Shamrock

Some girl in my class was talking about McDonald's shamrock shakes and this yeehaw dude in cowboy boots said they suck and then he looked me in the eyes and said "what you're gonna do is go to Arby's, and get yourself a mint chocolate chip shake." And he said it with such authority and certainty that I did so as soon as I got in my car.
I see your concern y'all but this wasn't a man telling me what to do. This is a man who had important knowledge and shared it with me. He was aiding me on a quest I didn't even know I was on.

You fool, that was Arby himself.