Happy

Item #: SCP-8222

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Object will be kept in a standard 16x16 containment cell, with a red zone of ██ meters around that no personal- save for those who have been found to have high memetic resilience- may enter. The containment cell must be monitored by at least two wall mounted cameras equipped with memetic filters at all times, assuring all corners of the cell are visible. Video feed must be monitored, any unusual behaviors or vocalizations are to be logged and reported to the site manager. The containment area will contain one medium sized cat bed, and suitable toys for enrichment. Feedings of two pounds of red meat sliced into 2x2 inch cubes should be preformed three times daily, or more frequently as requested. Feedings of red meat in appropriate portions for a domestic house cat are to be performed twice daily. Under no circumstances should SCP-8222 be given more than the daily allotted amount. All complaints from SCP-8222 are to be ignored. In the event of testing involving allowing D-class personnel to enter the containment area, all feedings should be halted until the testing concludes. Any testing or requests involving allowing SCP-8222 extra feedings must be thoroughly examined and requesting personnel must submit to questioning. Testing requests must be cleared with personal who have no direct involvement in SCP-8222’s containment, and are at least clearance level 03 or higher. All those who come into contact with SCP-8222 must be screened before and after the proceedings. If personnel are found to be affected by SCP-8222 they are to be detained immediately and kept under watch for a minimum of one month or until they have been determined to no longer be affected. Personnel that have previously been affected are to be considered "at risk" for relapse and may no longer be assigned to SCP-8222. Current staff stationed outside of the red zone must be rotated every three months to limit exposure. No verbal interaction with SCP-8222 is to be initiated without clearance. 

Description: SCP-8222 is a quadrupedal entity, 8.9 inches high and weighing approximately 13.8 lbs (though the subjects weight has been shown to fluctuate wildly, and often is much heavier than it would seem). It appears similar in stature to Felis catus (the domestic house cat).
Its body is a faint grey-purple color, but appears to be mostly like that of a non-anomalous Felis catus despite the lacking of any visible reproductive anatomy or claws. Its head is larger, devoid of fur, dark in coloration and oval shaped, lacking a muzzle or nose. It has four slitted eyes that do not appear to have a typical iris, and a mouth full of thirty two teeth, strongly resembling the structure and arrangement of human teeth. At the end of each front paw, five retractable human fingers jut out where claws would usually be. Fingers similarly can protrude out from the neck at the base of the head. The fingers on its paws display a level of dexterity comparable to that of a primate, allowing for manipulation of objects and use of tools. Genetic testing on these fingers has concluded they are not originally part of SCP-8222, but rather belonged to twelve separate humans. DNA matches for five of the humans have been found. Genetic testing on SCP-8222 itself has so far yielded no results, as the subject appears to lack any structure resembling DNA entirely. Scans of SCP-8222’s body cavity to determine if it has recognizable internal systems have been similarly inconclusive. 

SCP-8222 is apparently parasitic in nature, desiring to find a “host” human to adopt and care for it. During its "luring" phase before it finds a host, It appears to most sapient life-forms as a non-anomalous, and very pretty, Felis catus specimen using a sort of powerful memetic cloaking. Possible relationship to SCP-247 (A Harmless Kitten) is currently under investigation.

It will use this cloaking to lure a potential host into wanting to care for it. Once the targeted subject has displayed affection and has claimed SCP-8222 as a pet, the affected subject shall be considered an instance of 8222-1. It is theorized to, along with the memetic cloaking, be able to manipulate nearby sapient beings thoughts and place subtle suggestions for them to follow. It appears to have near human level sapience, but appears to lack the ability to speak.  See Addendum 8222-1 Once a human that SCP-8222 has influenced takes SCP-8222 to their residence, the SCP will then stop its general memetic cloaking, and switch to a very docile, contented state. The victim will undergo 4 "stages" over a period of time. This time can vary depending on circumstances, but can be as short as ██ hours, to the longest known time of █ years. Once an instance has entered stage 4, they are considered to be unsalvageable, and are to be terminated at the nearest convenience.

Stage 1: SCP-8222 will behave as an ordinary house cat would, being satisfied with average feedings and occasional strokes. SCP-8222-1 does not behave differently, and follows normal routine if allowed.

Stage 2: SCP-8222 will start to have an affect on SCP-8222-1's memories while in proximity. SCP-8222-1 displays signs of acute memory loss, and seems more forgetful than normal. Cognitive function begins to steadily decline, with more and more of its focus and time being devoted to caring for SCP-8222. 

Stage 3: SCP-8222-1 develops anterograde amnesia. The instance expresses no desire to leave SCP-8222, and devotes all their time to it, where possible. If allowed to remain, the only time SCP-8222-1 moves is to stroke SCP-8222’s fur, or get food for it. Feedings at this stage usually have progressed to large meals of beef, chicken, fish, pork or any other fresh meat which SCP-8222-1 can acquire. If SCP-8222-1 has other pets, it is at this stage they too will be fed to SCP-8222. All meals are carefully prepared into small cubes and feed to the SCP by hand. 

Stage 4: SCP-8222-1 progresses to an essentially vegetative state. It is at this point incapable of vocalizing, and its pupils do not react to light. Metabolic rates of SCP-8222-1 have slowed drastically, and pulse drops to █ beats per minute. During this stage, SCP-8222 will produce a small blade from its mouth and present it to SCP-8222-1, whereafter they will begin to slice off bite-sized pieces of themselves for SCP-8222 to consume. The instance will continue this behavior even after losing substantial amounts of blood and tissue to incapacitate a normal human. The instance, just before termination, will remove their hands at the wrist by any means necessary and present them to SCP-8222, who will then consume them whole. 

See testing log 8222-D-1 for for further details.