Portland Nor'Easters (Jaylen Alonzo)

Normalest guy ever. Just kinda average. Kinda the Jacob Haynes of the minor leagues.

okay so basically justand then also that Tumblr post about the guy who ordered black coffee with a shot of blueberry syrup and called it "the order of a simple, normal man who has something wrong with him." That's Jaylen. She's of absolutely no relation to Jaylen Hotdogfingers, and would like people to stop looking faintly shocked when she introduces herself as "Jaylen." She has hearing loss in one ear and usually wears a hearing aid in that ear. She had a brief career in slam poetry, and is apparently "certified in moose fighting", even though according to everyone else on the Nor'Easters that's not a thing you can be certified in.