Profile
they/he * 42 y/0 * 5’6”
personality
At first glance, Gethsemane is unremarkable in their kindness and mannerisms. Conversations with them tend to go how you might expect with an office colleague or a friend of a relative, somewhere just above customer service-level friendliness and familiarity. In this fact they are reliable, and though they shy away from making their conversation partner privy to any meaningful details about their life, they are always, always there to lend an ear. Confess your every sin, and in turn they will give you understanding, no matter how horrible of a person you are.
Whoever it is, whenever it is. But can the feelings of one who empathizes so deeply with the plight of others remain genuine through and through? Perhaps Graves only tells people what they want to hear- and having shown little of themselves to the other party, what more are they than a hollow reflection of the people around them? Though well intentioned, it can be upsetting to discover just how much he tries to forgive and understand the world- including the entities that have brought suffering upon their supposed acquaintances, friends, and lovers. It is for these reasons that they are easily disposed of. After all, it’s not like you lose much when you lose Gethsemane; what did you even know about him in the first place?
It is a puzzling mindset to have, but one that Gethsemane seems to remain in, saddled down in endless empathy by the immense guilt that they carry.
For reasons that often go undisclosed, Graves is inclined to believe they are something irredeemable, an atrocity better left behind. Finding themselves in this place, they see any hardship that comes their way to be well-deserved, and seek to make up for it with what they can offer to others. Considering themselves the nadir of humanity, they’re desperate to understand what makes this awful world go around, as it’s the only way they can come to justify who they are.
a final dream before death
Gethsemane is hung from an ancient olive tree by a single leg, left to ruminate by his lonesome. Even with no escape from this unfortunate position, they manage to find peace- they know they are here because they must be here. Now is a time for repentance, and to gain knowledge from a new perspective - the view is quite lovely from here, after all. Gazing out into the plains and up towards a colossal gorge, Gethsemane can almost remember a time when they felt alright. That feeling is fuzzy, relatively warm and honey-colored- but these sounds, these smells- none of it is enough to bind the emotion into something tangible. Like blood-soaked twine failing to hold together a heap of decaying meat- he knows this isn’t something he should latch onto for much longer, anyways.
What was a gentle aroma of olive trees and chamomile shrubs distorts into something putrid- the all too familiar scent of rotting flesh. They know, once again, that they’ve chased that feeling too far. Filled with regret, as they always are. They can never, ever swallow down that regret.
There is a descent into fear. They can’t bear to be bound here anymore. Gethsemane needs to break free, or suffer the consequences- there’s something that’s been looming above him for a long, long time- why didn’t you take care of it sooner? Again, it’s too late. Maggots crawl out from under his skin as the roots of the old olive tree take him in as nourishment, yet he feels nothing. This is punishment. This is rebirth. Spiraling, spiraling, The Hanged Man does not know if his future is upright or reversed.
a little context (tw: animal death)
Gethsemane kills for a living. He operates an independent mobile animal kill business preparing livestock for meat processing, and dispatching those that are old, sick, or otherwise unwanted. They have also taken the more than occasional request to dispose of unwanted persons.
extras
-Seemingly unphased by the sight of bloodshed and violence.
-mixed greek/vietnamese, transmasc nb
