A Pleasant Childhood

Vaugn grew up in a loving home, being raised by his two beloved parents. Throughout his childhood, he was raised in a peaceful and healthy environment with their home located in a quiet subdivision, a distance away from the chaos of the city. His father works as a Chief Operating Officer of a bank while his mother is a stay at home parent and spends most of her time taking care of the children. Though they’re not rich but they’re financially doing well due to his father’s job. His income was enough to support his family’s needs while also having the budget to treat themselves like outings. Because of this, Vaugn and his family had always been spoiled by his father. He always takes them out to malls, swimming trips and has even thought of travelling with them to other countries when his children are old enough.

His father was such a family man and wholeheartedly believes that creating good memories is the key to having good relationships with his children. He always makes sure that the time he spends with his children will always be positive even in times when they’ve done things to disappoint him. His thinking had been ingrained to Vaugn that he had come to see his father as a major role model for many things. Vaugn looks up to his father for his success, his hardworking nature, his intellect, his leadership qualities and most especially for being such a great parent. He would always turn to him for guidance. Whether it would be asking a silly question or needing assistance with his son’s math homework, his father never withheld an answer and does his best to provide whatever his son asks for within reason.

No doubt that Vaugn is incredibly close to his father but he is just as inseparable to his mother as well. His mother was selfless, always looking after his wellbeing and nurtured him his entire childhood, her presence is always around him for the majority of everyday since his father still has to attend work. Vaugn is shown to be more physically affectionate around her. He always clings to his mother when he feels nervous, reaching out to hold her hand every time or wrap his arms around her. To him, she’s definitely a comforting presence that relieves all his troubles. As for his little sister, she was born only later on when he was 8 years old. Their relationship was quite alright though not much can be said since she was only an infant at that time. Vaugn does like to help his mother prepare milk for her, change her clothes and look after her in general.

When it comes to his social life, Vaugn has always been really quiet and reserved as a kid. Due to being sheltered and from lack of proper socialization, he tends to be withdrawn from other children and it didn’t help that they made fun of him for some of his weird quirks. Which made Vaugn a lot self-conscious of how he presents himself growing up. He often snaps back at them due to his short temper and has caused some fits that ends up driving most of his classmates away, intimidated by him. Vaugn doesn’t bode well with more timid and sensitive students because of his cheeky and blunt nature. He mostly feels lonely during his time at school but that doesn’t mean he’s completely alone. He did have some friends who never took his words to heart and love to banter but they didn’t last quite long for varied reasons.

Vaugn didn’t dwell too much about it as he only cared about spending time with his family. However, there’s no denying that what little social life he had affected him negatively in some ways.

The Passing of a Father

Even though life started out wonderfully for the Agnusdei family, unfortunately all good things must come to an end. But that end would be something that would affect Vaugn for the rest of his life. His father became ill and his health had significantly worsened over time. He was taken to a hospital and was diagnosed with cancer. His father often stays in and gets discharged from the hospital when he’s recovered enough, doing routinely checkups in order to monitor his health and condition. His mother did her best to take care of her husband and make him healthy by limiting his diet strictly to healthy foods and assist him in taking his medication. It was a stressful situation for her as she not only has to take care of the children, but she also needs to tend to her husband’s health.

When his father stays over at the hospital, Vaugn always visit him after school wanting to be by his side. His father would talk to him about sentimental things, asking him questions that made him feel queasy with the situation they are in right now, but Vaugn would take any opportunity to be with him even if it means confronting the uncomfortable reality of his father’s state. Witnessing these things as a child, the hospital visits, his father visibly looking ill as he laid on the bed with medical equipment around him, the doctors discussing about his condition to his mother who looked quite grim, Vaugn was aware of the situation that laid before him and felt terrified about it. Even though his father was recovering well over time, he knew that there’s a possibility he might not survive. Despite that possibility, he still clung to that hope that everything will be okay. He hoped that his father will survive against all odds and that things will go back to the way they were.

But in the end it never did, his hope unfortunately got shattered when his family received the news that his father died in his sleep at the hospital. His father succumbed to cancer and the family felt devastated. Vaugn became so distressed that he lost someone so important to him, the man who shaped his ideals and the way he is, and was a huge inspiration to the young boy. He was always found right in front of his father’s coffin, almost refusing to leave his side as he stared woefully at his lifeless body until the day of his burial. It was so hard for him to process that his father is gone, the foundation of his life, and it felt like his world was torn apart. Even feeling envious of his little sister who was too young to understand what’s going on around her.

Vaugn was 13 years old when his father passed away. It was then that life started to go downhill for his whole family. Losing the only breadwinner of the family meant that they no longer have anyone to provide for their needs without any source of income. After that day, Vaugn spends most of his time accompanying his mother to gather documents and visiting government units. His father did his best to secure his family in some way till the very end even after his passing, which is something that his family is extremely grateful for. That’s just how much his father cared for his family and it really hurt them that they can still feel his love even when he’s no longer there.

Succumbing to Difficult Emotions

Losing that strong pillar in his family meant that their life began to fall apart and change forever. Due to their financial situation, the Agnusdei family moved from place to place and started businesses that eventually didn’t work out, losing more money from investing in it than they ever had anticipated. The family ended up selling the house in order to recover what’s been lost, even if it pains Vaugn to let go of the place that holds so many beloved memories they had of his dearest father, that worked hard to build the perfect home for his family to live happily in. After that, the family moved into his mother’s hometown and settled into her old home with his grandparents after years of moving around.

Vaugn has always been understanding of his family’s situation and not once did he ever openly raised a complaint as he knows that everyone is still grieving from his father’s death and the wounds are still fresh, but after having to adapt in so many different environments, he began to crave stability in his life. It hurt Vaugn to see his mother, now a single parent, struggle to provide for her family alone while also dealing with the negativity that is being thrown at her from her own parents and relatives. He tries to help his mother whenever he can, most especially when it comes to housework, but felt helpless as he couldn’t do anything to improve their situation financially. Vaugn would always try to show affection to his mother and let her vent to him about her problems even if it makes him feel quite heavy inside.

His mother is still the same loving, gentle and selfless woman he knew, doing her best so that her children can still live a comfortable life. Vaugn admits that it’s still comfortable even if their house is much smaller and less developed than their old home, as he doesn’t ask for much mostly because he didn’t want to be a burden. Despite being poor, his mother still spoils her children whenever she can, wanting to live up to her husband’s ideals, especially for her youngest daughter who didn’t get to enjoy the luxuries as much as her older brother. Vaugn appreciates his mother very much and the things she does for the family, but without her husband to balance the work and make up for the shortcomings she has, his mother had done some things to him as a parent that affected him quite greatly.

Now with the burden of being the next breadwinner of the family lies on Vaugn’s shoulders, his mother expected so much from him, seeing that he takes after his father, without realizing that she’s putting her son under a lot of pressure and would get mad at him for mistakes he’d done. Vaugn wasn’t ready for that responsibility which makes him constantly anxious about the future at a young age. He never got to think of the future he wants as he’s left worrying for his family’s wellbeing, wanting to do his best to uplift his family from poverty which in turn, hinders him from being able to think of his ambitions. That was his only goal in life and it didn’t help that he sees things in a practical way, seeing that most jobs have their cons and that most wages are just not enough made him feel hopeless about his future. Vaugn's also quite disappointed and overcritical of himself because he can't live up to his father's image and that he can't do anything to help his family financially. He studies restlessly to do well in his academics and hates to see his mother feel disappointed in him when his grades began to drop due to his schoolworks overwhelming him.

Being under pressure and having a lot of work put into his responsibilities while also having to focus on his academics, Vaugn had lashed out on his younger sister more times than he had liked. He felt terrible about it since most of the time, his sister just wanted to hang out with him, remembering that he’s also responsible for being a good older brother. Vaugn knows that he has terrible patience so it made him feel guilty that despite this fact, his sister still thinks quite positively of him and maintained a good relationship with him. He held no ill will against his sister but there’s no denying that he feels jealous that his mother is much more laidback and forgiving when it comes to her. His little sister even surprises him at times from how empathetic she is about his state. Vaugn tries his best to work on himself and be more patient with her, but doubts that he’ll ever be a good older brother for her like his father would have wanted.

Vaugn felt like falling apart. The only thing keeping him together is his situation outside of his home. In his new school, Vaugn became more social and made a group of friends. Being able to go out on his own and bond with other people that he considers his friends was a joy he never got to have as a kid. He began to open up more and feel more comfortable to be himself, something that he couldn’t do in the comforts of his own home now. As he spends more time with them, Vaugn became infatuated with his male best friend. He finds his presence a joy to be with to the point that they’re almost inseparable but he doesn’t realize he had feelings for him until Vaugn invited him to his home. His best friend suddenly kissed him in his room which made him appalled at his actions. The boy cut off whatever word would leave Vaugn’s mouth and pressed him to answer his question that made him realize something about himself. “Did you like it?” After a bit of hesitation did he answer yes and the boy kissed him once again.

Unfortunately, his mother opened the door to his room and caught them doing so. After his mother demanded his best friend to get out, she began to scold her son for letting that happen to him. Vaugn getting emotional and in the spur of the moment admitted that he likes men which made his mother angry because she thinks that’s wrong. Brokenhearted, Vaugn did nothing but listen to his mother chide him for his feelings, thinking that there’s something wrong with him until she stormed out of his room. It was this moment that broke him as he finally let himself collapse from everything he felt up to this point. Hurt from his mother not accepting him, their relationship became distant afterwards and he had lost almost all trust he had on her.

Vaugn found it difficult to come to terms with his sexuality and even after accepting it, he doesn’t see himself getting into such a relationship as he still wants to please his mother. It was even harder for him to feel comfortable about this fact when he confronted his best friend about the kiss only to find out that he was just messing with him to confirm his suspicions. Vaugn felt like a fool being deceived by him and became distant, cutting off their friendship and over time, everyone else’s for reasons he might never know. He was once again alone just like before.

After these events, Vaugn’s emotional wellbeing became worse and he was at his lowest point. His mother was alarmed at his state and had come to apologize, though her views didn’t change and the damage has been done. Vaugn knew that and felt too numb to dwell on it any longer so he just forces himself to look okay after that for his mother’s sake. Vaugn still loves her but he felt like he’ll never see his mother the same way again. Days just pass by in a blur for him, feeling rather hopeless that things will ever get better for him and feeling disconnected from the world around him. He became even more reserved and snappy as if to defend himself from everyone and everything.

Just when he’s at his lowest point, did Vaugn find himself inside a dark coffin, awakened to another world far different from his own with little memory of how he got here and the events before that. Thus, his life at Twisted Wonderland began.

???

"I just had this dream last night. I don't usually remember my dreams but I just can't seem to get my mind off of it.

It's already weird that I even remember it at all...

I find myself dancing with this man in the middle of the forest. The moon shone brightly overhead it just seems so unreal, and there was this nice view of a lake right beside us, reflecting the moonlight. It honestly looks so beautiful. I never got to see one myself...

I guess we were performing some kind of slow dance..? I don't know. I'm not into dancing that much... The guy was big and pretty tall that I had to look up just so I could see his head. He had pointy ears, probably that of a fox..? A dog or a cat? Who knows... My brain probably conjured that up from watching anime hmm..

The thing about him is that I couldn't seem to see his face or I had lost my memory on it. I could only recall it being an incomprehensible blur. He held me close while telling me the sweetest things I've heard. His words are so comforting to me. It's unbelievable, hearing him say I've done so much and I deserve to rest.. I don't think I do...

I couldn't help but lay my head against his chest and cry. It feels so embarrassing that I just broke down to the man of my dreams, but I couldn't remember the last time I feel this loved... He just held my head.. my hand... and told me that things will get better.

I wish someone would tell me that things do get better. I.. I wish someone would tell me that I'm enough... hff.."

"..."

"I'll probably forget about it soon. Must be nice to have someone to depend on, huh..? I need to snap back into reality.

You only have yourself, you know?"

—

"Why do you look so familiar..?"

—

"I'm sorry.. I'm not good with words"

"That's fine, I don't either... It's strange that you say that. Your words seem to get a hold of me...”