The other week I posted the backlogs of my work diary entries and I caught myself insinuating that the security guard who was creeping on me could have been a potential predator given he assumed I was 17. And it's like I know what people might think like "Oh don't flatter yourself, no one thinks that" but I'm in a work environment where people keep asking me what grade I am in high school on the daily so I legitimately don't know what I look like to people. All I know is I really don't like how it came off like he was somehow "restraining himself" until he found out I'm 22.
However, I know it's an awful thing to insinuate on anyone. I used to have this awful paranoia after having a legitimate one come after my friends. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, thankfully I didn't as the person I pointed a finger at was a complete stranger during a private conversation so they'll never know, but like that's actually harmful and a miserable way to see the world. I used to be really into true crime, dateline, that never gave me the balls to actually deal with anything, just the gall and audacity to point fingers at innocent people for having "red flags" (so yhea doing much better now that's been cut off cold turkey). Though I did yell at the actual mother fucker once behind the safety of an alt account, so still no real balls.
No matter what he thought my age was, his behavior was wrong and made me feel legitimately unsafe. Since people give me tips and sometimes nurses give me snacks, I didn't think anything of it when he brought me food too. I didn't realize he was trying to build trust. He knows he's in the wrong too since it's been two weeks now and he has not even come close to my area. He had me believing that it was part of his job to just walk by and see how things were. The closest he's been since is the parking lot across the helipad, which is a good distance. I can not express how much this dude was in my personal space. He was actively cornering me between my podium and the wall, looking down at me like a fucking meal. Not to mention he definitely knew it was wrong bc he was spouting some shit about some old guy in the ER making girls feel uncomfortable; kinda all like "Oh good thing I'm not like that right?" Even though he goes and does the same exact thing to me. I don't get it I really don't get it.
So anyways ACAB, fuck all cops because they're all awful people, especially in work environments. Dude's really fucking dumb too like I don't know how anything I said could've been interpreted as anything other than "I'm tolerating your presence because I have told you directly I don't like bootlickers, I don't think it's 'badass' to be a cop ready to hurt people."