★ lazarus

his sunken eyes faced the ceiling of his apartment, fixed on nothing but the floating bodies that hovered just out of his reach. he knew what they were - phantoms that had no basis in reality yet seemed all too real in the nebula of his mind. he watched as these lithe, amorphous figures helplessly crawl towards each other, indiscriminate, longing to touch anyone who breached its orbit. but they could do nothing but spin in circles, reaching out into the empty space that divided them from the other, kept apart by some force that they were too foolish to understand.

before he fell deep into his vices, he had programmed a turntable to play at random intervals. indeed, he found himself too despondent to even change the record, but he didn't mind - its jazz sounds seemed to change depending on what drug he was on. he splayed his forearm by his side and slowly tied himself up with a steady hand. he felt around for a loaded syringe he had prepared before, took it in his hand, and pressed it against a well-abused vein.

he hesitated for a moment, however, hoping against hope that somehow things would be different this time, that these figures would break out and into his corporeal realm to stop him. but he knew better than to rely on those too blinded by what they were chasing to see him. 

instead, he closed his eyes and waited for the needle to drop...