Iravan's Links
The only chance he ever had at getting in the towns student run news paper, that no one cares about anyways, would've rendered him dead or unemployed by the end of the year.
A functioning nervous system and a big ass mouth that unhinges. I like that in a man.
I don't get paid much, but it's enough to tell you that sometimes I film him drinking hotdog water out of the kettle in the staff break room, and sell it to those kids loitering outside the gas station.
best coworker ever. he makes stuff up about me more times than I can count on my hand, I stopped correcting people when he starts it up
This guy's been taking the local libraries stock for the past five years. I've heard that the fine on his card exceeds his yearly pay, and that he resells them to unsuspecting kids at the community book fair. I know that Natural Selection favours the loud and aggressive, but genetically he's a cul-de-sac.
Honestly, don't believe every word that comes from this man's mouth. Not to say you can't trust him but...They are bizarre but it's always amusing at least hah. He has quite the imagination or I'm the weird one doing all of that in my sleep...Surely can't be, right?
If there's one thing I learned from Balakid, it's to set others expectations real low so you end up surprising people by practically doing nothing at all. They also owe $182 thats been on their tab for a year now.
Ira~ Iravan always lets me loiter around in the gas station! I like to keep them company. I also like when Ira gets flustered— do you think if I keep blowing them kisses, they’ll let keep putting snacks on my tab?
Jellyfish have survived for 600,000 years without brains, a ray of hope for Soren. Which would be hilarious if it didn't affect me directly.
W……What..?? (He doesn’t understand nor does his creator)
Statistically at his age he's most likely to die from an accident, not that I am implying anything, but that's how the day usually ends. Knowing him as well, he thinks I am the only one here working out of my own volition, yet quite on the contrary that'd be Silas - who he believes to not be working here at all.
What do you mean Silas works here and isn't paid in convenience store sandwiches?
I didn't think Maw would be stakeout material. But as a chronic insomniac, watching Maw try to stay awake for as long as it takes to learn the first few chords of Wonderwall is entertaining on another plane of breaking work code.
Maw regularly goes at Iravan’s workplace during his night shifts and shows him all the new cool stuff he’s learned, cue capoeira in the parking lot. Stealing snacks is also a great motivation...
Sometimes I think about getting a goat to mow the lawn, but every now and again I wake up at 4am to watch Gin go at the weeds in the yard and I'm honestly glad that nature is restoring itself.
Heh, can’t beat the G.O.A.T. allegations, dude. Ira is also the G.O.A.T.
I'm at that sweet young age where I start to forget what I learnt in Pre-Cal or Chemistry, but start to broaden my horizons by coming up with my own philosophies. I only dread him one day at a time.
Lo and behold, I'm somehow playin' band with Bala's gas station buddy. They got sick rhythm, we vibe. For now.
Before I start talking to him about my problems, that I've worked really hard to acquire, I need to know if there'll be any potential media coverage.
I’ve seen Iravan once or twice, not much to make commentary. And no, Iravan, there will not be media coverage…. Therapy is as private as it gets..
I don't remember if I had tonsils before meeting this guy, or if he's the reason I don't have them anymore. Regardless, cleanest job I've never got to be awake for, 5/5, would go every Sunday with the kids and leave them there.
One time he told me to tap dance while juggling butter sticks for a couple silas bucks and I did it. What are silas bucks anyways? My hands feel oily...