Green-leaf is when four kits graced the city alleys to their mother Dancer and father Boulder. All were big, strong healthy kits, well, all but one at least. He was noticeably smaller and skinnier than his siblings, his coat uneven and truthfully he looked unwell. So, Dancer gave him a name fit for a runt in her eyes, Falcon. Dancing and Boulder didn’t believe Falcon would make it, or rather hoped, but the kit was perfectly fine outside of being small. One would think that would make a parent overjoyed, that a kit they believed was sick is completely fine…but that was not the case. Falcon grew up to be pushed to the side, his parent's attention on his stronger siblings. Always being pushed aside so his parents could brag about the other kits, tell how strong or how fast they are while there was no mention of Falcon. He was told that he should be proud of his siblings, how they would make the family proud and that he should stay back and let them have the limelight. But, he always tried to make himself be noticed, tried to make his parents and siblings smile and laugh. It was only met with disappointment in how he acted, saying he shouldn’t be so childish and that he was distracting his siblings from who they were supposed to be. Even as a kit Falcon was confused, why weren’t they allowed to have fun, be a kit? Why did they have to act like a grown cat so soon? As much as he loved his siblings they easily took on their parents' views, ostracizing Falcon whenever possible or making him a pawn in their own game. Falcon…well he didn’t mind being used or made fun of because that was better than getting no attention. But overtime things got too rough and it ended with Leopard accidentally taking a chunk out of Falcon’s ear. Instead of coming to Falcon’s aid his parents scorned him, asking what he did to make his brother do that? Falcon simply didn’t say anything, just slinked away and tried to take care of the wound himself. That was the day that Falcon disappeared, recoiling into himself and hiding from everyone and the first twinges of resentment and hatred sparked within him. What was the use of trying if he only was getting hurt? He may love his family but even to the young cat he could tell they didn’t feel the same. But times got harder, food was growing more scarce and cats were going missing, Falcon listened in to the worries of other cats but suddenly he couldn't find himself caring as much as he would have before. Those darkening thoughts dredging up in the hopes his brother or parents might get taken. The young cat hated himself for having those thoughts but maybe his life would be easier without them.

When Falcon was able to provide for the strays he knew he wouldn’t be praised, he wasn’t supposed to make it this far right? It was a thought that left a bitter taste in his mouth. But he had and maybe if he became a prominent provider his family would see him as something worthwhile, someone to notice and not toss aside. The streets were rough, the cats even harsher and he found himself among the like kind of his family. The sickness was wearing everyone thin, their worry turning to irritability and hatred. Falcon was trying his best to keep up, find scraps here and there for the other's. It was never enough though. Not for the group, definitely not for his family. His siblings were finding an easier time of making a name for themselves, strides ahead of Falcon and it was another thing for him to be demeaned and belittled for. Why was he such a fuck up? His brother was the worst, teasing, taunting, showing off, and Falcon had to grit his teeth and take it because if he fought back he would make someone upset. He couldn’t handle his parents being upset with him again, struggling through this day to day was hard enough as is. He was trying, by god was he trying but as the days went by Falcon seemed to deteriorate. His resolve was diminishing and that hatred and bitterness in his heart was growing more and more by the day. The newcomer Cloud was only drumming up tensions, especially with their leader Leaf. She may have been healing the cats but in his eyes, she was making the situations worse with their leader being so paranoid. As if things already weren’t terrible for him the nightmares started up. He would wake up crying and startle the cats that were light sleepers, his siblings being some of them. Eventually he started to sleep away from the group, or rather he was more forced in a way. He knew the dangers of the catchers but he held little regard for his own safety, if it meant he didn't disturb the other cats and get yelled at for it that was fine by him. He kept trying though, trying to provide and trying to prove himself. It was hard, he had to become more scrappy and truly fight if he wanted something. Falcon figured out he was suited for quickness and agility in battle, this is when his observant and adaptable nature started to shine. Truthfully it started with an accident, rather Falcon getting angry at another cat and kicking dirt in their eye before attacking them. He paid for it later but it started to turn the gears into his mind, cats had many weaknesses he could exploit and if he did that he wouldn’t have to worry about being the strongest opponent right? He just had to be the smarter one. He, hardly ever interacted with his siblings much in these days. Well all except Poppy, his younger sister. She was the nicest, she spoke to him some before being dragged off by the others so she didn't “hurt the family image” by talking to him. That certainly made him want to rip his family to shreds, those thoughts from when he was a kit surfaced yet again, he wanted them gone. They were the cause of all his problems, the reason he was like this, they should be punished for it shouldn’t they? In a way, that prayer was already answered. His parents were getting weaker from the lack of food, his mother finally contracting the fatal illness and was unable to be healed by Cloud. If he had a smirk on his face when her body was taken away, no one noticed. By this time the rest of his family had stopped speaking to him, he was fine with this as he wanted nothing to do with them either. Truthfully he was toying with the idea of leaving and striking out on his own, it would certainly be better than this hell hole. However, when Cloud mentioned they needed to move he was entirely down for this idea. Not because of any...star faith mumbo jumbo but rather he just wanted to be gone from this place entirely. When Leaf went missing, Falcon wasn't the most concerned among the group. Truthfully he liked Cloud better than he did Leaf, he saw actual leadership qualities in the molly and he trusted her..as much as he could anyways. Which wasn't much.

When Leaf was found it wasn't soon after the group began on their journey to wherever the stars wanted them to go. Falcon didn't care, he was rid of the city and that's all that mattered. However, the trip was hard. He was getting annoyed with the constant promises without any show for his patience. More than once he lamented his opinion of this ordeal, but as a split was beginning to occur within the group he stayed presently neutral. Following his own orders it seemed, not going with either leader. Their numbers began to dwindle as cats were picked off one by one through various incidents. One being Falcon's brother Leopard, though an air of mysteriousness surrounds that death. A sure footed and sturdy warrior shouldn't just fall off a rocky cliff-face now should they? Falcon kept himself tight lipped and was proud they couldn't find anything on him. His father did end up dying of natural causes, his body simply giving way from the taxing venture. Quite an apt death for a cat who prided himself on strength and resilience Falcon thought. His sisters Tiger and Poppy made it along well enough, and when the cats found their home the two stayed behind with Leaf. Which in turn made Falcon go with Cloud, he refused to be where any of his family resided. It took longer to find their home, but eventually they settled on a cliff with inlets acting as their dens and camp. The tom never understood the importance of Starclan or why the leaders were in such a tiff over it. However, despite his belief, he played along and went on patrols for the group through the other's territory. What started out as small skirmishes or scuffles along the territories soon became more violent. Falcon enjoyed the fighting, it gave him a sense of power he had always lacked. It filled that hole of uselessness that had been in him since he was a kit.

He began going on every patrol he could, hiding behind the guise of loyalty and duty. He ended up on the patrol with Cloud to go to the meeting place Leaf had supposedly found. When Leaf began to complain about the Headlights again Falcon couldn't help but get irritated. Couldn't he just let that go? It wasn't like it was *that* important. He commended Cloud for sticking to her guns and refusing, and it made him even happier that it sparked a battle between the patrol groups. He had noticed his sisters were in the patrol with Leaf and he made sure to target Tiger, doing his best to maim and kill her. However, the mountain of falling rocks disrupted their battle as he had to dive out of the way of the oncoming debris. Both leaders had been knocked unconscious. The battle was over and a new regime order had been put into place.

Falcon was now Falconwhisper, he didn't mind the name as he mostly still went by Falcon. The new working order he enjoyed, he was made a Stalker despite his fighting ability. It gave him some time away from the new "clan" and he could get some peace and quiet. So, it wasn't all bad and he enjoyed the challenge of hunting as much as he did fighting, but it wasn't the same. There was a tumultuous truce between the clans, giving Falconwhisper itchy claws for another battle. It was obvious he was getting frustrated and stir crazy, becoming even more snippy and rude to his fellow clanmates than before. No matter how much he focused on hunting it never satisfied him the same way a good fight did. His focus soon drifted to one of the new arbitrators, Softwing, she had been running around lately helping and talking to the other cats through their worries. To say he was enamoured would be an understatement. She was such an odd duckling running about during this time. He found most cats were just as selfish as he was, still in survival mode from the city, but not her. Softwing cared more about others than herself and the tom just found her odd...but intriguing.

Rain began to pour into the glade with little signs of letting up. Talk of floods began to make its rounds and he had to agree, the lower valley would definitely be washed away at this rate. Not like the stubborn Leafstar would admit, stars forbid he acknowledges dangers to his clan. Such a caring leader he was, Falconwhisper thought very little of him at this point. It was during this gathering that Softwing first approached the tom, talking about how Leafstar was stupid for not acknowledging the dangers to his clan. Falcon was shocked, he had yet to see her place displeasure and such venomous hatred into anything. The two began to talk more after this, Falcon was able to see how truly passionate she was about helping others. He always asked her why, why she cared so much. Softwing always responded with "Someone has to". Falcon felt at ease around her, which he found dangerous. She was able to make him let his guard down and show a side of himself even he hadn't seen in many moons. No matter how much Falcon pushed, she pulled just as hard and wouldn't let him go. Ever the forgiving and understanding molly. She always told him there was good within him still, he never believed her. But, just as everyone predicted, a flash flood rushed through Leafclan camp and washed away both the camp and a fair amount of cats. The clan ends up in their territory to get away from the waters. Falcon avoided them like the plague and was hostile to most of the cats from Leafclan who even attempted to approach him. When Leaftstar became sick Falcon figured the cat would simply tough it out with all that spite festering in him, so the tom was quite surprised when news of the leader's death came about.

Softwing had taken to comforting and helping the leafclan cats and the tom found himself biting his tongue for once, becoming a little nicer to the displaced clan much to everyone's surprise. He still refused to help them directly but if Softwing snatched an extra piece of prey from to feed one of the needy clan cats, he turned a blind eye. For once Falcon found himself relaxing, and truly becoming at ease with his surroundings. Something that has never happened for him before, Softwing just made comfort so easy. He hadn't even noticed that the urge to fight was gone.

Leaf clan finally went back to their territory with their new leader Timberstar in tow, Falcon had heard that Starclan hadn't given the leader his nine lives and he wondered now if war was yet again on the horizon over the communion of dead cats. Softwing had her worries that it would, and Falcon found himself worried for the fighting to come, not excited. The gatherings were insufferable, Falcon was torn between breaking up fights between cats with Softwing or her having to drag him away from a fight he accidentally started. The threat of war began to grow closer until it was revealed that Timberstar got his nine lives finally. It was like the glade breathed a sigh of relief as things began to return to normal.

Falconwhisper and Softwing only grew closer and more affectionate during this time, practically mates just without the label. It wasn't long after Cloudstar's announced sickness that Softwing said she was pregnant. Falconwhisper was...horrified...but excited nonetheless. Falcon became a ball of anxious energy, a complete 180 from how he used to be. Anyone that talked to him during this time knew he would mostly talk about his kits to be or Softwing, it was but nice to see the gruff tom finally slowing down. Softwing's term was a rough one, she got sicker and weaker with constant visits to the herbalist at this point. She claimed she was fine, it was normal for the cats in her family to have this type of trouble. Falcon was less convinced, a rock settled deep within his gut and told him something wasn't right. It only got worse as time went on. Cloudstar had been announced sick and was growing weaker by the day, and then disappears completely. Muddyfoot was practically running the clan, but Falcon was less concerned with that. Softwing had finally gone into labor in the early hours of the morning, but right away Falcon could tell something was wrong. He bolted to get the herbalist, anxiety and panic fueling him completely.

After her second kit she had started bleeding far too much, convulsing violently, and Falcon was helpless he didn’t know what to do. The herbalist had tried to get Falcon to leave, even almost forced the tom to do so. However, a quick clawed swipe towards the cat trying to take him away ended that and they let him stay to avoid a fight. He watched her die and those mewling, crying creatures were alive next to her. The tom was frozen, staring off as reality sunk in. The one cat he cared about was gone, tears welled in his eyes and that old hatred filled his heart once again.

Hate, hate, hate

Rage came pouring in and caused a violent stream of curses to come from him as he left the nursery, announcing his presence and damning every cat, every star he could. He couldn't be calmed down and anyone that tried to approach him wasn't given so much as a warning before Falcon tried to attack them, blinded by his own grief. Another mother had taken in the kits during Falconwhisper’s fit of pain filled rage, when the tom walked back in she had softly asked him what he wanted to name the kits and what she was to do. With the pain and hatred burning brighter than ever in the tom he gave his harsh answer,

“You keep those things far away from me. I don’t care what you name them, I want nothing to do with it.”

He had disowned his daughter and son moments after they were born, not caring if they lived or died, he blamed them as much as he blamed himself. Caring about something did nothing but bring pain and death, it was a useless feeling and he felt nothing for the kits that caused Softwing’s death. The cat that Softwing had found within Falconwhisper died when she did, all that was left now was the resentful, hateful, and sadistic cat he was before.

The following moon is a hazy blur for Falconwhisper, he went through his day on autopilot, ignoring or hissing at cat that spoke to him unless it was orders for a patrol or hunt. When the tom wasn't angry and spitting curses he looked entirely haunted and lost. The news of Muddyfoot becoming Muddystar meshed in with everything else, he couldn't care less at the current moment. However, the bossiness of the new leader began to pique the interest of Falcon, the tom was never like this before so had leadership gone to his head that quickly? But, the constant orders kept him busy and out away from camp, so he didn't fight them as much as he could have. He ignored his body cause the longer he went, the less he thought about Softwing. He had noticed his kits wandering about now, he made sure to steer clear of them or give the adoptive mother a harsh glare so she would take them back to the nursery. He hated to see them running, hated hearing their voices, truly hated seeing them living as it was a constant reminder of what he had lost. It hurt more than he could bare.

The patrols had gave him another distraction, and the prospect of a good fight once again alighting that old fire within him. The tom became an instigator again, prodding any Leafclan cat he encountered and going on every patrol that he could. His body was constantly aching, sleep was practically nonexistent between the nightmares and constant work. Falconwhisper was deteriorating, obviously not caring about the state of his body anymore. He never spoke out against Muddystar, and often agreed with a few of the tyrannical rules set by the tom. His views began to shift more and more towards Muddystar's side of things, maybe it was the lack of direction, or his feelings of being lost and hopeless, but either way he clung to those ideals and followed them with diction. He pushed any child and elder to provide more for the clan and turned a blind eye to those who were collapsing under the strain of the work load. If they couldn't handle it, they didn't deserve to be here. War was encroaching, whispers of Leafclan doing something were making rounds but no one knew what. Falcon was looking forward to a fight even though he truly was no longer in good shape to do so.

Leafclan ended up storming their camp, Falconwhisper threw himself headlong into the battle. It ended with the death of Muddystar and Flamescratch, some convoluted love story between the two coming to light. The clan was now without a leader and an herbalist, and Falcon was yet again left without direction. He didn't know what to do, should he leave? Stay? The clan was better off without him in it truly, weren't they? For the first time he turned to the stars for direction, well, he turned to Softwing for direction. Praying never helped him before, it never did a damn thing, but he was looking for anything at this point. And he found it, a pale bird sitting on one of the ledges outside of camp. He took that as a sign to stay, to continue to at least provide for the clan. He could do that much and help them rebuild in the wake of the war with their new leader.

It appeared that the cat Softwing had found within Falcon was still there, what a horrible thought.