The Grand Duck

The greatest pokemon of all time. #54 in the pokedex, but #1 in sheer sexiness.

Backstory and Career

Once an innocent philosopher and water-type, a young Psyduck one day came to the realization to oppose oblivion and destruction is to oppose the will of the universe itself. He took the mantle of the Grand Duck, and began his selfless lifelong crusade to allow others to achieve the sweetness of oblivion, putting aside his own destruction until all others could receive this gift first. Many an ignorant village has received his generosity, and his mongolian horde grows ever larger as villagers come to their senses and join his quest to stop the horror that is existence as we know it. Those who resist the Duck's prophetic mission are still enlightened, albeit in a rather terminal manner.

A fierce anatine warlord of the steppes, The Grand Duck is not to be underestimated. His vacant stare and chivalrous appearance hides a keen tactical mind and a sculpted physique, equally capable of outmaneuvering enemy formations or elbow-dropping fools into the earth's core. He has a long history of granting others the gift of annihilation, often hundreds at a time, and he can look right into your soul. The Grand Duck knows only four moves, namely Water Gun, Scratch, Telekinetic Butchery and Confusion. Notice that mercy is not in there. He has several forms of psy yi yi: regular psy, biopsy, and autopsy.

For recreation, he serves as the lead vocals for acclaimed thrash metal group The Altan Lords, most notably providing the lyrics for their hit single "Psy yi yi yi yi (you gonna die)", which is frequently performed as they sack and burn villages. As a part-time gig, he and his retinue also patrol the so-called "World's Craziest Hospital", where they loot supplies ensure fair, honest distribution of goods and harass doctors encourage following codes of professional conduct.

Personal Life:

The Grand Duck is a devoted follower of the Random Number Goddess, known better as Rando. He also subscribes to the followings of the Planescape Doomguard, that all in existence is destined to obliteration, and all should be honored to receive this fate. The Grand Duck rarely makes personal use of any looted goods or (forcefully) vacated structures he comes across in his travels, instead burning down buildings in tribute to Tengri, the wanderer god, and sacrificing material goods to the rivers and lakes of Czernobog, the river god.

He expresses great affection for his followers and any others who pay him proper tribute or have agendas similar to his. They will all be killed the very last, as is his thanks.

Credentials

Conquered villages: Psyhaven I & II, Psypress Hill, Knights of Psydonia, St. Psyduck, Sacred Bill, Psylent Hill, A Psy Way, Psyduck's Repokeblic of Psyna, Psy Angeles (As the Fresh Duck of Psy Air)

Famous quote: "Psy yi yi yi yi yi duck, psy yi yi, psyduck, psy yi yi yi duuuuuuuuuuuuuck.Psy yi yi yi. Psy yi... Psy yi yi yi yi yi duck, psy yi yi, psyduck, psy yi yi yi duuuuuuuuuuuuuck.Psy yi yi yi. Psy yi...Psy yi yi yi yi yi duck, psy yi yi, psyduck, psy yi yi yi duuuuuuuuuuuuuck.Psy yi yi yi. Psy yi...Psy yi yi yi yi yi duck, psy yi yi, psyduck, psy yi yi yi duuuuuuuuuuuuuck.Psy yi yi yi. Psy yi...Psy yi yi yi yi yi duck, psy yi yi, psyduck, psy yi yi yi duuuuuuuuuuuuuck.Psy yi yi yi. Psy yi...Psy yi yi yi yi yi duck, psy yi yi, psyduck, psy yi yi yi duuuuuuuuuuuuuck.Psy yi yi yi. Psy yi...."

Psyduck and Pokemon are property of Nintendo, Inc, not me. The Grand Duck is property of me.