Profile
Chaotic neutral, chaotic depressed, chaotic dumbass. Sidewinder is a tiny, jacked courier, just the shortest little weirdo, and she might very well be the stupidest person in all of Nevada. But she ain't letting that ruin her day! She's got wildly good luck, wildly bad impulse control, and a massive stake in the future of New Vegas that she’s happy to hold tight. Isn't the most morally decent person, but, hey! She tries her best. Good at dubious sciences, huggin' dogs, and punching her enemies so hard they die.
Appearance
Sidewinder is SHORT and DENSE. She’s ripped as hell, hard to move and even harder to knock down. Her biceps are ginormous and so are her boobs. She’s got a weirdly top-heavy silhouette, and a very sturdy facial build. Her hair is fire engine red, her eyes are brown, and she has a, quote-unquote “tiny, shitty ass.” And that’s all there is to say on that!!
- Her hair is naturally that color
- It's also almost always up in a ponytail--when Sides' hair is down it's a sign she's not doing well, emotionally
- Has a scar along the left side of her forehead from being shot there.
- Usually seen wearing the 'uniform' of a Kings' member, especially the leather jacket.
- Thick eyebrows
- Body type: Shaped like Crash Bandicoot
Personality
- Impulsive
- Brash
- Clumsy
- Oblivious
- Outgoing
- Undaunted
Unless she’s trying her absolute best to get somebody to see things her way, Sidewinder is a mess in your average conversation. She’s a little too mean, a little too loud, she talks like she’s trying way too hard to be hip with the teens. She’s good-intentioned, friendly most of the time, just clumsy physically and socially, and more than a little unaware of anyone else’s feelings on any matters, ever.
She just doesn’t think things through! Her impulses get the better of her near daily, but she’s laidback enough to let whatever the consequence just sort of wash right over her. Sidewinder takes things one day at a time, but is determined to do it with things and people she cares about by her side. Sides believes strongly in fairness and even playing fields, and has a stronger sense of right and wrong than she truly realizes; she doesn’t like or want to hurt people who don’t deserve it. She hides a lot of self-loathing and sadness underneath her tough, playful exterior, and of all the fights she picks, she brawls with her own depression perhaps most intensely of all.
She’s just… kind of a dummy! And she gleefully embraces it. No time to be sad when you’re loudly wondering what color a Green Gecko is, after all.
Likes
- Gambling and getting into fights
- Animals
- Robots
- Noise
- Not thinking about things
- Hawaiian shirts
- Dad rock
Dislikes
- People who remind her of her father
- Quiet, empty rooms
- The NCR
- Rigged games and unfair challenges
- Pears
- The sheer concept of "stealth"
- Herself, for the most part
Skills & Abilities
History
Sidewinder was born on a farm outside New Reno, and she was out of there by the time she was 14, fleeing a nightmarish home life and looking, desperately, for a place to belong. She found it for a time in New Reno proper, training under a local boxing legend, learning how to punch, how to be cunning in a fight, how to spot an opponent's weak spot and never miss a hit. She took her new name from her boxing moniker, felt more at peace in that decision than she’d ever been.
When she grew restless again she took up courier work, enjoying the open road and long journeys to anywhere and everywhere. She was never truly Courier Six, but a Courier Five who switched some package labels around, and she paid the ultimate price for her switcheroo. Sidewinder was shot in the head, left to die, but die she did not. Instead, she got up, headed out into the desert, and got herself caught up in all manner of misadventures, culminating in one fateful decision to try and take New Vegas all for herself. Now that was her kind of town.
Trivia
- Sidewinder is a cyborg. Her heart and spine are mechanical!
- Considers Yes-Man a near and dear friend. Loves all Securitrons, honestly
- Collects Dinky the T-Rex action figures and covers the Lucky 38 presidential Suite in them. She has over 500.
- Calls her right fist 'Cash' and her left fist 'Presley'.
- Rex is her favorite companion. She's strong enough to pick him up!!.
- Her signature weapon is the Tesla-Beaton Prototype Cannon, because it's "loud and constantly falling apart, just like me." She also greatly enjoys Deathclaw gauntlets and a good 'ol fashioned pair of brass knuckles for hand-to-hand tusslin'.
- Returns to Big MT frequently, and has called every male member of the Think Tank "dad" on accident at least once.
- She drinks an absolutely inhuman amount of Sunset Sasparilla.
