Beetlez

There is only one post office in all of Hell. Why the Infernal Plane would have a post office of all things is beyond anyone's guess, but its usefulness offsets any doubts about it. It is solely ran and maintained by a demon known as Beetlez, a tubby, rather unassuming creature of famously few words. Yet despite his incredibly small vocabulary, Beetlez has proven himself a successful businessman. Demons of every echelon use his postal service, from the lowliest dregs to the highest of lords, as the cost of his services are proportional to one's ability to pay. Some prouder demons scoff at this notion, but regular customers know the service guarantee: Your package's privacy and safety are assured with Beetlez. Given how heated the politics in Hell can get, some demons who want absolute security for their messages accordingly invest in Beetlez. As a result, many have tried to bribe and even extort the portly bug, but no one in living memory (and that's saying something, considering the possible lifespan of a demon) has ever succeeded. Beetlez takes his job very seriously. Unbeknownst to all who are spared his wrath, his full name is Beetlezbub, and he is a demonic lord in his own right. He has humbled haughty devils and mighty fiends alike. However, he is seemingly content with postal service.