3 years, 1 month ago


Benoit "BK" King

SpeciesSqueasel (??? ? ?? ? ?)


Gender Male? Maybe, nothing? Something?


Occupation Nothing, being a Burger King

This nearing mid-age Squeasel has literally never worked a day in his life without giving up preemptively.
He is... Very very VERY chill. He is not a sloth in the literal sense... But i mean... He is. He really is.

If you gave him an ultimatum to save the planet by doing a single day of hard work over letting the whole dang thing blow up, he'd give his best shot for one hour before going "sorry guys... I tried. I really tried."

He sustains himself on burgers: his favorite burger is tied between blue cheese and bacon, or jalapeno cheddar. Favorite soft drink flavor is coca cola (and he comes from a region where they call it 'coke', before you ask). He prefers plain fries above all else since the burger is the star of the meal, duh...

When not searching out ways for spare change to get himself a lovely fast food meal, he's lounging in a tiny apartment and clicking through old American comedy television shows.
On rare occasion, he attempts to get a hobby outside of staring at a screen. Everyone he's in contact with calls these moments "genuine lucidity" but BK himself never seems too into it... Life just seems better to him when he can rifle through a bag of fries in one hand, and click the remote in the other.

-He never elaborates on what a Squeasel is, but you best believe him that it is his species.
-Daydreams about being a homemaking papa of tons of kids... Even though he doesn't have a special someone, much less a spouse.
-His true love in life is cheeseburgers, and as such, he knows how to cook a good one, but he always prefers others doing the work.

"Dude... I don't even smoke pot. I'm just really hungry all the time."