KRYTAN SPOOK!'s Comments

H..... HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH * SPINS OUT OF TAR PUDDLE IN THE GROUND* *GROWS TAR MUSCLES SO BIG THAT EGYPTIAN SHIRT RIPS AND IS VERY SEXY* I SEE... THE SO CALLED KRYTAN SPOOK IS BORN. SOMEWHAT WELL-DRESSED AS WELL! YOU COULD SAY I AM A FAN... (MORE THAN I WOULD BE COMFORTABLE ADMITTING). STILL FAR INFERIOR TO THE GREAT PALAWA JOKO, THOUGH! HMM... NATURALLY. ACCEPTABLE SHOE GAME AS WELL..? GIVE IT A COUPLE THOUSAND YEARS AND MAYBE YOU COULD RIVAL ME! *CLACKS CLAW RINGS THOUGHTFULLY* MAYBE THAT WAS AN UNDERSTATEMENT; I HAVE VERY HIGH STANDARDS. LAVISH EVEN! THOUGH THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT. YOU SEEM LIKE THE KIND OF CHARACTER THAT WOULD DERIVE A SICK... PLEASURE... FROM SNATCHING MY PERSONAL BELONGINGS... SHAME. HMM... I WILL NOT JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER, THOUGH. IT'S FAMILIAR, ORANGE, PLANT-LIKE COVER...

*SIGHS* I ALSO WON'T ASSUME YOUR INTELLIGENCE. YOU SEE, WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS THAT I AM REQUESTING THAT WE MIGHT DUEL ON A LATER DATE. IN PRIVATE. IF YOU DO SO WISH TO, OF COURSE. I WON'T FORCE YOU TO DO ANYTHING. TAKE IT AS A CELEBRATION OF YOUR EXTSTENCE FROM YOUR FAVOURITE GOD PALAWA JOKO. NOT FOR ANY PARTICULAR REASON. I JUST WANT TO SAY HELLO. PLEASE TAKE UP MY OFFER. IT'S REALLY QUITE SOLITARY WHERE I LIVE. (THE AWAKENED AREN'T PATICULARLY.. GIFTED, LET'S SAY... UP HERE. *POINTS AT HEAD WITH TAR FINGER*) I DO, AT TIMES, YEARN FOR COMPANY OF SOUND MENTAL CAPACITY. *SIGHS AGAIN* GOOD DAY, MY FRIEND. *SPINS BACK DOWN INTO SMALL TAR PUDDLE IN THE GROUND WHILST WAVING SADLY*

KRYTANSEX YALDABAOTH

I understand that the pleasure gardens of your palaces were replete with every earthly desire when you still walked among the living... The war may rage but do your ambitions and interests remain? PALAWA, I must ask, are you still irreparably skinny? Last I knew you got seme'd on by a weak sylvari woman. How did that feel *MAD KING LAUGHS*? If we were to duel you would surely lose- do you remember when my multiverse counterpart mad king thorn beat your record in the raceway? stole your totally real vabbian concubine hat? All things I have the ability to do. We are connected. On the same wave length. You? You are a uke. I personally know all about the many years you pined after him, pleading to the universe to let you meet bone to bone...Unlike Oswald <3333333333, however, I am not taken. I am willing to let you be my slave if you so wish (consent is important, take note IGNATIOUS). I will let you cry on my beige tiled floor in my massive sex mansion while I read the concubine smuts to you.

YOU HAVE assumed correctly to believe I am related to the mad the king. We are friends we speak on everskies sometimes and he give me money. The only thing, relating to that last point, I believe you should know, is that I am incredibly poor. I used to have major funds and get still regular, frequent, donations of over 1000 gold, and yet it all evaporates on the terrain around my mansion. Please appreciate the trees. Please. The spiky ones with the cool faces on them and they seme laugh at you. Appreciate them, they cost 43 gold each and I have a whole forest of them.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

signed, #KRYTANSPOOK 4 EVAR!

d9f700q-0107312e-f58d-49ff-873f-8f19b99e

820

Although he is delighted to hear back from you so soon, JOKO is slightly dismayed by your offer. It seems rather one-sided. And to know that you are in kahoots with that thieving old man... my blue flame is somewhat dampened. I am a god over here in Kourna. Do not forget that. Why would I risk soiling my all-powerful reputation for the sake of some partial Mad King? I can't trust letting you into my Tar Palace if all you will do is take my precious, expensive belongings, and gift them to OSWALD. On the point of OSWALD, not once did The Great PALAWA JOKO yearn for his touch. I do not stand for these shameful fabrications. I will not weep upon your floors for the sake of companionship. I strongly believe in equal rights for all. Especially me (Maybe slightly better rights for me... but that isn't the point.).

We could come to an agreement, if you do so wish to. I won't shake my plentiful money bags in your impoverished pumpkin face if you don't attempt to enslave me if I do visit your property. I do have an army of the dead, after all. Guessing by your relations to OSWALD, I assume that your Courtiers are all living? Surely I would win if a war was to break out. I won't threaten you, though. Just know that Krytans are vulnerable to my treasured SCARAB PLAGUE. To have your own people turned against you would surely hurt, no?

Revise your offer, and I may just accept.

(Also, as a side note, I am not skinny. I do believe that I am of a rather healthy weight for a Lich King. And my skin does not fall off. Let these rumours fall on deaf ears, I beg. JOKO is a god of great reputation, and I do not wish for that to change.)

KRYTANSEX YALDABAOTH

Umm okay my little lmao… let’s clear some things. Up here. Where I live, there used to be a joko, and you know WGAT happened to him!??????!??!! He got fucked. He got turned into a concubine. To my knowledge this is sure to happen to you in turn whether it be by me or by a certain human noble 🤤…You also seem to be acting like no one pays money on guildwars. everyone pays money. I am guildwars RICH. I bought the joko story I know WGAT happens to you bitch. I know you get eaten (and not in the way. That you would think ;) ) My offer was in fact a blessing in your case and to know that you see it as anything else is rather disheartening big sir. Oswald and I have a rather close relationship (on everskies) and you seem to believe he hasn’t told me about the time you showed up to his clock tower while you were in HEAT! HOO I would have never assumed you were an omega, but now that I know I am glad to inform you that I am an alpha, your opposite. Consider for just a moment the things that means for you. As well, you know how Oswald is particularly good at thievery? Once you get this message, check your heat suppressants. You’ll be shocked to know what’s happened to them…

Another thing you misunderstand is that literally every commander is a MAD KING THORN fan. Do you have any seasonal events or am I missing something? Other than your… fractal (which, I should add, I don’t even know why you have a fractal you should stop that) you seem to not have much arenanetcolin support.
my offer still stands. Choose not to accept and I will appear in your house and lull you with my alpha scent.

(P.S., no idea your skin fell off that’s HILARIOUS! And on the topic of your weight, you’re practically skin and bones! At least oswald and I haven’t any skin, I can’t imagine what it’s like so feel touch again, whenever you walk on something you…. Feel it. And people have the ability to SET OFF YOUR NERVES you Nerrrrrd)

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-KRYTANSPOOK

(IFORGOTTOSETTHECHARACTERTOKRYTANSEXNOOOOOOOO)

820

Heh. Haha... great work. I really did hide those away. I did a pretty good job as well. *Sighs* not good enough, it seems. Mind... giving them back..? I... kind of need them, haha.

No, seriously... I'm not kidding! Somehow you've picked the WORST POSSIBLE TIME to pull of this little trick of yours. The WORST. I'm sure that you can assume what is being implied here...

NO more foolery. The great Palawa Joko has put his foot down. I request that you return what I need and we shall not speak of each other again. I will NOT forcefully claim your territory and put you to a PAINFUL death with NO hope of reawakening, and you and Oswald WON'T take MY personal belongings EVER AGAIN.

OR we could have a peaceful meeting on one of our sacred lands and sort this out. MAYBE even forge an alliance and rule the world jointly. ONLY, though, if you RETURN MY MEDICATIONS! I INSIST! (I do not wish to spend... a while.. alone in my lavish palace, forced to deal with 'you know what' ).

(It seems you really AREN'T as intelligent, even in comparison to mere OSWALD. You are but a gullible jester. These rumours are created only to fool the WEAK OF MIND (Such as you, it seems)! Come to my palace with what I require to be returned and I, PALAWA JOKO, will prove that my skin does not, in fact, fall off WHATSOEVER!)