[Image description: Grayscale digital drawing of Marcille from Delicious in Dungeon shaking and gripping her staff with a feral expression. She thinks, “If I go another goddamn minute without seeing her massive fucking jugs I’m going to end up on the news.” End ID]
Do y’all wanna hear about some absolutely crazy shit going down in the birding world right now
Okay I warned y’all this would be a lot but here we go. As background you should know that for many birders, the hobby is a lot more than just going outside and watching birds. There is a competitive angle where the goal is to spot as many bird species as possible and record these sightings on your personal “life list”. As some bird species can only be spotted in remote locations across the globe, it takes a decent amount of time, dedication, skill, and money to fill out life lists that number in the thousands. As can be expected, many of the individuals with these mega life lists become quasi celebrities in the birding world. Chief among them is Peter Kaestner, a lifelong birder who has been meticulously recording his life list over decades as the de facto top birder. As he has added to his list bird by bird, thousands of interested avian enthusiasts have been following along and celebrating his milestones. Most exciting in recent months is his intrepid journey towards becoming the first birder to ever record seeing 10,000 different species. The entire birding community has been watching him creep towards 10k with growing excitement. Kaestner is deeply respected in the birding community and there is great trust for his well-documented list.
So now the twist. Just as Kaestner was getting closer and closer to 10k, a previously unknown birder named Jason Mann suddenly joined an app called iGoTerra (not the most common app for birding records) and all at once added observations of close to 10,000 birds. Suddenly, Kaestner being the first birder to reach this milestone isn’t such a sure thing, and both he and mysterious newcomer Mann seem to be scrambling to count as many birds as possible as the race narrows.
On February 9th Kaestner announces he’s hit the milestone and seen his ten thousandth bird, the Orange-tufted spider hunter. The birding world rejoices! As a ~crazy~ coincidence, Jason Mann just so happens to announce on the same day that he has also hit the milestone and he actually did it before Kaestner. He writes an article about himself that is somehow both shamelessly masturbatory and also has that weirdly impersonal AI generated article feel.
Well obviously the birding world is a little skeptical of this random ass dude suddenly swooping in to snag this milestone that has been years in making. Naturally, people started looking a little closer at Mann’s list, and it has some… let’s say interesting observations. It appears from his own reports that Mann has casually rediscovered several species of birds and not bothered to tell anyone. Some of the most ludicrous observations include:
New Caledonian Nightjar- has not been seen since 1939
Manipur Bush Quail- only one suspected sighting since 1932
Zapata rail- Unbelievably rare, and largely inaccessible due to environment
Taiga bean goose- Not the rarest goose in the world but Mann’s reported sighting was from North Korea. And it was apparently the only bird recorded there. So he just went to NK, saw this goose, and that’s it? Weird.
These are just a few examples of many, many fishy recordings. The issue here is nobody knows who Mann actually is, and the only places providing information about him (such as his LinkedIn) are really bizarre in a way I don’t have time to dig into here. Mann (or someone claiming to be him) actually took to BirdForum.net to defend himself, where he offered a long-winded and somewhat fumbling explanation for his life list. He claims that all of these mythical bird sightings were erroneously counted by the iGoTerra app, and he hadn’t meant to include them at all. He assures us that the rest of the recordings are entirely legitimate. Mann said in his post that in light of these mistakes he is ceding his victory to Kaestner, but was quick to say he has still totally seen more than 10k birds- even if they’re not all recorded correctly. He sent Kaestner a vaguely condescending email that Kaestner responded to with, in my opinion, far too much grace.
So now the birding community is left trying to figure out this bizarre and unexpected outcome. Is Peter Kaestner in fact the first birder to record ten thousand birds? A shadow of doubt has been cast on a title that everyone has expected to be his for years. Some birders are sincerely congratulating Jason Mann for his accomplishment in the field, and others are suggesting he isn’t even a real person but in fact some kind of artificial intelligence birding psy op. It is absolute chaos, and nobody in my life wants to hear me rant about this
please don’t reblog this post a devilish temptress tricked me into making it and she placed a hex upon it so that every reblog removes a molecule from my body
when I was a kid for some reason I thought Lola Bunny’s last name was “Rabbit” and that she was actually Jessica and Roger’s daughter. And the reason she wasn’t in the original Loony Tunes is just that she wasn’t born yet
I mean can you blame me. Look them and look at her. She’s got a good blend of both of their features.
this is the only good head canon I’ve ever had tbh
