[sun] Saya

Saya is never proud of the person she used to be. Growing up in an extremely shielded monastery and believing that the monks - the sisters - who raised her could do no wrong has left an impressive chasm between her childhood memories and present reality. After all, how could those who cared so much for her, be terrible murderers and thieves?

She’s never been truly empathetic from the start, it’s a conscious choice that she makes every day when she wakes up to improve herself from the kind of person she was only a few short years ago. Her sisters had taught her from the moment she could walk, that the only people to care for were herself and their family. Saya never got involved with other peoples’ business unless she had a personal stake in it as a result. For the same reasons, the brunette wasn’t always so forgiving in nature either. It takes a few small mishaps before she finds herself drowning in what she now deems as bad habits. To hold a grudge against those who have wronged her, to remind herself to remain grounded and to try to see from another perspective are all choices she has to remind herself of. For all that she attempts to forgive others for, there never seems to be room to forgive herself.

Day to day life now is a precarious balance. As a child, Saya had always been the quintessential ‘head in the clouds’ character. She believes that some of the life lessons her sisters had taught her were true, for if she wandered with the same childish naivety then she would surely be swindled and robbed of all her possessions. Saya approaches life with a spoon of skepticism, wishing to give others the benefit of the doubt, and always taking statements with a grain of salt.

What Saya wishes she could finally shed is her underlying upbringing. The past never seems to die and the same can be said for the vitriolic wrath that spews out of her mouth when angered. Never one to fully trust others, she makes decisions for herself, and if she feels like the situation calls for it, Saya has no qualms with making decisions for others. In her mind, if they are not capable of making those decisions, she will do it for them. Despite trying to convince herself otherwise, Saya hasn’t sworn off violence. It is a bold-faced lie that she applies to her eyelids every morning.