don't give a shit. ms can also mean microsoft. who cares.

Keeping this quote to my grave

Last night I had a dream where I was filling up my water bottle at a drinking fountain and someone ran over and started to drink out of my water bottle as it was filling up and I got so mad I woke up

Tried to recreate it

pigeon loaf