"How can I become someone else when...this is who I've been my entire life? Change...isn't as easy as people make it out to be, in fact, I find change quite difficult...I'm still trying to wrap my head around all the things that have changed since I've left home but I just can't seem to...it makes me feel pathetic..."

A faint sigh escaped a young strudel as she finally found herself with an opportunity to rest her weary limbs, breath coming out as puffs of visible air to accentuate the frigid winter weather, mingling above her before dissipating unceremoniously. Felicia knew it was much too cold out to be traversing so far away from camp, but these moments of solace, far from all those who stress her, have become something of a necessity to her. If she couldn't have this time to herself then surely she'd find herself going insane with the stress and exasperation that often clouded her thoughts. This was all she had in terms of an escape, a few brief moments of clarity each night where she could empty her mind, letting her thoughts slip loose like the steady movement of a stream so that she could be prepared for whatever she'd have to face in the upcoming day.

Felicia wasn't happy with her life.

Her triangular ears flattened as she delved into such negativity, but it was only the truth. Life was a dull, monotonous strife that Felicia felt as though she were losing the ability to keep up with. An existence where she put her all into making others happy...at the expense of her own self, it always seemed. Was that really fair? Or was this line of thinking selfish on her behalf? Absentmindedly, Felicia kicked at a pinecone that must have fallen from one of the many pine trees that surrounded her from all sides like magnificent, green skyscrapers. She had always been raised to act upon the benefits of others, minding her manners...obedient, she had worked hard to get into the good graces of the stern adults from her village, ever since she was a small child. Felicia had a whole future prepared in that village, one she gave up once her rambunctious, thoughtless sister fled to become a nomad. What was she to do, leave her to wander into her inevitable grave? Yet, in the most recent days, Felicia often found her thoughts flitting to what COULD have been. She was "destined for greatness", the elders had always spoken so highly of her, a very likely candidate for becoming a head-figure, which was a highly sought out position by the denizens of that village.

Her life would have been set, comfortable, yet she gave it all up, just like that, and there was no hope of ever returning, she knew she wouldn't be welcomed after such an act of abandonment. Felicia could never detest her younger sister, Felicity, but...the younger strudel often regarded her with nothing but blatant disrespect and mockery - she truly felt like the "butt monkey" of the group, to eloquently put it, despite working herself to exhaustion to ascertain that their operations ran smoothly and everyone remained safe. Felicity could be bad with her japes, but nobody took the cake more than her sister's menace of a girlfriend, Aspen. Just the thought of the jollybean caused a scowl to develop on Felicia's face, a seething, hot surge of disdain causing her to momentarily forget the frigid air around her. Aspen was more or less a bully, to say the least, but Felicity was so head-over-heels enamored with her that she never took notice...maybe her sister thought everything was all fun and games, she was never the sharpest tool in the shed, but even so, was it that difficult to take the feelings of other people into consideration? Felicia was getting quite sick of it, frankly, but continued to grin and bear it in order to keep the "peace" within their little group.

What would life have been like if she just remained in her village?

Felicia drew her knees to her chest, hugging them tightly in place in order to combat the chill. She wasn't happy with the way things were now...but, the truth was...she was uncertain if she'd be happy living a life as a village head-figure. All her life...Felicia acted as someone others could depend on, someone to carry out orders with a diligent sense of duty. But, the more she delved deeper into these thoughts, the more she began to realize that...she didn't exactly KNOW who she was other than that. Had Felicia ever been her own person? What would make HER happy? These were all questions she didn't have answers to, and it frustrated her to no end. She never really gave thought to such ideas in the past, it was when she met Victoria that she-

Felicia's ears perked as she caught the faint sound of paws crunching against the brittle, acrid blades of decaying grass and pine nettles. Ah, speak of the devil…

"It took you long enough," Felicia commented without turning to look at the creature encroaching upon her, she already knew who it was. "That nose of yours losing its luster with the colder weather?"

A faint snort was the initial response, before a deep and gruff voice, lacking any real warmth or emotion, simply responded, "got side-tracked."

"With what?" The strudel asked, curiously.

"Nothing important." The trickster was right beside her at this point, joining Felicia in a sitting position. The strudel pouted slightly but didn't press for any more information, Victoria wasn't the sort you could easily persuade answers from. Besides, she was likely doing more criminal conduct...Victoria WAS a notorious thief, after all, one her group was actually trying to apprehend. Yet...Felicia had been sneaking out every night without fail in order to meet up with her. She briefly wondered how Felicity and the others would react if they found out; her sister would surely have some sort of a fit. Ah, was it bad to admit the idea of their shocked and maybe repulsed expressions almost felt satisfying in a way to Felicia's imagination? The thing was...Victoria felt like the only person she could properly confide to, who understood her even a little. Was that pathetic? Seeking nightly console from a highly wanted criminal? Most likely, yeah. But...that's what made it feel so exhilarating in a way, the very fact that it WAS wrong. Maybe she was losing her mind a little...if present Felicia told past Felicia what she was currently doing, her past self would surely chew her out. But it didn't matter, Felicia didn't plan to stop nor did she really want to.

"Very well then," Felicia responded, nonchalantly. The two sat in silence for a few moments, a rather comfortable one, as they stared out into the dark distance of the night sky. Felicia would describe her relationship with this trickster as complicated...it wasn't as though they were friendly with each other in the slightest, yet Felicia still felt an odd sensation of warmth flutter through her chest every time she saw her nonetheless. Victoria seemed to know so much about her, yet the trickster was so stoic and enigmatic in nature that Felicia really couldn't say the same towards her. Other than the fact that she was a notorious criminal that was. She wished she could get the trickster to open up, but every subtle attempt was quickly shut down in a rather deadpan fashion. Still, she supposed it didn't really matter in the long run...as long as she could depend on the trickster for some solace from her everyday excursions then...things would be fine.

"You looked to be rather lost in thought earlier," Victoria commented after some time, still staring vacantly into nothingness. "Troubled, perhaps?"

"The usual," Felicia responded, unable to prevent a light sigh. "Was thinking...about the life I could have had..."

"You've truly given up a lot for your sister, haven't you?" The trickster murmured, sparing a glance at the strudel. "Tell me, what has she given up for you in exchange? Are the sacrifices you've laid truly worth it if you don't even receive the bare minimum of gratitude in the end?"

"I-well...." Felicia trailed off, unsure how she was even supposed to go about answering such a question. As usual, Victoria hit her right where it hurt...she was insanely astute, Felicia had to give her credit for that. She seemed to be able to read Felicia like a book, even from the moment they first met. Some might find it a tad creepy, but somehow Felicia appreciated it...there was something comforting about having someone who seemed to know so much about her (despite, y'know, her criminal background and all.) "I dunno...I just, it's just how it is, y'know? Sometimes you just have to grin and bear things for the people you care about..."

"I disagree with such a sentiment." Victoria replied with an almost-scoff on her face (it was seriously hard to decipher any expression on that blank countenance of hers), "What about how you feel? Does she even care for you?"

"W-well I'd like to think so...in her own dumbass way..." Felicia murmured but wasn't very confident in her answer. Victoria's words made her doubt herself.

"Maybe she does, maybe not, I'd lean more towards the latter...the thing is, though, that it doesn't matter. She's taking advantage of you, Felicia, and I think it's even worse if it's on a subconscious level."

The strudel remained quiet for a few moments, taking in Victoria's words before flashing her a quizzical look. "And why's that?"

"It means that she's never going to recognize this behavior, recognize how she treats you, how long has it been? She's never once noticed that you've been disgruntled, that you feel belittled...and if she TRULY cared...she'd figure this out for herself, you shouldn't have to bring such a thing up to her yourself." Victoria looked back at her, yellow eyes slightly narrowed as she awaited a response.

Felicia felt a surge of anger pass through, a small part of her questioned this logic of Victoria's, something didn't seem right...her sister DID care, right? Yet...she still continued to absolutely disrespect her and put her down, even if it was all meant as jokes...Felicity really SHOULD know better, shouldn't she? Really, why should Felicia have to say anything? They'd all just get annoyed with her if she spoke up anyway..."Felicia, way to be a killjoy, we're just joking", they'd likely say. Especially that stupid Aspen with her sarcastic quips and annoyingly haughty grin…

"You're clenching your fists," Victoria noted.

"....shit." Felicia slowly exhaled, allowing her paws to relax. Typically she was rather good at holding back her anger, but Victoria always seemed to evoke such emotions against the strudel's own will. She found herself at mercy to them. "Maybe that is the case, well...I just...ugh! What does it really matter? It's not like anything will ever change! I can't-I can't talk to them about it, they won't take me seriously...they never do, I'm just...Felicia the 'killjoy' the 'too serious' one and what would I do if I make the group awkward? So I just have to remain-"

"You care too much about what others think of you, is that right?"

"...yeah, maybe, that's how it's been my whole life, it's not as simple as just...'stop caring', it plagues my thoughts...I need to be useful to others or else I'm...what am I without that...?"

"What are you now though?"

"...huh?"

The trickster snorted, faintly shaking her head. "But what are you now? You're useful to others, do as you're told, but at what? The expense of your own personality? You have to think of the bigger picture."

Felicia was silent, hit right in her biggest insecurity and fear. No personality, huh? That's right...there really wasn't much to her than following orders and holding her tongue to keep peace. She was like...one of those 'robot' things she heard tale of, like she lacked a heart or some kind of substance that made her a 'person.' But even so…

"....I just...don't really know what to do about it though..." She meekly whispered, trying to keep the strong emotion out of her voice as she always did. "How can I become someone else when...this is who I've been my entire life? Change...isn't as easy as people make it out to be, in fact, I find change quite difficult...I'm still trying to wrap my head around all the things that have changed since I've left home but I just can't seem to...it makes me feel pathetic..." she chuckled in a self-deprecating manner, eyes resting wearily on the numerous pine needles underneath her.

"Then leave."

Felicia felt her eyes widen, head snapping up as she regarded Victoria with a bewildered look. "Pardon??"

"Leave this life, unlock the shackles that bind you...you're the only one who holds the key to them, after all. You remain in this piteous state because of a miserable complacency, it's time to move past it and free yourself. Leave them, Felicia...you can come with me instead." The trickster stared at her, yellow eyes seeming to pierce into the strudel's very soul. She felt more than flabbergasted at the offer, and it was likely more than evident on her face. Run off? With Victoria?? A criminal!? The very idea was simply absurd! And...yet…

"I-I couldn't just...do something like that..." Felicia mumbled after she managed to regain her composure, "I mean...I can't just leave them, y'know, without me-"

"They'll surely be sorry when you're gone, yes." Victoria interjected, shrugging as she spoke, "but they don't treat you right, and it doesn't seem like they ever will. They won't know what they had until it's gone, and you truly owe nothing to them."

"....I...." Felicia was frowning, deep in thought. Victoria's reasoning just felt...wrong somehow, unsettling, like something heavy and uncomfortable filtering through her chest. Yet, the trickster's words were stroking an ego within her she wasn't aware even existed. It felt, well, GOOD to hear someone say those things to her...even if, maybe, it was just manipulation. Was she being manipulated here? Did she...truly even CARE if she was? Would going off with Victoria really be such a terrible option? She was the only one who ever made Felicia feel...free, in a sense. Like she had a choice of her own; she could be whoever she desired without anything to tether her down. It was true that things seemed unlikely to change in her current situation...so why not just...run away? Felicia had to admit, the offer was severely tempting and she was rather shocked with herself by how much she wanted to just say yes. From a moral standpoint...it was absolutely insane, Felicia would surely be labeled as a criminal if she were to follow after the trickster. All her years of earning such a good, respectable reputation would go down the drain, as if it never existed in the first place, but that somehow seemed favorable to Felicia.

It'd be like pressing a reset button on her life, becoming a blank slate.

A second chance.

"I...can't decide this on the spot..." Felicia concluded after quite some minutes have passed. She looked towards her (companion?) expecting to see that typically blank expression she'd grown used to in response, but the slight ghost of a smirk on Victoria's countenance left her feeling startled (has she ever seen Victoria smile before? It looked quite nice, she had to admit, maybe even charming).

"You can take as long as you please to decide, or not decide at all." Victoria coyly responded as she rose to her feet, giving a quick stretch of her limbs. "After all...it's your life, your decision, I cannot rush that."

"U-umm..." Felicia wished she had something more intelligent to say, but her brain seemed to be failing on her; thoughts running a mile a minute.

"I just ask that you perhaps give it some thought, that is all." The trickster seemed to hesitate, before resting a paw on top of Felicia's head, keeping clear of her horn. The strudel felt every muscle in her body stiffen instinctively, before she quickly relaxed, savoring the brief instance of contact. Victoria always seemed so cold and brisk in appearance, but her touch was surprisingly warm...comforting even.

As quickly as it happened it ended though, a faint spark unlikely to reignite anytime soon. Victoria returned her paw to her side as she turned to face the opposite direction. "I must depart for the night, I'll see you tomorrow, of course." And without waiting for a response of any sort, Victoria ambled away, leaving Felicia to stare after her in utter confliction.

"My life...my decision, huh?" She whispered to herself, gazing up at the inky black sky as though hoping the twinkling stars might provide some answers. "What would make ME happy?"

She remained that way for a while longer, before deciding she ought to head back to camp in order to get at least a few hours of sleep before the next day's excursion. Slowly, almost reluctantly, she began her trek back, carefully maneuvering herself through the darkness. Felicia was always the sort to think things through in a critical manner...to apply logic to a situation before jumping to a conclusion. When it came to this matter, however, 'logic' seemed to be avoiding her fancy.

Maybe, just maybe...it was about time Felicia stopped using her head for a change...and listen to her heart instead.

Maybe.

For now, though she'd carry on as she normally did, and would likely continue to do so for many days to come...but Victoria's offer would persist within her thoughts, burning…

And the flames were only sure to get bigger, stronger, with each passing day until, eventually, she might succumb to them…

However, Felicia found that she no longer felt quite so concerned over getting burnt. If the flames of this dangerous, fiery passion were to engulf her…

So be it.