Thrushleaf

thrush was found by a member of a twolegplace colony and raised by the group alongside holly, a slightly older tom who became thrush's best friend and adopted brother. holly once told thrush he was "pretty like a  molly" and he never got over it. which could mean nothing. they left the colony together to set out on their own path and stumbled into windclan, who took them in because their leader, meadowmist, had seen them in a vision. he took holly as a healer apprentice, and thrush trained as a warrior.

it turns out windlcan's leader was actually a cult leader- a healer that deposed the actual leader some time ago and was allied with another clan on the other side of the territories. by the time they realized just how bad things were, they were in too deep. hollyfang was nervously following every order meadowmist gave him, and thrushleaf was doing his best just to feel like he wasnt burdening the clan- including keeping it to herself when she realized she didn't want to be called a tom anymore. she was too nervous to tell anyone she was trans, even hollyfang.

suddenly the rumored rebel leader working against windclan and thunderclan showed up in windclan's camp, sent there as a prisoner. applescar was sullen and silent, nothing like the gossip thrushleaf had heard about the ferocious undersized warrior betraying her own leader and former mentor. but she slowly opened up to sagespeckle, the large molly that also never talked to anyone and had been tasked with guarding her. thrushleaf found applescar easier to talk to- since she was a prisoner, thrushleaf wasn't worried about how applescar saw her. applescar became the first and only cat thrushleaf could come to with her concerns about her brother's isolation, and her gender.

it wasnt until the final battle kicked off that thrushleaf realized what all was going on- and how involved her brother was in it. she tried to make sense of hollyfang's frantic vague warnings, and then a few days later he was pelting down the moor, shouting at the top of his lungs as he ran toward camp that thunderclan's rebellion needed help immediately. sagespeckle was able to fill her in a little bit as they tumbled out of camp to gather support from riverclan, but it wasnt until after everything died down that she got the full story. hollyfang was a wreck, and kept telling her he only wanted her to be safe. he's overwhelmed with his own guilt and emotion, and thrushleaf realizes he's been like this for a while.

hollyfang decides he wants to leave the clans. thrushleaf does not want to leave the clans. she's finally building a life that feels real and solid.
hollyfang leaves her behind in windclan. she's devastated to lose her brother like this, but feels slightly better that he's leaving with a  group and not on his own.

with meadowmist dead and hollyfang gone, thrushleaf has to step in as windlcan's healer. she convinces herself that she's fine with it, it's more or less her obligation to do so as the only cat with enough medical knowledge, but she was surrounded by even more constant reminders that hollyfang was gone. that she hadnt been enough to make him stay.

then she felt bad for feeling anything negative about hollyfang when he'd clearly been in so much pain and stress the whole time, all for her sake. she frequently spiraled over any negativity towards hollyfang, the same way she'd spiral over her worthiness to be a windclan cat. thrushleaf has ocd by the way

thrushleaf had become friends with sagespeckle, slowly at first and then all at once after the war and after hollyfang had left. when sagespeckle finally met her family in riverclan, she started inviting thrushleaf to come visit with her at the border, and thrushleaf started befriending featherleg and troutshimmer. sagespeckle tells thrushleaf she and her mother are thinking about moving to riverclan, and invites thrushleaf to join her. thrushleaf cant imagine abandoning her post, but she isnt happy in windclan, either. she was as close to happy as she could be when she was a warrior and her brother was still there, but now she felt more out of place than ever.

thrushleaf starts getting strange signs that end up pointing her to an apprentice named flickerpaw. when she approaches flickerpaw about the signs, flickerpaw admits she's been having strange dreams that she'd been ignoring, but were connecting now with thrushleaf's visions. flickerpaw switches to healer training, and thrushleaf is... a bit morose. she feels secure in knowing she's meant to be here, that she has a duty set out for her, that she cant be a burden to windclan because she's training their next healer, but she feels all the more trapped  with the responsibility. and then she feels bad about thinking negative thoughts and then she feels bad for letting her negativity and fear get to her and then she misses hollyfang and then she feels bad for almost resenting his decision to leave- she's still a mess.

flickerpaw learns well and catches up rapidly. too rapidly. faster than any cat should be learning these things. flickerpaw also becomes very distracted in anything that isnt related to her healer training, she gets distant and mysterious in a way thats much too reminiscent of hollyfang. flickerpaw has been in contact with starclan more than any regular healer normally is, and she's been taught by starclan healers for the last couple moons. at a halfmoon meeting, thrushleaf is more or less told that she can step down. starclan has seen her struggle and pain and will continue training flickerpaw themselves. thrushleaf follows sagespeckle to riverclan, where she gets closer with featherleg and meets another warrior named cedarflame. featherleg is often sullen and flat in a way thrushleaf can deeply relate to, and cedarflame is proud and snarky and unafraid to show off, and etirely unashamed of being born outside the clans. thrushleaf is absolutely taken with both of them