why didn’t gandalf just carry the ring to mordor himself with these tongs

like i’m picturing him being really careful and looking at it and carrying it exactly like this while walking or riding through the woods and across rivers and up mountains and through valleys and he doesn’t drop it even once except at the very end where he tidily drops it into the volcano. frodo sam and the crew and even gollum wholly undisturbed. sauron can’t find him bc of the meditative aura surrounding him which is generated by his immense focus on not dropping it

World's most tense egg and spoon race

this somehow became the funniest thing on earth in my head and I had to draw it so

as a white person i can confirm that cheese is basically like god and life to me. i can be baited with cheese 100% of the time. i will tunnelvision a wedge of sharp cheddar from the other side of the room in any and every setting

saw an opinion i disagreed with and didn’t say anything about it. +350XP

shoutout to crossdressing, jerking off, pain meds, 7$ beverage, and music for keeping me from killing myself at every minor inconvience

Adhd will have you too burnt out to eat or shower but give you the hubris to decide you can homebrew an entire d&d system on the back of a receipt

#yeah hubris is what the h stands for

i must not stir the pot. stirring the pot is the notifications-killer. participation in the discourse is the little-death that brings total activity obliteration. i will face the bad opinions on the internet. i will permit them to pass over me and through me. and when they have gone past, i will turn the block button onto their source. where the discourse has come from there will be nothing. only i will remain.

talks with my friends who are going to kink parties and having t4t orgies and doing petplay and then goes to sleep in my childhood bedroom and dreams of the snow, and rain

from @timeflow -

He’s a musician

the ghost of one specific homosexual cowboy regularly possesses Tumblr gays

WET BEAST WEDNESDAY

and the devout created idols in reverence of a god they could not reach.

hello

man me a sand

Make it the cutest man car door hook hand

i cannot begin to explain the emotions i feel every day knowing that this post i made in the middle of playing tf2 when i was 16 is going to be the one thing of mine that has made the largest impact on the world by a fucking mile

you could jerk off to this

I’m reblogging this because it is a nice color PLEASE ignore that last part about jerking off that is not what I wanted to say by reblogging this post tumblr staff could you please remove that rude comment from my post thank you very much?

we should name this color “jerking off green”