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Xun Zixing. She's basically the black sheep of the family, not because she decided she was different, but because she was born different.
Grandma Xun, Xun Daji, was put down by Adeptus Xiao because she displayed erosion and corruption deemed far too dangerous to the people of Liyue. So, the mother of the siblings and the former headmistress Xun Huaiqiao, became paranoid of the future of the Xunhua and the legacy they will leave to the people. Daji was but another stain because apparently, corruption and being put down was quite common in the family history. So Zixing was Mama's greatest worry: the weak link, the sign the blood was thinning and that the blessings of the Adepti will soon be a thing of the past.
Zixing had to grow up accepting that she was not made to be a mage like all her other siblings. Theoretically, she is well versed in magic. She is extremely well read, and even more studied than them; but her innate powers are extremely lackluster and thus she had to settle to become an artificer as she could not use raw power through catalysts. Instead, she simply imbued weapons with magic. Her lack of ability with raw magic was a great point of shame to her and she never felt worthy in her fucking life even if her older siblings tried to console her about it. Hell, mama didn't exactly show disappointment when she learned to be an artificer; and was in the very least proud that she learned to be resourceful.
But that shit wasn't enough. She would never be enough like Fuxiao, Liwei and Qiaoyan. When Yidan was born after her, when she was 10 - 12, she saw they were born blessed just like the ones before her. Same with Mingxiu, then Wenruo the prodigy. In her bout of shame she moved away from home and decided to join the Millelith under a family friend and the Yaoguang of the Qixing, the Cai Family. Also the family of Cai Yujin; Liwei's bestest friend ever and the visionary who destroyed their own research on artificial Visions so that the Fatui couldn't get it.
Zixing became the Admiral of the Millelith Fleet and before Beidou, was the one who felled sea monsters and serpents. She, as a person, not a Xunhua, gained renown. And yet despite all of that, she still could not face her family. She was Admiral and Artificer; not mage, nor visionary. She married a woman who was an Adventurer who had gotten injured in her travels, and she made her magical prosthetics so she could continue on. Eventually, the woman would be affiliated with the Qixing and worked as a spy under the guise of an adventurer.
However she was forced to be locked up at home like a beast because her own yaksha blood began to show through corruption after her wife had been found out and killed by the Fatui. Zixing basically committed war crimes that had to be covered up by the Qixing themselves (thanks to nepotism); and that genuinely fucked up her self image even more especially now that her wife had died and they had no children. She had no anchor, and she had to shape up. This was what, 20+ years ago.
Now, that incident had quieted down and she retains her position as Admiral... but she still struggles with herself even after 50+ years of living. She's also called the Iron Lotus of Liyue, mostly because of her position as Admiral. If you think she and Beidou are at each other's throats; oh hell no. Beidou is her sister in arms and by god they would die for each other. They share resources, manpower, even tactics and are each other's backups should things go awry. Zixing has... never felt a connection like that ever since her wife was killed. Zixing really is just "I hate myself but by god do I love my wife to the point I would let divine karma consume me in my grief and rage that I could not protect her."
Her siblings fucking love her but their communication is BAD because Zixing is so fucking terrified of being around them because she isn't, never was, and never will be equal to them. She can't bring herself to face them and so the way she expresses her love and care is by giving them gifts, sending letters; anything but showing her damn face.
Eventually it came to the point that she knew she had to shape up. Mama Huaiqiao was now going through erosion and Nobody. NOBODY knows what is going on. Huaiqiao wanted to see her daughter... She hasn't seen Zixing in years. She hasn't even seen her on her birthdays. She misses her daughter so much. She's afraid she's isolating herself and begged the other kids to extend some patience to her and try to convince her that none of them hate her.
And maybe the first time Zixing has shed tears after the good span of a few years was when her mom welcomed her home.
Grandma Xun, Xun Daji, was put down by Adeptus Xiao because she displayed erosion and corruption deemed far too dangerous to the people of Liyue. So, the mother of the siblings and the former headmistress Xun Huaiqiao, became paranoid of the future of the Xunhua and the legacy they will leave to the people. Daji was but another stain because apparently, corruption and being put down was quite common in the family history. So Zixing was Mama's greatest worry: the weak link, the sign the blood was thinning and that the blessings of the Adepti will soon be a thing of the past.
Zixing had to grow up accepting that she was not made to be a mage like all her other siblings. Theoretically, she is well versed in magic. She is extremely well read, and even more studied than them; but her innate powers are extremely lackluster and thus she had to settle to become an artificer as she could not use raw power through catalysts. Instead, she simply imbued weapons with magic. Her lack of ability with raw magic was a great point of shame to her and she never felt worthy in her fucking life even if her older siblings tried to console her about it. Hell, mama didn't exactly show disappointment when she learned to be an artificer; and was in the very least proud that she learned to be resourceful.
But that shit wasn't enough. She would never be enough like Fuxiao, Liwei and Qiaoyan. When Yidan was born after her, when she was 10 - 12, she saw they were born blessed just like the ones before her. Same with Mingxiu, then Wenruo the prodigy. In her bout of shame she moved away from home and decided to join the Millelith under a family friend and the Yaoguang of the Qixing, the Cai Family. Also the family of Cai Yujin; Liwei's bestest friend ever and the visionary who destroyed their own research on artificial Visions so that the Fatui couldn't get it.
Zixing became the Admiral of the Millelith Fleet and before Beidou, was the one who felled sea monsters and serpents. She, as a person, not a Xunhua, gained renown. And yet despite all of that, she still could not face her family. She was Admiral and Artificer; not mage, nor visionary. She married a woman who was an Adventurer who had gotten injured in her travels, and she made her magical prosthetics so she could continue on. Eventually, the woman would be affiliated with the Qixing and worked as a spy under the guise of an adventurer.
However she was forced to be locked up at home like a beast because her own yaksha blood began to show through corruption after her wife had been found out and killed by the Fatui. Zixing basically committed war crimes that had to be covered up by the Qixing themselves (thanks to nepotism); and that genuinely fucked up her self image even more especially now that her wife had died and they had no children. She had no anchor, and she had to shape up. This was what, 20+ years ago.
Now, that incident had quieted down and she retains her position as Admiral... but she still struggles with herself even after 50+ years of living. She's also called the Iron Lotus of Liyue, mostly because of her position as Admiral. If you think she and Beidou are at each other's throats; oh hell no. Beidou is her sister in arms and by god they would die for each other. They share resources, manpower, even tactics and are each other's backups should things go awry. Zixing has... never felt a connection like that ever since her wife was killed. Zixing really is just "I hate myself but by god do I love my wife to the point I would let divine karma consume me in my grief and rage that I could not protect her."
Her siblings fucking love her but their communication is BAD because Zixing is so fucking terrified of being around them because she isn't, never was, and never will be equal to them. She can't bring herself to face them and so the way she expresses her love and care is by giving them gifts, sending letters; anything but showing her damn face.
Eventually it came to the point that she knew she had to shape up. Mama Huaiqiao was now going through erosion and Nobody. NOBODY knows what is going on. Huaiqiao wanted to see her daughter... She hasn't seen Zixing in years. She hasn't even seen her on her birthdays. She misses her daughter so much. She's afraid she's isolating herself and begged the other kids to extend some patience to her and try to convince her that none of them hate her.
And maybe the first time Zixing has shed tears after the good span of a few years was when her mom welcomed her home.
