◆ The Vent Board

Posted 8 months, 5 days ago (Edited 2 months, 25 days ago) by Ventmod
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ohhhhh my god every day every single minute of my life i will regret not going for the interviwe TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT for what.............. for ??? ? ? what ??? ? ? ? why do i make these decisions.............

ughhhhhh I hate feelings why do they keep messing me up and my relationships...;; 

ugh just kms as I'm just a mess and I hate myself and nobody cares about me :^^^^^)

nose, stop. you're not sonic the hedgehog, stop running so much ; - ;

ugh, so ti r ed...

please let me sleep

i feel sick and i cant do anything about it 

for the past week i’ve been leaving work at 4, but today i’m back to 5 and i ... did not miss the rush hour crowd 🚗💀

After being bounced around 6 psychotherapists and 1 psychiatrist for over a year (each one giving me a different diagnosis), I finally got properly diagnosed with a disorder we can help manage. I went to a PCP, a neurologist and had another psychotherapist confirm the diagnosis. orz Finally an explanation for a lot of my symptoms. /o/

I've never been in a relationship so i probably don't understand what it feels like to be in love. But, i'd assume a older and wiser individual with "street smarts" would have some common sense.
My mother has allegedly been keeping up with a guy she's known since high school. They are such close friends but i haven't heard of the guy since August.
Mother is more outgoing, nicer, but she also happens to be on the phone with "Guy" every time i turn around. Eh it's fine, i'm a bit skeptical to talk on the phone with him since i do know my mother's history with previous guys. (nearly all of them were cheaters, with the exception of one who just wasn't her type) So i didn't really pay him any mind.
weeks later he finally plans to visit and when he did he promised to take my mother, her mother and i to lunch. It was okay at best, and i couldn't figure out why my mother was into him. Few more days after what i thought was an ok visit i started getting questions about moving and mentions of the possibility of a proposal. Erm excuse me? I hardly know the guy, he practically comes up out of the blue. Marriage shouldn't even be a subject. And guess what? One morning my mother trudges into my room to tell me Guy is going back to his Ex.
Which i later find out is a toxic relationship of it's own. Complete with the ex using Guy's son for guilt trip purposes.
Mother is broken down and doubting her self worth. i try to give her a pep talk. But grandmother gives her a more realistic talk. Mother doesn't like that and distances herself from her mother. However, within a few days i have hope that things are looking up.
Didn't find out until later from my grandmother that my mother had misread a text and thought Guy had broken up with him so unfortunately they're still together.
But "they're going to take it slower this time" week of uneventfulness passes Guy wants to come over for his birthday. There's a minor problem about his son wanting to do something the day he's supposed to come here but that sorts itself out. He arrives we browse a store and during that trip his son calls twice. We head home and they go out of town for a party at a hotel. Next day Guy leaves early and apparently doesn't contact mom. She gets worried and wants me to text him. I tell her i feel uncomfortable getting involved especially when i don't know what i'm getting into. But F my feelings she want's a man.
This past week has been quiet to say the least. She comes home from work and goes into her room no hey no hugs. I know she's depressed but what about me?
She has friends, she has a little money to go get her nails done or to watch a movie and unwind. While i'm staying her for school i keep the house clean and cook when she doesn't order out. Once again i haven't been in a relationship. most of my "friends" moved on, erm i have an internet connection, and my grandmother but that's it. I could get involved with extended family but i couldn't voice my stress with some since word would travel fast.

 Tl;dr My mother is trying to maintain a long distance relationship with a guy i don't know and never heard about. She's apparently in love but the guy in question is still dealing with a "crazy ex" said ex also uses their son for guilting purposes and still has sway over "Guy." So in a way my mother will never truly be able to be with Guy.
I'm a part of this emotional rollercoaster as well because like most people i want to see my parent happy. And ever since Guy came into the picture it's been mostly one up and two downs. I wish my mother would give up trying to seek a personal relationship and move on. I don't have anyone i can trust other than her so it's incredibly depressing to go days without talking to her. And i know this stress can't be good for her health.

I'm so heartbroken. It hurts.

Mom's doing really bad and I'm really worried, but idk what to do, she can't move well enough for us to take her to the doctor;; I don't want to think about this anymore, I just want her well;;;;

how are you going to brag about how "ive made it on my own!" when you pay no bills outside of rent because your parents pay them (including gas for your car, wtf) youre not on your own and you havent "made it" either, seeing as less than a month ago you couldnt figure out what two buttons to press to use the clothes dryer lol......

I'm getting really tired of asking people on toyhouse leaving me on reply when I ask about chara trades, or etc.

It's  making me not want to try out for any other offers. I don't know if  people are bad at replying on here or what but it's probably the worst  place about it. I've had it happen to me on da a couple of times but  still not as much as here.

I'd like respect back please for the time I took to be 1 interested in your chara 2 the time to make the message and 3 offering 

Even  if it may not come off as rude to you, it may to be the sender since.  They take the time too as well as u looking at it, even if it wasnt what  you wanted, but it'd be nice to a hear a "No" even if it may be because  you're shy or you don't want to be rude, bc its even ruder to not  reply. I know people don't have to reply if they don't want to, but it's  still common courtesy just as if people were buying art or giving you  the chara, you want to hear a thankyou right? It's the same concept.

It'd be nice to hear, instead of being ignored every time I ask about one. Please and thankyou.