Fate: Ideal Balance

Salem disappeared through his portal with the Grail followed closely by Shielder, but Robin didn’t care. She ran back to the building that had replaced the Kotomine church. If she believed in a god, she would be praying that Kestrel and Falcon were safe. Panic rose in her chest when she saw half the building corroded away by the black mud. She jumped through the rubble searching for any clue to where her siblings were.

A voice called to her.

She turned and saw Falcon waving to her from an untouched area of the street. Kestrel stood beside him comforting a younger girl who was sobbing uncontrollably. Other civilians clustered in the perfect circle untouched by the grail. Robin ran to them, tears of relief in her eyes.

She wanted to wrap them both into a hug when she reached them, but something in her pulled back; a twinge of guilt tugging at her chest. She was still so happy.

“I’m so glad you’re alright! I was so worried you wouldn’t make it out! How did-”

“What happened,” Kestrel interrupted. She glared at Robin demanding an answer.

Robin hesitated. “I don’t exactly know. Something was wrong with the grail. It was… corrupted? It… it’s over now.” She glanced over the destruction left by the grail.

“So who won?” Falcon asked, staring up into the sky where the grail used to be.

“I did.” She knew she should sound more enthusiastic about something like winning a Holy Grail War, but there had been more losses than wins in this war.

Falcon’s eyes widened. “You won!? What did you wish for?”

Robin smiled nervously. “It’s kind of a long story that I can tell you later. I need to check on someone before we go home.”

Kestrel and Falcon glanced at each other.

“Fine, we’ll handle things here,” Kestrel sighed. “We are still the overseers of this war afterall.”

“Thank you. I’ll be back soon.” Robin ran towards the warehouses. She ran to the last one on the lot and into the deconstructed room in the center of the empty building.

A young woman sat next to Abernathy’s bed, holding his hand gently. She jumped up when she saw Robin but she kept her hand tightly in her father’s. She stepped protectively in front of him.  

“Who are you? What do you want?” she demanded.

Robin held up her hands defensively. “It’s okay! I’m not here to hurt you or him.”

“And how can I trust you?”

“It was my wish that brought you here. Long story short: I made a deal with his servants that if they helped me win, I would take on his wish for them.”

Morning softened.

“I realize I should have been more specific with the terms of the wish…” Robin sighed as she sat across from Morning.

“No, it’s alright. Thank you.” Morning joined Robin and sat back down.

Robin thought for a moment, the silence filling the space between them. “There is one last thing I can offer to help you, if you’d like?”

Morning’s brow furrowed questioningly.

“If you would let me, I can use the last of my borrowed magic from the grail to put you into a dream state and connect your consciousness to his. Essentially, what I’m asking is: would you like to talk to him?”

Morning smiled softly and nodded.

Robin pulled her tome from her shoulder bag as she spoke, “The longest I can hold the spell is about eight hours. I can’t stay, so I’ll summon a guardian to protect you when I go.” She began reading from the tome. Her words were unintelligible and strange but soothing to listen to. Morning’s eyes fluttered and she lay her head down on her father’s bed.

Robin finished the spell and read another one, this one summoning the black and gold gilded angel. “Watch over them, okay?” Robin ordered. The guardian nodded and took its stand by their bedside as Robin closed the book and left the warehouse.

She walked back to the center of the island to find her siblings, having finished helping the locals to a safer area, sitting on the remains of a wall discussing something that Robin could hear as she neared.

“What are we going to tell the Clocktower?” Falcon groaned tiredly.

“I don’t know,” Kestrel sighed, “but I think we’ve done what we can by ourselves. We can let the local authorities handle things for now while we give our report.”

Falcon perked up when he saw Robin approaching and stood. “You ready to go?” he asked.

Robin nodded, and they stepped into a painted circle on the ground.

---

One moment, Robin was on the remains of Santa Anahita, and in the blink of an eye she was back home. Her stomach turned and she felt a cold sweat growing on her palms. She turned to her siblings.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to Mother alone,” she sighed nervously, “but she might need you to be there after I tell her everything.”

Kestrel nodded solemnly. “We’ll wait for you to finish.”

Robin returned a nod and left them to find her mother. It took a few minutes, but she eventually found her reading in the study.

Egret glanced up from her book and her eyes filled with shock when she saw Robin. She stood abruptly and practically threw the book to the side as she ran to Robin.

“Robin, I was so worried about you! What were you thinking, taking off like that!?” She reached to wrap her arms around Robin in a hug, but Robin stepped back. Egret pulled back, hurt in her eyes.

Robin stared at the floor. “Can we sit down please? I need to talk to you.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Please, just… sit down.”

Egret hesitated, but then sat down back on the sofa. Robin pulled over a chair and sat opposite her. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out; she couldn’t find the words to say.

Egret leaned forward. “Robin,” she said gently, “what happened?”

“Hawk is dead,” Robin finally said.

Egret placed a hand over her mouth. “Wh-what? How?” she stammered.

“He was going to kill everyone. He blew up the island we were on, he was interfering with the protocols, he almost did kill several people, so I…” Robin clenched her fists, she couldn’t bear to look up at Egret. “I’m sorry, Mother.” She bit her lip and tensed her shoulders, preparing for what Egret might do next.

“You…” Egret choked, “You killed Hawk? You killed your own brother?”

Robin could only nod. Her hands were clenched so tightly that she could feel her nails drawing blood from her palms.

“Was it just you? Did you do it by yourself!?” She stood and approached Robin, her voice rising. “Robin, what could have driven you to do that!? Why would you-” She placed her hands on Robin’s shoulders and Robin reeled back, curling into a tense ball at her touch. Her breaths were rapid and short.

Egret knelt in front of Robin. “Robin?” she said quietly, “Are you afraid of me?”

Robin nodded. Her body shook and her eyes were shut tightly.

Egret softened. She understood now what Robin had gone through; not just in this war, but through her whole life. She pulled Robin into a gentle hug. Robin’s breathing froze in shock.

“I’m sorry, Robin,” she whispered, “I should never have let this happen.”

Robin’s eyes finally shot open. “What!?” She pushed her mother away to hold her at arm's length. “What are you talking about!? You didn’t do anything!”

Egret nodded sadly. “Exactly. I never did anything to protect you when you needed me; I never did anything to comfort you when you were hurt. This fear that you have of me, is because I never did anything to help you when others made you afraid.” She placed a hand on Robin’s cheek, “And for that, I am so sorry, my darling.”

Robin was dumbfounded. “But, I… I don’t. I don’t understand! You should be angry at me. You should want to kill me! Why are you not yelling at me - disowning me! You should hate me!” She stammered through her words, tears forming in her eyes but trying to choke them down.

“My daughter,” Egret interrupted softly, “I am your mother. I know you, and I can see that what you need right now is not to be chided or condemned. You need to be loved.”

“What…?”

“I have not been the mother you needed in the past. So for now, it is okay to cry. I will be here for you.” She pulled Robin back into her embrace. After a few frozen seconds, Robin slowly reached her arms around her mother and began to sob uncontrollably. Egret stroked her daughter's head, while tears of her own streamed down her cheeks into Robin’s curly dark hair.