Ira Glass

• mullet
• design note here.
• design note here.
• design note here.

Title(s): Special Agent

Birth Place: Glendale, Arizona

Country Of Origin: USA

Language(s): English, idk maybe more, I’m thinking on it still

Superstitious: low key worried about all the common superstitions like black cats and spilled salt, especially after learning that the paranormal is real

Education: high school and some college night classes occasionally, Occasionally

Economic Standing: moderately good, works for super-secret and dangerous government agency so the pay is good

Current Residence: travels too much for work, has an apartment outside of New York but is rarely there, and also that place sucks

Home Conditions: hasn’t been home in a long time and mostly lies to his parents about his life

Occupation: government monster hunter/paranormal investigator

Employer: shady USA government, DSA (department of singular affairs) uhh up to being changed I’m not good at organization names

Experience: still a bit of a rookie but has been working on the job for some years now

Rank: medium, mostly sent out to just check on things, not really given giant assignments

Supervisor: Cecil Baldwin

Work Ethic: work is basically his life so pretty good

Personal style: cheap suits and business (barely) casual even while hunting monsters

Accessories: transition glasses, he’s farsighted and is worried about using contact lenses even though glasses are sometimes inconvenient

Equipment: kevlar vest

Weapon(s): sniper rifle, hunting rifle, 9mm

Transportation: car (stealthy, armored, uncomfortable)

Collection(s): weird little antique store animal figurines, he picks them up after a job done at whatever town he’s in at the time, usually they stay in a bag in the back of his car, he hates when people touch them, also they’re kind of embarrassing to him

Close Relatives: mother, father, sister

Biological Mother: not very involved in each other’s lives, she was a decent mom but she was distant and never formed a close relationship with either of her kids, it only got worse when Ira started working for the paranormal division, they talk twice a year, once on her birthday and once over winter holidays

Biological Father: in the air force, pressured Ira to join the military after college because he was the oldest son, very strict and disciplined, and expected a lot from his kids, they don't talk anymore especially after Ira left the military and won't tell his dad what he does, got minorly disowned by him

Siblings: he has a twin sister, they were very close when they were younger but she thought Ira was a coward for letting their dad pressure him into joining the military and now she's upset that he won't share anything about his life with her, they try to spend holidays together as best as they can but it's becoming less and less often, Ira wishes they could go back to the kind of relationship they had as kids but he also doesn't want to put in the effort to reconnect and feels like the time passed that they could have reconciled, Lindsey is still trying for reconciliation but doesn't quite know how to go about it without being overbearing and nosy.

Romantic Interests: lol, no

Friends: only friends are coworkers, but like barely. They just tend to drag Ira along to stuff whether he wants to go or not

Pet(s): none, travels too much, but would like one

Relationship status: single

Height: 5’10

Weight: 145 lbs

Hair Style and Color: black but starting to grey a bit, has an unintentional mullet, tends to try and style it every morning but either its because motel bathrooms suck or he’s just really bad at it, his hair always looks kind of messy, he also can forget to get haircuts sometimes so his bangs are always kind of long, it’s not uncommon to see him clipping them back especially when he's trying to think or study, or in fights, it's easier to have his clothes look professional rather than his hair because clothes make a lot more sense to him

Eye Color: black, tired, like most monster hunters he's seen a lot of shit so he’s not unusual in his lack of sleep, some agents cope with drugs or alcohol, Ira just drinks a lot of caffeine and tries not to think at night or in quiet moments

Skin: pale, used to have a lot more of a tan in Arizona, but his family moved around a lot when he was growing up and he spent his first couple years working a desk job and now most of his assignments are on the east coast, he did get lucky though with having really good skin all his life, barely ever had acne, and that continued into adulthood

Teeth: not the straightest and stained with coffee, but it’s what he can afford with the dental plan the agency has, they’ll fix work-related dental injuries but whitening and straightening isn’t really in their wheelhouse

Diet: mostly fast food and other stuff along the road since he does a lot of travel, he takes a multivitamin though because he knows he eats like shit

Body Build: wiry

Fitness: gotta be in shape to kick monster ass

Tattoo(s): none

Scar(s): large scar across his face is the most noticeable one, it’s from his first encounter with the paranormal, even though it tends to bring up bad memories, Ira thinks it also kinda looks badass too, he has other scars all over his body too, the perils of monster hunting

Piercing(s): no

Dominant Hand: left

Accent: general american

Pet peeves: unprofessional behavior, working closely with others, chatterboxes, touchy people, touchy-feely people too

Sense of Humor: dry and dark when he does actually make a joke, which is rare, a byproduct of the job, you gotta be able to joke about mangled corpses and nasty monsters or you're gonna lose it, most of the things people think are jokes are actually him just being blunt, and some of the things people think are him being rude are jokes

Handwriting: messy but he covers it up with cursive because that's more professional

Posture: really good when he’s around others, too good some would say, but can relax and slouch when alone

Manners: good in theory, he has a tendency to put his foot in his mouth during casual social interactions though

Hobbies: puzzles, crosswords, sudoku, mostly things that take up your mind when you’re just sitting around, can clear you out in a game of cards too, that was the main family bonding activity, which was mandatory

Talents/Skills: good at sneaking around and strangely good intuition, also good at breaking into places

Sleep Pattern: bad

Strengths: getting shit done, figuring things out, planning

Weaknesses: working with people, asking for help, kind of weirdly off-putting to people

What makes them snap: personal attacks, annoying shit, people asking too many questions about him

Flaws: way too much of a loner, bad at communication, pretentious at times

Soft Spots: little things, they're cute, animals, really the only kind of relationship he wants with anything, no questions just hanging out in silence, also bugs, they're just cool and the most common type of animal he sees on the road

Morals: whatever the job demands, he’s very good at turning off his emotions so if the job needs him to do something nasty he’ll do it no questions

Fears/Phobias: silence, small spaces

Traumas: watching a bunch of his fellow soldiers (whats a military, idk) get brutally murdered by a monster, super isolating childhood

Crime Record: some petty stuff when he was a rebellious kid, nothing on record though because his dad got everything expunged so his future military career wouldn’t be messed up

Alignment: lawful neutral

Class: professional

Reputation/Impression(s)of others: doesn’t care about them or thinks they’re idiots mostly, comes from both his bad people skills but also knowing more about the world compared to most normal people, being a secret government monster hunter did give him a bit of a superiority complex, or exasperated one that was already there

Self-impression: literally so bad at self-introspection, and so bad at analyzing his own emotions that he doesn’t really have one, he’s not even sure if he actually thinks he’s better than most people or if he doesn’t but convincing himself he does is just a way to make himself feel better

Outlook on Life: meh, likes his job, feels like he’s making a difference, will probably keep doing it until he dies, probably on the job