EMERGENCY COMMS OPEN
Hey my car got totaled! Trying to get a used car so I can get to and from work because there are no busses that go that way! DM me if your interested or msg me via discord (narvii)
I can also do simple goofy icons for $15
if you want to donate I have a ko-fi
You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.
Like imagine you find a 7 year old in the woods and she’s like my mom is gonna kill me because I’m prettier than her and she’s not kidding. You know this queen is that sort of person. So you and your roommates adopt the kid and tell her don’t talk to strangers. And she keeps talking to strangers and getting poison combs stuck in her hair and whatnot.
Like yeah that’s kinda stupid but also she’s seven. She likes apples.
Also imagine it from the hunter’s perspective. The queen tells you this bitch is prettier than me I need you to take her out in the woods and kill her. And then you see who you’re supposed to kill and it’s a 2nd grader. Like how are you supposed to react to that sort of situation? Kill a human child? No. Because you’re not a brainless evil minion you’re just some guy dealing with a cartoonishly evil monarch. Of course you let her go.
Bad look for the Prince of course. Even if she did age while she was in that glass case. He saw a dead woman and just decided to keep her. And once she stopped being dead he was like we’re married now
He did cause the evil queen to dance to death in red hot shoes though. That was kinda cool.
With the acknowledgement that I’m grasping at straws, is it ever directly confirmed that the Prince wasn’t also 7?
See, I think that still works.
You are the guardsman assigned to protect the eight-year-old Prince. You are currently in the middle of the forest because he absolutely had his heart set on “going hunting”, and the royal second-grader should definitely not be traipsing around the woods on his own. You let him go a little on ahead and he comes running back talking about how there’s a dead girl in the clearing and there’s no-one else around and he wants to take her home because she’s really pretty, Hans, and she’s all alone!
You let him drag you to said clearing and okay, that is one angelic-looking dead child alright, and on the one hand the quality of her clothes and the craftsmanship on the coffin (who builds a see-through coffin?) speak to potential Consequences if you simply carry her off, but also for the amount of vines that have grown on the coffin she looks extraordinarily un-decayed, so you should probably get the court alchemist’s opinion on that, and there’s no way he’s going to come all the way out here in his embroidered velvet curly-shoes. And also this kid is technically assigned by God as your natural superior, or something.
So fine. You hoist the coffin onto your shoulder (it’s not like the Prince can do it. He’s eight.) and head back toward the castle, Prince chattering blithely all the way. And then you turn your ankle on a rock and suddenly there’s a thump and a cough and a lot of shouting from inside the coffin and you have now become a key player in a tense political incident with the next kingdom over.
You should probably ask for a raise.
(via james-silvercat)
wildest part of the folger’s incest commercial is still when the brother mentions coming back from west africa and says “ahh, real coffee”
Ok as a brasillian I do have to add, usually the coffee from the farms that are the best get exported and the local market gets the not as good ones. If we want to buy the good ones we have to buy them from the imported section even if it came from here
Imperialism babyyy
My cousin lived in Ghana for a while and always asked for us to send chocolate from the US because she said the chocolate they had in Ghana was expensive by local standards, and always waxy in texture and not actually very chocolatey in flavor. Ghana’s top export is cocoa.
[image: a tag that reads “that seems fucked up ngl”]
(via kdccreative)
This little one acts completely feral unless you make the “mommy greeting kittens” noise at them. When my phone isn’t making them unsure they will come charging to the front of the cage for attention by the second trill.
You can see the body language change in the ears with the first and second trill real well
(via happybunnykat)
proud-member-of-hermits-united:
The problem with having lesbian moms is you try to be super cool and cut all your hair off and buy a leather jacket and wear boots all the time and then you go to some event in your neighborhood and all these women three times your age start cooing “oh you look JUST like your mother when she was your age, my gosh what a blast from the past, oh I just love your hair”
And let me be very clear, okay: I’ve seen pictures of my mom when she was my age, and she looked cooler than I ever will. My mom had exactly my fashion sense except she was two point five degrees butcher and habitually took over government buildings. My other mom was about six degrees butcher than that, and SHE had a motorcycle. Both of them have been charged with felony arson. I’m the prep member of my family and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Please tell me at some point in your life some dick was like “we’re calling your parents over your behavior” only to have a bigger, more badass version of you come strolling in
Look obviously that happened many many times, usually with misogynist or ableist teachers. But I have a BETTER story than that, which is that when I was in 3rd grade, I went to this tiny alternative hippy school—it was a regular public school, it was just small and staffed/run by hippie communists—and my 3rd grade teacher was a woman who had been in an organization with my mother, and they had done direct action together more than a few times. We’ll call her D.
One day I was sitting in D’s class, eight years old and bored out of my mind, and I scratched my name into the back of my plastic chair with a rock. Was this reasonable behavior? No. Why did I do it? Only the gods can say. I don’t actually remember doing the scratching, I just remember looking at the rock in my hand and my name on the chair and going, “HUH. That’s not good.”
So obviously I got caught, bc I couldn’t reasonably convince anyone that I wasn’t the one who had done it, since it was MY NAME, and as punishment for this act of arbitrary vandalism I was sentenced to recess detention for two weeks. It was October so this included Halloween. Halloween, to be clear, is a high holy day in San Francisco, and I was devastated to miss the informal festivities that would be occurring at recess that day, and I wept and wailed about this at home for some time until my mother decided that this was disproportionate punishment and took it into her own hands to do something about it.
So my mom walks into D’s office on a day when my mother does not have to be at work at a scheduled time, but D has to get her students from the yard in about ten minutes, and my mom sits down and says to her old friend and comrade, “Miranda is really upset about having detention on Halloween.”
And D explains to my mother why the detention was issued, what the circumstances were, and my mother nods, and listens, and doesn’t argue, and doesn’t show any sign of getting up from her chair. And just says again “She’s really upset about having detention on Halloween.”
And D looks at my mother, and she looks at the clock in her office, which is telling her that she has to be on the yard in 2 minutes now, and then looks at my mother again, who shows no sign of having anywhere to be, my mother with whom D has organized and successfully executed multiple sit-ins and takeovers of government & corporate offices, and D says, “Okay, she doesn’t have to have detention on Halloween.”Tell your moms that we love them.
You can express your love by donating to their organization, Prison Radio, which works relentlessly on a shoestring budget to amplify the voices of incarcerated people in the United States!
Their new donation link is here
(via james-silvercat)
I learned what sun poisoning is recently and now I keep getting scared when I see suspiciously pink white people out and about during the day. Like dude get back inside you’re in danger
(via kdccreative)
I got too excited while playing chess and told my opponent that I was going to slit his throat and slaughter him like a hog. something to work on for next time
you people remember too much about me
google-searchhistory-official:
reblogging SPECIFICALLY for the End Note which is widely applicable
For any trans (or really any queer) kids who are struggling through this right now, I want you to know
This is not your fault,
you are not wrong,
it wouldn’t be fixed if you were just somehow a different person
Because this guy is right, love is unconditional and this type of parent only loves you on the condition that you are exactly what they want you to be
Reblogging this because it definitely didn’t make me cry.
(via james-silvercat)
bring back dislikes on YouTube I wanna see the ratio on this new drake track
Here you go op
(via james-silvercat)
Sibling asked how ppl in star wars dance to jizz music and I had to give her an example
its literally not a typo,,,, thats what the genre of the music in the video is called in star wars canon
(via kdccreative)
the japanese “-ne?” particle and the british slang term “innit” serve the same function
Standard English: It’s cold, isn’t it?
Japanese: Samui desu ne?
British: It’s fuckin’ freezin’, innit?
i have to do everything around here
i hate this cause i did japanese for like a year and this explains the use of the -ne particle WAYYYY better than my teachers ever did. it took me ages to comprehend what this post makes abundantly clear.
my teachers: its like a, a little rise at the end of a sentence, to show that you are seeking a response, while not warranting the -ka particle which would make it a proper question.
me: ok. i guess i get that??
this post: its like saying “innit?”
me: oh. oh no.
fun fact: afaik, “-ne” was inherited from the Portuguese settlers/priests that stayed in Japan in the 16th century. It comes from “né?”, which the contraction of “não é?”, “isn’t it?”.
It’s LITERALLY “innit”.
oh so like “eh” in canadian
*un-Babels your Tower*
(via kdccreative)