Raphios

Prologue: Childhood

Back during his youth, for a good period, Ruciel was gentle and softhearted, finding interest in the most mundane of things as a child—for that was all he had access to. While his parents screamed at each other in the rooms nearby, he'd find himself lost in his imagination day in and day out. Playing indoors with old and worn out toys or staring up at the skies from the family's very thin parcel of lawn, he'd even befriend the cockroaches that scurried throughout the night. Typical days were filled with the white noise of a television constantly playing in the background, sinks and counters covered in molding dishes, and scraps to live off of sourced from a half functional fridge aside from the rare occasion of Papa Theodante bringing home the cheapest takeout. Despite a house that reeked of deterioration, the bare minimum of food on the table, and parents that only seemed to bicker when anywhere near sober, his pure mind would find a way to look beyond all of it. Maybe times were better before he could remember, but as things only seemed to worsen, he tried his hardest to see the bright side; and for a long while, that made him through to adolescence.

Despite the increasing toxicity of his environment and his parents' continued neglect, one day would turn over a new and seemingly brighter chapter in his life. When finally granted the ability to venture into the world of public school, he would be met with a terrain of disorder and rule breaking, ultimately leading to his involvement in some way whether by choice or force. However, despite the ramifications of his impoverished origins, his life would lift with hope when a few other underdogs invited him into their circle. Never given the chance to know others from similar situations to relate and sympathize with before, this group and the school would ultimately become more of a home to him than his real one; and so he would actively look forward to the very moment he could burst through the door without a word and sprint off to the growingly decrepit building half a mile down the neighborhood streets. Without looking back, for nearly half the day if not more, he never felt more alive than when away from the slurry of smoke, alcohol, infestation and degeneration that was behind him.

In-between classes and during lunch, the small group would muse about a brighter future, tightening their bond with shared hopes and dreams. Knowing his parents wouldn't even notice, after school Ruciel would hang around with the bunch even into the evening if not later. It was these days that his mind would ruminate on the longest, the mere thought giving him a smile despite his reality. When met with either no response or snappy irritation from either parent, if not complete apathy, his presence never felt more acknowledged than around his humble friends. Simply no connection was stronger than the ones he felt toward them; the camaraderie and support he shared unlike anything he'd ever had before. And as he matured and continued to grow more independent, so did the strife and tension between his parents simply because of awareness, making his reliance on his connections even stronger. Trying his best to bury the anger and resentment he began to feel as an emotionally abandoned child, some nights he would simply break down and cry because he never felt loved. Though this cruel realization would surely be the least to come in his future.

By senior year, nearly everyone knew his name and would even tip their heads with respect in his presence—as no matter how difficult a time his bullies gave him, Ruciel never lashed back and instead would even offer a helping hand when the circumstances switched. He had simply been there for so long that all his underclassmen knew his kind heart, and for all the love and care he wished he received, he instead had shown to others. Even his now old group of friends would finally be among those admired. The path to claiming a life of his own and forgetting the rocky road behind him seemed so close and obtainable, feeling as though his school were rooting for him all the while. However, slipping under his awareness was the grand scheme going on behind his back, and little did he know what was to come the day he sat down to a table of absolute silence, every look he received one of great judgement and contempt.

What was going on? He surely asked himself as he sat beside his family. What he'd later find out that very same day was atrocious, and more shocking, the blame for it had been placed onto him. Soon his seats changing and the only one sitting before him being the very principal of the school, a paper slid across the table over him with the all the signature lines signed except one. Printed on the document was his expulsion, and as confusion and fear plagued his heart, the principal revealed his friends' doing with the belief that he was to blame. Absolutely distraught and helpless to convince them otherwise, he walked out the door to see his family all laughing at him as the rest of his underclassmen glared at him, seeing the very home he cherished crumble within the blink of an eye. During that half walk mile back, his heart boiled and his hands balled into fists. 

"Did they ever really care about me? We were the best of friends for years and even cried together through the troubling times. It felt as if we had something truly special, something so close... However, the moment it befitted them, they turned their backs on me and threw me under the bus just to save themselves. I knew, in that moment as I glared into their eyes, they felt nothing as they took everything from me." His friends' betrayal the final straw that broke the camel's back, he flew into a flight of rage, returning home to say his final goodbyes to a negligent family and packing all his belongings. Grown tired of searching for love from others, he instead thought, "If no nobody else was going to care about me, then only I can give myself that love..." And with that, he'd enter the streets on his own with a vehemently bitter complexion.

The spiral into a shadow of his former self would begin that day.