Glutton Mage

STUDENT WIZARD REVOLUTIONIZES FOOD INDUSTRY

UR-HADESH, Yienza — Indiscriminate diners and fussy eaters alike may soon find themselves rejoicing thanks to a recent development by a student at Yienza University. Early prototypes of this marvelous invention-- specialized metal cylinders, each housing a disposable pocket dimension-- are able to store and deliver piping hot, fully assembled meals as if prepared just seconds ago. The inventor claims this manner of preservation lasts indefinitely, and could theoretically house a nigh-infinite amount of meals within the confines of a single container. This novel application of metaphysics, should it pass all the requisite safety inspections, could blow all other canning methods out of the water - and make its young creator a fortune.

"It was really quite obvious in hindsight," says ░░░░░, the mastermind responsible for this un-can-ny method. "We'd been working with astral planes all semester. It was only a matter of time someone with an intellect like mine would put two and two together. Thankfully, and unsurprisingly, no one else came close." We asked the humble wizard if he had any plans to share the details of his marvelous discovery with the world. His response? "Oh, Heavens, no. It's about time the world remunerated my genius. In fact, I've already come up with the branding. How does "The Great Gastronome" sound to you?"