Karl

OKAY

UGH I HATE WRITING THESE THINGS

MY NAME IS KARL VANTAS, I’M AN 18 YEAR OLD IDIOT FROM MASSACHUSETTS WHO NEITHER UNDERSTANDS NOR TOLERATES THE HEAT OF THIS ATROCIOUS STATE I NOW LIVE IN

WHICH HAPPENS TO BE CALIFORNIA SINCE I GO TO COLLEGE HERE, AS PREVIOUSLY STATED IT’S MOSTLY TERRIBLE. I STUDY PSYCHOLOGY AND I’M TRYING TO BECOME A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR. I KNOW, VERY COOL, VERY HIP

I HAVE A FIANCÉE, SHE’S HORRIBLE AND I HATE HER, GO FOLLOW HER AND SUFFER WITH ME

UHH I DON’T HAVE MANY HOBBIES, I’M MOSTLY INTO WATCHING ROMCOMS AND REVIEWING THEM FOR NO ONE, SINCE NO ONE CARES ABOUT READING A GIANT BLOCK OF TEXT ABOUT MOVIES THEY DON’T LIKE, COMPLAINING ABOUT ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF TO ANYONE WHO WILL LET ME, PLAYING VIDEO GAMES VERY POORLY (I PREFER CO-OP GAMES SO I CAN SIT BACK AND FUCK UP WITHOUT IMPACTING THE ENTIRE GAME), AND BEING VERY PARTICULAR AND CRITICAL ABOUT THE TYPE OF COFFEE PEOPLE CHOOSE TO DRINK—IF IT ISN’T BLACK GET OUT OF MY SIGHT

MY PESTERCHUM IS CYNICALLYGALLIONIC, FEEL FREE TO PESTER ME IF YOU FEEL LIKE BEING NEEDLESSLY INSULTED

Personality

• While expressive and always eager to complain, when Karl is genuinely upset about something, he tends to keep quiet about it. 
• At the same time, that means that if he’s complaining about something, it doesn’t bother him half as much as he’s acting like it does.
• Sometimes words aren’t enough to help Karl when he’s upset—however, he is very physical, and responds well to touch. Holding hands, a comforting touch on the shoulder, and hugs are all really helpful when he gets upset.
• Karl has horrible self-esteem, though he tries to hide it behind his asshole mask. Being short and fairly average looking doesn’t help, and neither does having a life-threatening disease. He doesn’t even really like his personality much, and it only takes the smallest comment to cause him to doubt how even his closest friends feel about him.

Health

• Karl’s pretty squeamish—though that’s one of the things he keeps quiet about for the sake of his dwindling masculinity. He doesn’t like movies with too much blood, and if he’s actually around too much blood, he can get nauseous or even faint.
• He hates having to depend on medication to do what normal people can do on their own, and as such, he tends to skip taking sleeping pills for his insomnia. 
• Pity is not something Karl wants equated with himself, and he has a pretty good idea of how healthy people look at sick people, so he keeps quiet about his disease, not wanting people to behave different around him because of it.
• In his best efforts to be as healthy as possible, Karl has a very balanced diet, typically opting for the healthy alternative. He only really eats junk food when he’s around his friends.
• Despite being squeamish and nervous around violence, Karl has a fairly high tolerance to pain and can usually keep quiet or bite his tongue unless the pain is severe—years of dealing with crises has made come with some tolerance.

Family & Friends

• Karl barely remembers his mother, so he doesn’t really miss her—his father has always filled both roles just fine. However, he is curious about her, and wishes he had a better idea of what she was like. He isn’t so keen on asking his father for details though, as his father can only tell a story or two about his mother before he gets upset.
• To make up for being a shitty leader, Karl tries his best to help his friends when they need him, even if he finds them beyond frustrating. He isn’t good at opening himself up, so he tries to help his friends as best as he can in order to earn their respect.
• Being the laughing-stock due to his temper frustrates him sometimes, because he finds that people rarely take him seriously, which goes along with the respect thing. At the same time, he would be really confused and suspicious of his friends suddenly stopped picking on him—he’s not sure which he’d like less.

Romance

• Karl doesn’t see why his relationship status, or his relationship with Teri is anyone else’s business. It’s his own personal life and there’s really no need for all his friends to know about it. As such, he prefers to keep his relationship with Teri (or his relationship with anyone, really) on the down-low and only tells selected people.
• Despite his ornery outward personality, Karl is extremely affectionate with someone he loves, and will go out of his way to ensure that they’re happy.
• Karl gets jealous very easily, and is somewhat possessive. Even if he’s told time and time again that someone isn’t a threat to him, it doesn’t change the way his blood boils when anyone flirts with the object of his own affections. However, he tries to keep quiet about his jealousy, since he knows he shouldn’t feel threatened.
• [ Bonus!! ]

Other

• Karl is an average student, earning mostly B’s and C’s with the occasional A- dotted in. His favorite subject is English, but to call it a favorite is generous, as he mostly can’t stand any aspect of school. That said, he very rarely skips class—he can’t afford extra absences when he gets too sick for school so often.
• Karl can’t swim, and hates oceans and pools. If he must go, he’ll stay on dry land, and if he must swim, he’ll stay in the shallow end. He has no desire to learn, and he’s even mildly hydrophobic. 
• Karl’s favorite movies are Love Actually and the Wedding Singer. As awful as it is, he also has a soft spot for Daredevil. He doesn’t watch TV shows as often as movies, but he’s a fan of shows like How I Met Your Mother and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, though the later is almost entirely for Will Smith.