About

Jaggedstripe was never a popular warrior. From kithood to an adult he did not gain a zest for Clan life and seemed to put in as little effort as possible, floating by on patrols and tasks. It was a surprise to everyone when he returned to camp one day with a stark white kit clamped in his jaws. The mewling product of him and a kittypet across the border. ShadowClan did not need anymore excuses to dislike the kitten. Her heritage spoke for her enough. But the bright white pelt brought ill-ease to even the most accepting of warriors. It awoke ShadowClan superstitions of white cats being the physical manifestations of ghosts, here to bring revenge on an unjust death from their past. The kit was a bad omen and Jaggedstripe had brought her right into their camp.

Dappleshade was a practical warrior and probably the best queen for the job in regards to taking in a stray kit with questionable origins and a questionable pelt. She saw the benefit of adding to ShadowClan's numbers if nothing else. But she wasn't a soft mother. She wanted sensible kits. Kits who acted beyond their age. And for Dawnkit, she never seemed to meet that expectation. Dawnkit was an explosive ball of emotions and never held back from unleashing them on her denmates. She was loud and boisterous and did not cower in the face of another kit's wrath. Or even the wrath of adults. She was much too bold for a kit ShadowClan had graciously let stay in their camp. Much too argumentative towards kits who were clanborn through and through. If there was one thing Dawnkit needed, it was lessons in humility and gratefulness.

Dawnwind grew up facing wrath after wrath from her Clanmates. Her stubborn spirit kept her from backing down under the duress though. She belonged in ShadowClan. They weren't going to scare her away. The only one who seemed to understand that was Ryder. And sure, Ryder fit much better into the cliques of her denmates than her. He slipped seamlessly into their life effortlessly while she was left to flounder in the hidden tides of their ire. But he understood. They were both born outside the Clan. Outcasts. The two were together in this struggle even if he was quickly pulling far ahead of her. They were together.

He just kinda really sucked at comforting her. It wasn't his fault when Dappleshade died and he failed to bring her down from her panic. She was the one panicking and making a scene. Ryder hadn't done anything wrong. It was she who decided to take off. To get lost in twolegplace and find a calm and reassuring presence in an unfamiliar kittypet. She just needed some comfort. A cat who would see her pain and fear without the extra baggage of her heritage and expectations and dead mother and lying father. She was just another cat to Josai and it was freeing and good and she'd return to Ryder and ShadowClan after she calmed down.

Her stomach got larger and her movements got clumsier and she did not calm down. These weren't Ryder's kits and Ryder was not interested in them or her. Josai wasn't either.

The blur of the following moons were a hard thing for Dawnwind to remember. Sometimes she got flashes. A memory. A spoken sentence. But what's real and what's made up is a tangle of sticks and foliage too twisted up to pick apart. She knows she had multiple kits. She knows they were all born still except one. She knows the queen Snakefang suckled her son. She knows she now has a permanent nest in the medicine cat den. She knows she has good days. She knows her bad days vastly outnumber them.